


Restraint

by gruene



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aggression, Alcohol, Angry Sex, Bloodplay, Dirty Talk, Dominant Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Drunk Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced Intoxication, Gratuitous Smut, Infidelity, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Lowkey Toxic Levi, Masturbation, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Masturbation, Reader-Insert, Rough Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Some Plot, Taking What I Want From Canon and Burning the Rest, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), reader is kind of a hoe and levi's a dick, some violence, straight up fannon levi tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28618572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gruene/pseuds/gruene
Summary: Warning: dubious consent, abuse of power, & alcohol throughout, age gap (legal, but present nonetheless), shameless smut almost every chapter, sparse plotLoosely inspired by Submit by raven1869.Captain Levi finds one of his cadets, the reader, drunk in a bar. Shortly after, he grapples with his moral compass and has to show restraint when she makes an indecent request.
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, Levi/Reader
Comments: 188
Kudos: 842





	1. Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding an inn to house a drunken cadet for the night seems to cause more trouble than Captain Levi anticipates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something to keep in mind, this was originally a one-shot and the first thing I've written in a long time, so the writing gets better (and less...cringey?) as you go on I promise lol.

"You are in so much shit." Captain Levi snapped, walking briskly towards the exit, fist full of your hair, as you stumbled beneath him while he dragged you out of the bar. You yelped at the searing pain from your scalp and gasped when he finally released you, turning you around and roughly grabbing your face in his hand as you regained your balance. You had never seen him this livid before, especially not with you. You were one of the "good" cadets, one who followed orders, trained hard, never broke the rules, never disrespected your superiors, why was he reacting like this? Sure, you snuck off the grounds on your night off, which was admittedly a major violation, but didn't expect to be caught like this or reprimanded so publicly. How did he even find you anyway?

Perhaps it was the alcohol burning through your veins, but instead of grimacing from the pain of his hands on your jaw, you let out a sickening laugh. Captain Levi, Too-Good-for-Everyone-Else's-Problems, was suddenly upset with you? He even swore at you, something not uncommon but never directed at you, and at that moment you had never felt more amused.

"What the hell is so funny, cadet?" He demanded, his steel eyes and thin eyebrows furrowing in ever diminishing patience.

"Nothing, ah-" He had squeezed your jaw even harder. "Just weird to see you so mad at me." You admitted from under his grip, and he released you, sending you stumbling back a few steps.

You tried to bargain. "You need to calm down, when we get back to the castle tonight I'll do whatever punishment bullshit chores you want-"

"We will not be returning to the castle, you idiot. You're in no state to ride right now, or is your liquid confidence rendering you that fucking inept?" He said venomously, taking several steps closer. His words might as well have bounced right off of you.

"Mm, where will we go then?" You half-yawned, now leaning on him with your face nuzzled on his shoulder, despite fully expecting him to push you away. Why were you so comfortable with him? He had nearly scalped you just now. "Do you want to go to a different tavern? I heard there's another better one-"

"Get off of me, cadet. I'm finding you an inn to stay for the night." He said, grabbing your wrist and now leading you briskly down the street.

You looked at him incredulously. "Captain, with all due respect, you're not my dad, okay? I don't need you to take care of me, I'm p-perfectly fine." You half slurred before tripping over your own feet into his shoulder once more.

"Trust me, with the way you've been acting tonight, I am very fucking glad I'm not your father right now." He spat, tightening his grip on your wrist as he continued forward.

"Yeah yeah, whatever that means." You responded absentmindedly, becoming increasingly distracted with the nightlife around you as he practically dragged you through the streets. "You could be my dad though, isn't that wild? Like, you're old enough to be." You said, amused.

"Yes, and I bet that thought turns you on very much, cadet." He said mockingly, now pulling you into the front of an inn, and began speaking with the attendee.

You stood a few steps behind Captain Levi, stunned. What did he just say? He had never said anything of any sexual nature with you before. You hated to admit it, and maybe it was the alcohol, but you felt a shiver run through your body at his words and a slight sensation between your thighs. You cursed yourself, this was not the time, he was furious with you. But you were drunk, and who would it hurt for you to keep the fact he just turned you on a little to yourself? You'd always been attracted to him, and his stoic, collected authority, but would have never dared show it. You watched him now as he exchanged some money with the frontman for a key, realizing he'd soon be taking you up to a room. Alone. You didn't know if he'd stay and guessed he wouldn't, but let your mind wander nonetheless. You envisioned him dragging you up the stairs to the room, through the door, and slamming you against a wall, attacking your lips and roaming your body with his hands. Your skin burned at the thought, and you felt a genuine ache between your legs. God, you were in such need.

Life with the Scouts left you somewhat touch starved, with the only physical contact you'd get being from sparring and fighting, and with your general anxiousness around men, it was a bit difficult to find a sexual partner. That was why you had come to the bar to begin with, right? To let loose, get drunk, and make it easier to find someone to spend the night with? It was honestly going well, and now Captain Levi was taking that away from you. You frowned at his back, cursing him under your breath. If he heard it, he ignored you.

"Let's go." He said, finally turning back to you after finishing his business with the man from the inn. He grabbed your wrist once more despite your protests, and unlike in your brief fantasy, did not drag you up the stairs. Instead, he hoisted you in front of him as he followed from behind, likely in case he needed to catch your fall, making you groan in annoyance.

"What now?" He asked, giving you a slight push from behind. "You gonna throw up?"

No, you weren't that far gone, but he did't know that. "Hm, maybe...you wanna carry me?" You teased.

He scoffed aloud. "In your dreams, cadet, get your sorry ass up the stairs." You hummed in compliance, and he stopped you when you reached the desired floor.

Leaning you against the wall by the door to the assigned room, you watched him fumble with the key momentarily, trying to get the door open.

"Nervous, captain?" You teased again. Shit, you thought, you need to stop talking.

"The only one who needs to be nervous is you, cadet, you are going to be in a whirlwind of punishment when we return in the morning. You have no idea how many regulations you've broken tonight." He retorted, finally getting the door open and leading you inside the modest room.

"When we return?" You looked at him incredulously, suddenly you could not care less about what awaited you in the morning. "You're staying here tonight?"

"Well, I can't just leave you here. I have no guarantee you won't just go back out and get yourself killed or worse-" Levi trailed off. Just as quickly as he did, however, he snapped back into focus.

"Now take off your boots, get in the bed- do you need to use the bathroom? Are you sure you don't need to throw up?" He asked, already working on removing your jacket for you. He wasn't wrong, you were fully intending on leaving the inn the minute he left to continue your pursuits, and your heart sank knowing you'd continue to be supervised.

You laughed and slapped his hands away playfully. He did not look amused, but that was fine, now you were getting genuinely annoyed with his seriousness bringing you down. "What, really? Didn't we just talk about how you're not my dad? Stop treating me like a child, it's ridiculous--you clearly get off on this shit." You said, and almost instantly regretted it when you saw the look on his face, his anger returned.

"I am only treating you like a child because you are acting like one. An idiotic, suicidal one with no regard for her safety. I am only here because of your recklessness." He said, suddenly grabbing your shoulders, swiveling and pushing you down to sit on the bed, ignoring your last comment completely. "Now shoes, off."

You looked at him defiantly. "Hm, I could have sworn you just called me an idiot child," you began.

"Don't start, cadet."

"And I'm not not too sure how well one of those can take off their own shoes." You crossed your arms and let yourself drop back on the bed where you sat.

"An idiot child and a fucking brat, what the hell has gotten into you Y/N?" Levi demanded.

"Uh, wine."

"You're always so diligent in your duties Y/N." He continued, ignoring you. "I thought you were more responsible than the rest of your comrades," he said, throwing his head back in an exasperated laugh, "I see now that I was wrong. You're just as immature and insufferable as the rest of them."

His words actually stung for a moment, before you sat back up, anger tearing through you. "Are you fucking serious, Captain? What the hell are you talking about? I'm-I'm allowed to want one night of freedom, okay? I'm allowed to want one night where I can let loose and get drunk and- and maybe get fucking laid for once!" You blurted out at him, and once again almost immediately regretted it. Your emotions were all over the place. He looked at you in shock, for once silent at your words, but not for long.

"Is that was this was all about? You risk your life to come out to the city just so you could 'get fucking laid'? Are you that desperate for cock, Y/N?" The captain asked incredulously, letting out the hoarsest of laughs. Your eyes widened, especially his use of that word. The knot at the base of your torso tightened, and your thighs tensed. As your eyes were locked, you briefly, for only half a second, imagined him saying it again, this time in your ear as he fucked you on the bed you were sitting in. The bed that belonged to this room at the inn. The room where you were with Captain Levi, all alone. You shook your head and snapped out of it.

"You are so dramatic, I'm not risking my life," You said, defensively. "I'm a trained soldier, I can fight for myself."

"You are so naive. Are you that inexperienced? Do you know the danger you were in, and the panic I felt when I saw you at the bar, drunk off your ass, men leering at you, one with his hand almost up your skirt?" He demanded, searching your eyes.

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" You threw your hands into the air momentarily. You were being serious, you actually didn't know, and assumed he was exaggerating to prove his point. His eyes widened.

"You're telling me you're so fucked up you didn't even notice?" He let out a disappointed chuckle of exasperation once more, but the smile quickly faded. "You are so goddamn stupid." He spat, turning his attention back to your shoes.

You couldn't believe he was this furious with you. And it was about to hit you all at once. Your one night of freedom, one that you worked up so much courage to actually leave and experience, gone now. Your reputation with your captain, not only gone but dialed all the way back into the negative. Now you were just another 'insufferable brat,' as you had heard him say many times before, and you would likely never have the freedom to escape for a night like this again. Especially not in the next coming months, now that you'll probably be on cleaning duties every night as punishment. And stupidly, worst of all, you'll go back to your lonely, sexually frustrated life, having risked so much for a reprieve that you know you won't get anymore any time soon. When his eyes returned to yours, he saw that they were quickly welling with tears.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, cadet," He sighed, and in record time practically ripped off your boots and got up to sit next to you on the bed. "Don't make this personal." He said somewhat awkwardly as he attempted to hoist you back in a position where you wouldn't fall right over. He settled on resting his back against the headboard, but you could barely notice—you were sobbing, and as his arms wrapped around you to steady you, you plunged your face into his chest. He stilled, as he did not intend to actually hold you, simply readjust you. He didn't realize how uncomfortable he'd be in this circumstance and definitely hadn't expected to be comforting his sobbing, drunk cadet by the end of the night.

"Listen, men are dangerous creatures, Y/N. They will not hesitate to take advantage of any opportunity." He switched gears from the misunderstood attempt at consolation and redirected your focus back to more tangible advice. "You have to be more careful. It's not your fault this is the way things are, you just have to learn to adjust and outsmart."

You sniffed and looked up at him, "Well, you're a man, aren't you?" you asked. If what he was saying was true, he certainly had an opportunity. You were vulnerable, emotionally broken down, disheveled, and intoxicated in his arms alone in a room for the night, and while you hated to admit it, more than willing to give him an opportunity.

"This isn't the same thing." He responded dismissively, but his gaze told you that he was well aware of the same thought that you had. That if he wanted to, he could more than easily take advantage of you.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your captain, I'm here to ensure your safety, nothing else." You looked up at him as he gazed down at you, and you realized his hold had not loosened from when he had hoisted you up on the bed. You were lying back between his legs, your side pressed into his chest as his back leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"But, you are a man, so... what? You're saying you would, but you don't want me?" You asked, somewhat boldly. Shit, shut up, you idiot, this is not the time, you scolded yourself internally.

"Christ, cadet." He said, loosening his grip a little, now that your tears had mostly stopped falling, and his hands fell down your arms to rest them loosely along with your hands that lay limp at your thighs. "That's not what I'm saying at all, you've completely missed the point."

The sides of his hands were burning holes in the skin of your thighs, your mind suddenly hyper-fixating on the sensation of the slight touch. They were so close to where you wanted them to be more than anything at that moment.

"So you don't?" You asked again, tears threatening to fall again. This was so embarrassing, you were wasted and crying into the collar of your captain, laying out your insecurities. He was right, what had gotten into you? You really wouldn't even take it personally if he didn't want you, but the weight of anything he could say to you in these moments could easily overwhelm you in your state, especially considering the words were coming from the man you were supposed to respect more than anyone.

"Y/N, you're one of my cadets, I see you as only one of the many brats I have to fucking manage all the time. You're a soldier that I have to keep alive, both on and off the battlefield. Attraction is irrelevant."

"So—you don't." You repeated.

He opened his mouth in exasperation before you stopped him. "No Captain, answer me, do you or do you not? Please, just answer that for me." You said, looking up at him with pleading eyes. You saw him suck air through his teeth, considering you.

"You're insane for thinking I could answer that for you, and we both know you wouldn't stop until I tell you want you want to hear anyway, so drop it." He said coldly, no longer looking at you.

What an asshole. "Fine, that's what I thought. I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on earth anyways." You lied, your mood changing in record speed.

"What a relief." He retorted, not missing a beat.

"You know what, fuck you Captain Levi, I don't need this right now. You don't give a shit, and I don't give a shit, so why don't you just take me back to the castle and I can go find Yeager-" You went to sit up but his iron grip hold was around you once again, forcing you back against his chest with an unceremonious oomf.

"Yeager? That little brat? You really are wasted." Was all he replied, the lack of amusement apparent. "Now you're definitely not going anywhere."

You rolled your eyes. "At least he could actually give me what I want, it's a shame titans don't have-"

"Enough, cadet." He ordered. "God, Y/N, if I'm ever this desperate, you have permission to slice my head off."

"I'll definitely keep that in mind." You almost spat back. "Do you even have sex? Are you not like some dead, unfeeling machine? Or actually, I bet you probably just guilt trip Hange every once in a while—no, that would be too good for you, you probably fuck those training dummies when no one's looking."

To your surprise, he threw his head back and laughed. You turned your head to look back at him, mouth open in shock. You were furious, you really couldn't get under his skin, could you?

"I've heard it all, cadet. But that's a new one, thanks for that." You hated him so much at that moment, yet your cheeks flushed at the approval from him, however small it was. "If you weren't being such a brat I might actually enjoy your drunk company."

"If you weren't such an asshole maybe you could get laid."

He tsk'd, looking down at you. "Look who's talking. Besides, were you not just begging me to admit my attraction to you minutes ago?" He tensed momentarily, realizing the slight slip up, probably hoping you didn't catch it, but you certainly did.

"I'm sorry, admit your what?" You asked, a grin beginning to form. "Hm, I knew it."

"Don't start again, cadet."

"Start what, hm? Don't worry, I won't go barging into your personal life when you go out, drag you out of bars and into dirty inns where I force you to spend the night with me because I just want to fuck you so badly." You mocked, not flubbing a single word of your retort, feeling privately proud of yourself.

"Keep pushing and I just might." He breathed into your ear, completely catching you off guard. Your eyes widened, looking back up at him, face reddened.

"What, nothing to say now, cadet? Was that not what you wanted to hear?" His face ever stoic, yet you could swear there was a tinge of reluctance in his voice like he had just made a private admission. "But you're not in your right mind right now, so drop it."

Your heart twisted in surprise and pleasant shock, and it took all in you to not drop your jaw open. He may be fucking with you, but something told you he wasn't, he wanted you. Captain Levi, your superior, wanted you. And suddenly, nothing else mattered-the closeness of your bodies and that confession opened a million doors of possibility in your mind, and without a second thought, you leaned towards him and kissed him.

He pulled away immediately. "Y/N, no. This is not what this is going to be. You're drunk, and have no idea-" You kissed him again, this time turning slightly to place a hand on his face. He was right, you were drunk, and his lips felt like fireworks. He pulled away again, and you felt his chest tense up from behind you. He did not move away but raised his hand to grasp your chin tightly in his grasp, as he looked at you in sobriety.

"Y/N, enough. This is not a game. I would be taking advantage of you in this state, I would never forgive my-"

"I don't care, Captain," you interrupted through hooded lids, going in to kiss him again. He did not kiss back, but this time he did not pull away immediately, letting your lips linger just long enough for him to exhale through his nose, before tensing up again and pulling back.

"Cadet—you're playing with fire. And you reek." You suddenly didn't care about how he made you feel earlier, those few seconds of his lips left you wanting more, and soon.

"Please Captain," you said, searching for his lips again, and he did nothing but look at you, seemingly at a loss. Fuck. You felt your desperation swell again, you wanted him to kiss you, touch you, pull your hair again even, just as long as he gave you the closeness you were craving so intensely that night. He looked down at you, face unreadable.

"Please, I need this, I need you, I-" you kissed him once more, and to your surprise, his mouth opened. Your stomach flipped in anticipation and you took this as an invitation, greedily exploring his mouth with your tongue before finding his, pulling it into your mouth and sucking lightly on it as your hand caressed his face. He let out a small groan, which sent electricity sparkling throughout your body. His hands, which were once resting idly on your thighs, now were at your sides, his fingertips digging into your waist in this uncomfortable position. Just when you were about to let out a moan at how good of a sensation this was, he pulled away from your mouth, and you hummed in protest.

"No, cadet," he said, turning away, his face showing restraint as you had never seen it before. "You don't know what you're asking for, I'm sorry."

"You can't kiss me?" You asked, feigning innocence.

He looked back at you, his features softening, almost pityingly. "No, I can't. I can't do that, you're asking me to restrain myself. Maybe if the circumstances were different, but even then, as your captain-"

"Levi," you said, his naked name feeling unfamiliar in your mouth. His gaze sharpened on you. "Please, please just make me feel good then," your words were barely above a whisper as your mouth remained centimeters from his. "You don't have to do anything else," you bargained. "Please just...touch me."

He looked down at you tentatively, considering what you had asked him. You knew you had him in a delicate situation, your tear-brimmed eyes looking up at him, you had just exposed your desires to him, and your request contained the most sincere of intentions. After a few moments of internal thought that you could not even begin to guess the contents of, you felt your captain's hand grip you by the back of your head, pulling it back by the hair and exposing your neck, where you felt his lips press down on gingerly.

You stifled a preemptive moan at the unexpected sensation and undeniable pleasure from this, as his mouth began kissing the flesh of your neck, his other hand holding you secure by the waist between his thighs as he hoisted you back against him. You let out a small gasp as his crotch was now pressed firmly against your backside, and you felt an indication of a growing erection lightly grind into you. This took you by surprise, but you reassured yourself, trying not to get your hopes up, that it was simply a biological response, and he had already made it clear he had no intention of using it.

His lips continued kissing along your neck up to your earlobe, which he surprisingly nipped at lightly, sending shockwaves through you. Fuck, that felt good. His other hand, once at your waist, traveled around your body, exploring it extremely cautiously.

The free hand traveled excruciatingly slowly up and down your arm, sending shivers through as you closed your eyes in newfound stimulation. It then traveled back down to your waist, squeezing at your sides before traveling down the top of your leg, and you internally begged him to move it to your inner thigh.

Taking one of your free hands, you placed it over his, about to move it to where you wanted when he removed his lips from your neck, and used his grip on your hair to turn you to face him.

"Listen to me cadet," he said lowly. "I know you think I don't, but I understand, okay? We all need... affection, and if I can do this for you in a way where we don't cross too much of a line, and it will keep you off of these streets at night, then I'm willing to do that for you." You nodded, knowing you needed much more than affection right now, but you weren't about to protest. He was already pushing his moral code.

"So I need you not to move your hands, and not to touch me. Can you do that for me?" He asked. You nodded again, reluctantly, but you guess you could understand. You moved your hands to rest neutrally outside of his thighs.

"Okay, good girl." He breathed, looking down at them, and you felt your heart lurch. He had to have known what that would do to you.

He continued stroking your limbs and waist, and his hand was now traveling down the outside of your thigh, only ever lightly brushing your inner thigh, careful to not get too close to where he knew you wanted it most, but in his motions ultimately sliding and bunching the fabric of your skirt up to the apex of your thighs.

"Fuuuck," you breathed, not thinking. For someone who was already expecting to feel more than usual due to their touch-starvation, you were not anticipating this level of pleasure from this amount of contact. The combination of the alcohol, desperation, and delicate power imbalance of the situation resulted in a cocktail of sensitivities to each touch you received, and you knew you had completely soaked your underwear. You felt his hot breath on your ear and you bit down on your lip, hard, but you knew it wasn't enough—you wanted more.

"Captain-" you started, and you felt his breath hitch and his hold on your hair tighten slightly, at the sound of you calling him that in a situation like this, sending a shock of pleasurable pain through your scalp and down your spine. "-Levi, ah, please...more..."

"Don't," he breathed for the first time since he had told you not to move. He sounded different, weaker--like he struggled to get out the single word. "I agreed...just to touch you." He spoke slowly as you lifted your leg, bending it at the knee, and his hand slipped tentatively at the newly exposed flesh, sending streaks of fire under your skin in all directions from his fingertips.

You rested your head against his, which he did not react to, and with lips barely touching his cheek, not daring to kiss him again as you shut your eyes, you whispered, "please..."

A beat. "Please, what?"

Your breath hitched. You think you know what he wants, and with all the courage you could muster, you squirmed slightly against him, lightly rubbing your ass up against his bulge, before breathing out, as sultrily as you could, "Please, Captain..."

He let out a throaty, erotic exhale against your ear as if he had been holding his breath, as he finally slid the pads of his middle fingers down the thin fabric covering your hot wet cunt, immediately eliciting a low moan from you as you felt the Captain begin to abandon his morals. You couldn't help it, couldn't wait to give him time to consider this new progression and began rolling your body and hips ever so gently against him and his hand, and he groaned in what sounded like defeated frustration.

The hand holding your hair finally released you, and your head lolled back, resting in relief back over his shoulder, as the newly freed hand groped at your breast, sending you into a moment of euphoria as his lips went back to your neck, his hand squeezed your tit through the soft fabric of your blouse, and his other fingers began working tantalizingly slow, small circles of pressure over your clothed clit. You let out a moan of pleasure you had not felt in a long time, your hands not daring to move from their position on either side of his thighs again, despite how much they wanted to stroke his thigh and reach around to his cock, which was now painfully hard against your backside. But you didn't dare push him now, now that he was giving you want you wanted.

"Ah, Captain-" You were going to express how good it felt but felt your breath catch when you felt his cock twitch behind you. You felt dirty, evil even, for this, but the pleasure you were feeling from only this much made you want--no, need-- more. And he seemed to respond well to you calling him Captain. "Captain Levi," you started again, as innocently as you could muster.

"Does that feel good, cadet?" He breathed into your ear. "Is this what you wanted?"

His words set off alarms in your head and you felt your heart beat leap from your pussy. God, yes, please keep talking, you thought. He seemed to notice your reaction to his words of affirmation, and decided to encourage you a little more.

"Tell me, tell me how good it feels. You're being so good for me now, this must be what you wanted?" You could have died right there.

"Yes, it feels, ah, that feels so good, please--please don't stop."

His small circles over your clothed clit quickened slightly, no longer painfully slow, and the pressure increased as well, drawing out a gasp from you. All you could hear from him was steady, yet ragged, breathing against your ear, and you could tell that you had not eased his need for restraint at all since the moment you kissed, you had only given him much, much more to resist, this realization sending a wave of twisted pride through you. Here you were, with Captain Levi, the man who would not hesitate to demoralize or dismiss the feelings of any cadet that crossed his path for so much as a glimmer of disrespect, now groping your chest and rubbing your pussy while whispering sweet things in your ear, all at your request. A man who was also, not to mention, your squad leader, immediate superior, and captain, who apparently liked to be addressed as such even in these circumstances. The dirtiness of the situation alone was bringing you closer to your peak as he continued to rub quick, strong, and precise circles over your impossibly sensitive clit, the wetness soaking through your panties and onto the bed below easily by this point.

Before you could continue relishing in the forbiddenness of the circumstances, he moved his fingers away. Before you could protest, you heard him. "Fuck it," he said, in the most erotic exhale, more to himself than to you, and you felt his fingers move up and slip under your panties in one swift movement, finally making direct contact with your completely slick pussy, and you moaned deeply, arching your neck further back against his shoulder, before decisively nuzzling it into his neck as he started to play with you, now with complete access. His other hand had not stopped pawing at your breasts, which felt amazing, but you knew you desperately wanted them to rip off the fabric of your blouse, reach under your bra, and feel the flesh on flesh contact in all its capacity. As if he had read your mind, he reached under your shirt with urgency, almost painfully pulling the cups of your bra up over your breasts and placing a firm grip on the soft flesh, his hand pressing it up against your chest and fondling them more aggressively than before.

However, your attention was redirected and you gasped as you felt a finger, and then another slip inside of you, more than easily due to your absurd slickness, and a low groan escaped both of your mouths as you arched back onto his erection once more. This pressure on him, not unlike just before, seemed to silently encourage his actions, and he began pumping his fingers in and out at an increasing pace. To your surprise, his other hand left your chest and dipped between your legs as well, now rubbing your clit as the other had done before—much harder. He was trying to make you cum. This nearly broke you, and you cried out in pleasure at the dual stimulation.

"Ah-that's perfect," you encouraged, running through in your mind the different ways you could ask him to talk you through this sensation.

Whether it was for you, or for him, you didn't know at that point, but you tilted your head back and began kissing his neck, which caused him to groan lowly as his eyelids hooded slightly, and he began working his fingers even faster, looking down over your shoulder at the view of your now exposed breasts and his own hands at work.

"Y/N," he warned, but you knew he was enjoying it, and you didn't listen, sucking and kissing hungrily on the tendon of his neck, despite the angle your own neck was at, up to his earlobe, which you gingerly bit on and dragged your teeth down, receiving a low, exasperated moan from him. You took this as a win, and did it again, kissing and sucking along his neck and working your way to his ear again, biting it as you did before, and at that moment felt his fingers curl up inside of you, pressing against a spot and massaging a pleasure point deep inside you that you had never felt before.

Your mind went blank, and you moaned loudly and obscenely-- directly into his ear.

"Oh my fucking god," You heard him practically growl, and before you could process this, he turned his face towards yours for the first time since he began touching you and he kissed you, hard.

You responded hungrily, kissing him deeply in response, and he pushed his tongue into your mouth, prompting you to suck it, which you did eagerly. The kisses he earlier rejected seemed to come back in full force, except now with him reciprocating just as fervently, all the while still fucking your pussy with his fingers and rubbing your clit better than even you could. Your lips felt white hot, on fire, electric together, and in your still somewhat drunken frenzy, you did what you swore to yourself you wouldn't.

You moved your hands from their resting stops on his thighs, slowly at first, hoping he wouldn't notice, then swiftly reaching behind around you and placing your fingertips around the head of his cock protruding against his pants. He groaned deeply into your mouth, a throaty vibration reverberating through your mouth, sending that same wave of sick pride through you. And then, suddenly, he slipped his fingers out of you and removed his other hand from your clit.

You whined into his mouth before he broke the kiss too, leaving you seeing stars momentarily and wondering what he would do. In that half-second, your mind raced, did you go too far? Did you ruin this? Did he change his mind? In the next half-second, his arms lifted you up and over away from him, bouncing you a little on the mattress as you were now positioned with your legs facing the headboard and on your back, and you watched as he followed, crawling over on top of you. You could barely catch your breath before he sat back and grabbed your hips, hoisting your legs over his thighs and dragging your underwear down to your knees, then up and off your legs entirely. Disregarding them, he hoisted you up by the hips again, grabbing the backs of your thighs, pushing them down beside you as far back they would go. You yelped at the unexpected stretch momentarily as he spread you open, looking down at your now fully exposed pussy with dark eyes.

You began to prop yourself up on your elbows but he reached over, not even looking up at you, and pushed you back down rather roughly, your head bouncing back on the mattress, and his hand resumed its place on your thigh.

"I told you not to move, cadet," he said, still staring down at your exposed pussy, hands still gripping tightly. For the first time, you felt a little scared. All this time, you thought you were in control, you could coax him into touching you in the ways you wanted, but at this moment you realized it was him and his self-control, and now lack there-of, that was calling the shots. "Clothes off. " He said simply and began unbuckling his harness. You stared back, jaw slack, mind trying to catch up with what you were hearing.

He finally looked up at you, as he pulled his harness and shirt up over his chest in one swoop, going for his belt and pants next, and let out a small chuckle. "What, cadet, changed your mind?" he leered. You gulped. You had certainly not, but you had half expected him to let you tease him all night, now realizing how stupid that all sounded now. Nevertheless, despite your excitement, that same small, twisted, disgusting part of you wanted to see how far he would take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all feedback is welcome!


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of the night before become apparent, and Y/N must decide how to remedy them.

You looked up at Levi from where you lay. Naked from the waist down, legs spread, and practically trembling all over, you watched as he leaned forward, his shoulder muscles flexing in the low light of the room as he now loomed over you. You watched as he moved in slow motion, eyes closing as his lips went to meet yours again. 

You jolted.

He pulled away, eyes searching your face, brows knitted and showing a new, growing concern. "Wait, cadet. I'm serious, did you? Change your mind?"

You blinked back at him, your mind was suddenly blank. You honestly didn't know how to answer, because you honestly didn't know how you felt at that moment. Before you could even think to communicate that, he must have seen that small glimmer of fear in your eyes, because he sat back up entirely, lips parted as one wide eye stared at you through the hair hanging in his face. He looked horrified.

"Oh God, I'm such a fool. This never should have gone this far--what.." He trailed off, voice barely above a whisper. "What the hell was I thinking...?" His eyes searched yours briefly before darting away and moving to reach for his clothes; it was like he couldn't look at you. 

"Levi, I-it's okay, I want this." You sat up on your elbows and attempted to reassure him, but he just shook his head, pulling his shirt back over his head and clipping his chest harness back on, facing away from you as he got up from the bed entirely. 

"It's too late for that. I should have known better," He said, suddenly completely devoid of emotion, as he grabbed your discarded underwear from the floor, placing them it by your feet. "I'll be outside by the door. We'll leave at sunrise in a few hours, try to get some sleep before then." He said firmly, turning to leave. 

You just looked at him from where you now sat, mind lagging behind as you tried to process the complete change in tone. Was he right? Was he overreacting? It's not like you were black-out, about-to-pass-out drunk. But you did admit to things tonight you never would of dreamed of otherwise. For fuck's sake, you realized, you literally begged him for this. Your mind raced and embarrassment like you've never known it began to kick in as you watched him walk out the door before stopping and looking back at you, and your heart skipped a beat.

"I-," For a brief second, it looked like he was going to apologize, but he didn't. He turned back just as fast as he had turned to look at you, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

With your body exhausted, eyes drained of tears, orgasm ruined, and head already pounding as the alcohol had finally almost completely worn off, you slowly dragged yourself to the pillow and buried your head in it. This was the worst possible outcome and you blamed yourself entirely for it. Not only did you feel dirty, no--evil, but you hated yourself for putting yourself and Levi in this position to begin with, unable to deal with the onset of shame from the events of tonight. Tears began to fall once more and you prayed he couldn't hear your sobs, before the exhaustion overwhelmed you and you drifted off to sleep.

...

Three rapid knocks at the door. Your eyes felt like they had been cemented together as you struggled to open them fully, but it wasn't long before the events of the night before flooded back, and then they shot open. Oh my God, did that really all happen?

"Cadet L/N, it's time to go." You heard your captain's voice from beyond the door. You sat up, quickly found and pulled on your underwear, and threw yourself out of the bed. Whoa. You stumbled on your own two feet briefly, feeling lightheaded at the few hours of sleep and dehydration from last night's antics. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the simple mirror hanging in the room; your hair a mess, lips dry and eye bags pronounced, but you didn't have time to worry about that now, attempting to smooth your disheveled self out as much as possible before opening the door to find Levi standing there, hair in his face.

You stood facing him for a moment, trying to find the words to say but he didn't give you the chance, as he turned away immediately and began descending the stairs, and you followed quickly after him in silence.

The ride back to the castle was also spent in silence as the sun rose, and you thankfully arrived while the other cadets were at breakfast, leaving you relieved that you had the chance to escape back to your room unseen. When you arrived on the grounds and the horses were sufficiently accommodated, Levi finally turned to acknowledge you.

"Captain, I can't begin to apolog-"

"Cadet," He cut you off. You studied his face, and the hints of pain lining his expression. He still wasn't looking at you, and seemed just as sleep-deprived as you did, if not more. You wondered if he had slept at all, and knowing him, you could almost count on that. "You're relieved of your duties for today; try to rest. I've decided not to inform Commander Erwin of your transgressions for now. Just make sure it doesn't happen again." He said curtly and left you in the stables.

You were floored. You knew you shouldn't, but you really wanted to try and fix this, and even though you knew things would likely never return to normal, you really wanted them to. In any other situation, you would never have blamed yourself, you would have told anyone else that it wasn't their fault, so why did you feel like this?

After trudging back to your room, the rest of the day was spent taking care of yourself and trying to ignore those gnawing thoughts of shame. By the time the sun had set, you took a deep breath and began to walk through the castle walls, your mind made up. You _were_ going to try and fix this, against your better judgment perhaps, but before you could talk yourself out of it, you arrived at your destination.

You stood outside the door of Captain Levi's office, heart pounding. What was the worst that could come of this, anyway? You tried to reassure yourself, failing as you realized many, many bad outcomes were possible. He could throw you out the moment you tried to come in, refuse to hear you out, or worst of all, hear you out and _still_ want nothing to do with you. Not that you necessarily cared at this point if he did, but you wanted to make sure he was okay, and that things wouldn't be too tense between the two of you in the future in training or on missions. You swallowed the knot in your throat and knocked on the door.

"What?" You heard your captain's voice from the other side of the door, and your heart raced. Normally, when at any of the superiors' offices, you would be greeted by being asked to state your name and business, you couldn't think of a reason why he was answering differently now. He must be extremely busy, or worse--pissed off. You could still turn back now, you could turn and run and give it up, but no...you had to make things right. You decided to answer in the manner you normally would. 

"Cadet L/N, sir." You spoke, trying to hide the quiver in your voice. "Um, personal matters." 

Your heart sank as a few seconds of silence passed, was he going to turn you away? You wondered in a brief panic before you heard him again.

"Come in."

You opened the door, and nothing could have prepared you for what you saw. Captain Levi was seated at his desk, papers littering it and even the floor, as he laid back in his chair in the dim light. You had never seen him like this before, accustomed to his usually meticulous self and surroundings. Darting your eyes around, you spied a glass grasped in his fingertips and two darkly colored bottles on his desk before looking back at him, noticing his more flushed than normal complexion and slightly unbuttoned shirt. He was...drinking?

"You gonna stand there all night, cadet?" He spoke, looking you up and down before turning his attention back to his glass, tipping it back to his lips. 

Unsure of yourself more than ever now, you quietly stepped in, closing the door behind you. "Captain, if this is a bad time, please let me know and I can come back later. I just thought I'd come by and formally apologize for my behavior-"

"Hm, ' _captain_ ,'" he imitated, smirking into the glass. "You were so funny, calling me that last night." 

You swallowed. Yeah, this was definitely a bad time. "I see. I apologize, I'll come back later." You said, turning to the door.

"No, you're here now. Say what you need to say," he spoke, and you sighed, facing him. He was staring you down, almost challenging you to look him in the eyes as you addressed him.

"I just," you began, searching for the right words, eyes glued to the floor, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for putting you in that situation. I should have respected your boundaries and I hope we can move forward as things were before. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, I'm more than willing to do it, and I just hope...you can forgive me." There, formal apology, done.

He just looked at you, amused. "Finished?"

"I, uh...yes?"

"Hm," he poured himself another glass, "apology not accepted," and knocked it back.

You were stunned, but really, despite what had transpired between the two of you the night before, this was still Captain Levi you were talking to. You couldn't have expected this to be easy. 

"I'm sorry, Captain. I...I'll just see myself out," you said, absolutely crushed, and began to leave once more.

"You know what your problem is, Y/N?" You froze at your name. Before you could ask, he continued.

"You're so...meek. Strong, talented physically, sure, but your whole act is so transparent. I can see that now." He said, pouring another glass. You had no idea how to respond to that.

"I'm not sure what you mean, I'm sorry."

"Yes, you do." Levi stood up, facing you now, and your heart rate leaped. "You're a coward. You follow orders, hold your tongue, do the bare minimum. You can't even speak your true mind without some liquid courage, much less stick up for yourself. I'll give it to you though, I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up here tonight." He said, taking lazy steps towards you. 

"That's...that's not true," you lied. He was right, normally, you would never admit your desire for him under any other circumstances than the ones you did last night, much less to his face.

"Yeah?" He was so close to you now, you could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Prove it."

You could practically hear the blood rushing in your ears, you felt like a cornered animal, faced with the humiliation of his words, knowing that even escaping the situation would only prove him right. You searched his face, trying desperately not to show any emotion as you knew he was searching yours. His eyelids were low, and you couldn't believe he was still awake, considering the alcohol mixed with the all-nighter he must have pulled. Running through your options, you were at a loss. 

You were overwhelmed with his closeness and intensity now, especially considering you had no idea how much he himself had had to drink by this point and were ashamed to admit to yourself that it turned you on, just a bit. The glass in his fingers was nearly touching you, he was so close. That's when the idea hit you.

Moving quickly so he hopefully would not see the shakiness of your hands, you grasped the glass from his fingertips and knocked it back, swallowing the dark liquid with a grimace. Shit, that was awful.

"Hm, that's a start." He said, the smallest glint of amusement in his eyes. "Is that all?"

You looked up at him, a chill vibrating through your body as you felt the drink slide down your esophagus, and nodded. You were still nervous, obviously, but felt somewhat proud of yourself for thinking of something.

"Well then, cadet, good for you. You know how to swallow." He mocked and began to turn back to his desk. "You're dismissed."

And just like that, your heart sank again. "No-" You blurted out. Oh my god, shut up, shut up, shut up. He raised a brow at you.

"I-," you couldn't believe yourself, "do you have another glass?"

He considered you for a moment before cocking his head towards the modest cupboard at the far end of the office, where you assumed more cups were stowed. "Knock yourself out."

You quickly found one and took the bottle from his desk, where he had returned to by now, and poured yourself a healthy serving. Whatever it was, it was disgusting, but you were in desperate need of an anxiety killer. He watched as you helped yourself.

"I didn't take you for such an alky," Levi commented.

"I'm really not," you said quickly, taking a sip. "It's not like I have a lot of access anyway. Besides, I didn't think you drank at all either."

"Only when I'm feeling guilty," he shrugged, taking a seat on the ordinary couch in the small seating area of his office. "Which is becoming more and more these days, unfortunately."

You took a deep breath, the shame coming back up in your throat. You had to assume he was at least somewhat referring to the night before. Taking a deep breath, you went to join him on the couch, an action to which he raised a brow again. You tried to address him as sincerely as you could muster. "Listen, I really am sorry-"

"Cut it out Y/N," Levi snapped. "You're sorry it didn't go your way in the end. You're sorry you got caught sneaking out and sorry you didn't get what you wanted. You're only feeling sorry for yourself, and we both know it." He finished his drink and you stared at him in shame, knowing that he wasn't wrong on some level, but very wrong on others.

"I didn't know it would turn out like that," you admitted, eyes now pointed at your glass. "And...I know you know it wasn't only my fault." You didn't dare look at him; you had no idea how he would react to your words, as it was the first time you pointed out his share of responsibility.

Although you weren't looking at him, you felt his eyes piercing holes into your profile. "I'm aware." He said simply, and you waited for him to continue. He didn't.

Well, I guess that's that then, you thought, admittedly somewhat irked as you stared into your glass. The guilt you had felt all day shifted inside you, realizing you had just spent hours kicking yourself for giving the captain another reason to blame himself when in reality-- he didn't feel that way at all. He had just made that clear. He must resent you as much as you resented yourself, you concluded.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," he condemned suddenly.

You raised your eyebrows, a bit irate that he would try to kick you when you were down. You took another healthy sip of your drink, this time barely even tasting it. "Honestly, I don't even know what the fuck you mean, Captain." You murmured.

"You clearly have more to say, and you're keeping it to yourself--that's what I mean." He said. You could tell by his tone that he was beginning to get more annoyed than usual.

"Why the hell do you care?" Your exasperation was beginning to bubble up again, finally turning to look at him, but you caught yourself. You need to keep it together; if you go crying into his arms tonight, you could probably count on getting your ass thrown out the door.

Levi was leaned back into the corner of his seat, arms resting along the frame of the couch, considering you for a moment before answering. 

"I failed last night, cadet." He spoke stoically. "I know you're not sorry because you have no reason to be; your apology is bullshit at best. What I need is to know-" he faltered, regarding your now dubious gaze, and sighed irritably, but his true reluctance seemed to lie in his impending confession. "I want to know if I hurt you." 

"That must be so hard on you, captain," you tried to hide your sarcasm, but not very much. A part of you was pissed off that he felt so eligible to access your thoughts, especially considering the otherwise complete lack of remorse from him that you suddenly felt entitled to. "At least you _got_ an apology." You finished your drink, eyeing the bottle across from you.

"Is that what you want? An apology?" He asked, tone seemingly sincere, but you didn't face him. 

_'Is that what you want?'_ His words rang in your ear, and you flashed back to the night before, when he had asked you that same thing, fingers buried in your cunt. Your face flushed at the thought, and although you hated to admit it, you knew you still wanted him. His touch was electric, technique unmatched by any other partner from your past. Not to mention, the thrill of such sexual insubordination still turned you on like crazy. In the span of a second, you replayed the feeling of your captain groping at you, struggling to not grind up against your ass as he sucked your neck and rubbed your pussy. God, he was right, you did wish things had ended differently. You wished wickedly that he hadn't snapped out of it, that he had felt as overcome with need as you had and just pulled your head back by the hair and fucked the consciousness out of you. Your clit twitched suddenly at the thought. You still weren't looking at him.

"Cadet," Levi interrupted your thoughts. You lifted your head as if to finally regard him but didn't. "I need you to tell me what you want--you were more than eager to last night." Is he...taunting me?

You scoffed. I can't believe him, you thought, as if you weren't just picturing him thrusting into you. "You made it clear you can't give me what I want, Captain." You snapped back, internally pleased with your quick response. Still, his words incited arousal, especially now in memory of him breathing your title in your ear, knuckle deep inside of you. 

When you realized he wasn't answering you, you sighed to yourself, looking at your empty cup. I guess I can kiss that all goodbye now. I've sufficiently fucked this up too. Suddenly self-conscious, you decided it was time to leave, and went to look at him one last time.

When you turned to look at him, his face was inches from yours. You froze, and before you could react, his lips were on you. Swimming in the unexpected exhilaration, you couldn't even begin to decide to kiss him back or pull away in time before he pulled your bottom lip in his mouth, sucking and dragging the flesh between his teeth. The sensation was unanticipated and sent a shiver of need through you, and you groaned softly into his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against your lips, reaching for you as his hand wrapped behind your neck, closing the distance. Fuck. It was pathetic how quickly you melted at his words. Reacting a little slower than you would've liked, you blindly tried to set your glass down on the nearest surface. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, practically into your mouth, his other hand snaking around your waist and your body nearly jolted at the touch you had missed so much in only the span of a day. But still, you were paralyzed in disbelief at his actions.

"I'm sorry," he repeated once more, almost in defeat. You couldn't help but revel at the vulnerability of this moment. 

"I-I'm sorry too," you managed to get out before his tongue was in your mouth again. 

Fuck it, right? Your hands were in his hair in seconds.

You were about to pull him closer to you, wanting more than anything to experience that sweet pressure against you again before his hands moved to your hips and hoisted you with impossible strength towards him. In moments he had pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled it eagerly as you devoured each other, breathless as he kissed you now without the restraint from the night before. You were the first to pull away, and his thin brows furrowed in disagreement until your lips pressed against his neck, and he hummed in satisfaction.

"I'm so glad you came," he breathed into your ear, as his hands roamed your back, traveling down across your ass and thighs, gripping tightly at random intervals. A sense of validation fluttered through you at his words, and even more so when you reached your hand down to palm between his legs, noticing a growing presence in his pants.

You nearly yelped into his mouth when you felt a hand slap your ass and grip it roughly, and your eyes fluttered at the contact. You realized then that if the two of you were really about to do this, you really didn't know what to expect. The night before was under completely different circumstances, all you knew of his behavior in bed up until this point was from when he had touched you while purposefully not pursuing his own interest. 

Considering this, you really didn't know what you were in for, much less aware of his personal desires. Another slap to your ass and you yelped, the action solidifying that thought for you, and your stomach fluttered in anticipation as you pondered how you had no way of knowing just yet the nature of his desire.

You must have been thinking too loud, as the captain pulled back for a moment, scanning you. "Too much?" 

"No," you breathed, "do it again," before returning to his mouth. He grinned against your lips and obliged you, administering another _much_ more resounding smack. The brief pain of the contact mixed with the pleasure of being handled, something you craved so badly. It felt amazing, and you ground down in his lap, rolling your hips against his hands as they clutched down on you, hard. 

One of the hands parked on your ass began to snake its way between your legs from behind, and you nearly jolted when he pressed into the seam of your pants, into the crevice of your ass, three flat fingers drawing an agonizingly slow line all the way down, and then forward along the split between your thighs and over your cunt, searching for your clit. _Oh my god,_ that single action felt dirtier than the words you were exchanging the night before. You whined into his mouth, which he seemed to take as a sign of appreciation, his fingers reaching their target to rub your now pulsating clit through your pants.

Just days ago, you were grinding into your hand with your face in your pillow, yearning for a touch that was not your own, mind jumping from scenario to scenario, admittedly sometimes (and now somewhat ironically) envisioning Levi. You felt twisted for it then, it was just a fantasy, a crush on your captain. You could never have imagined that only a few days later, you have you on his lap, outlining and fondling you like this, as if _trying_ to get you to soak through your pants.

Interrupting your thoughts, his hips jutted up against you from underneath, stealing you back from your own mind, sending white-hot streaks of need throughout from where he had pressed himself against you. Not needing a second invitation, you rocked back down on him, his bulge grinding into your pulsating clit through the layers of fabric separating you both. 

The hand that had reached around to touch you now pushed and prodded at your entrance through the cloth, his own growing erection having taken its place, massaging it tantalizingly. The lewdest of whines shot from your throat into his mouth, and he bucked up against your clit again, sending your head lolling back. 

God, you needed your clothes off as soon as possible. He granted your silent wish, suddenly hoisting you off of him and sending you back on your feet while you reeled at the sight of him.

"Strip," he ordered, and you wasted no time, pulling your nightshirt over your head and moving down as you watched each other disrobe. Staring at you through heavy lids, he leaned back against the couch, thighs parted as he undid his belt--you could have died at the sight of him like that. Lust drenched, at ease yet still domineering, his almost menacing energy rivaled your on-edge, hasty movements.

Pulling the last leg out of your pants as you stood before him, almost naked save for your underwear, you gazed at him once more, catching sight of his heavy lids until your attention was caught by his hand wrapped around his now freed erection, administering slow, lazy tugs. You hadn't gotten the chance to see it the night before, and could only marvel for a moment before shooting your eyes back to his, his gaze unfaltering as a small smirk graced his lips. Eagerness must have been written all over your face. 

"I didn't tell you to stop," Levi probed, jerking himself in a torturous display. You practically gawked at him. Regarding your captain as he stroked his cock leisurely as if only for show, you wondered if this was the usual series of events for him. This wasn't even necessarily kinky, yet somehow you felt like you were taking part in some dirty reverie. The tone had easily shifted from last night, you were the one entertaining requests now. The hard liquor from earlier was beginning to hit you now though, you realized, as your eyelids began to burn a little--that was usually how you knew, that and the gradual relief from your usually racing thoughts. 

Newly emboldened and a little loosened up, you straightened up, reached around, and unclasped your bra, all the while never breaking eye contact with your captain's hawk-like focus. As the straps followed along each shoulder, the garment finally dropped to the floor, your nipples perking up from the chill of their exposure. 

Trailing your hands down your chest, it was almost like a game of who would look away first. You smirked to yourself, ego slowly engorging as you made a point to glide your fingers over the curve of your breasts, and his gaze faltered briefly. Hm, I guess I win, you surmise to yourself smugly, reaching for your panties when he stopped you. 

"No, cadet," Levi cut in. The hand resting on his thigh raised a finger, spinning it in a circle. "Turn around." Your breath caught in your throat. 

God, you had never been with someone who knew what they wanted like him, nor had you really ever given someone such a full display like the one he was asking of you. Flashing back to the night before, you remembered how he had you on your back, pried your legs apart, spreading you open, and leered down at your pussy with that steely, slack-jawed regard. You shivered at the memory. This must be the same man talking to you now, you thought, swallowing your pride as you slowly turned to face the modest coffee table behind you, completely suppressing the apprehension that came with what you were about to do.

Hooking your fingers under the fabric, you began tugging them to your knees, back softly arched as your underwear slid over the curve of your ass, your motions deliberately painstakingly slow as you listened to the low rhythm of his strokes. You peered over your shoulder at him, where he was still seated, lids pointed at your body, hand moving along his swollen shaft. He looked so powerful, so authoritative, yet so biddable--it was intoxicating. You smirked at him and faced away again, keeping your back smoothly straight as you resumed unveiling what you knew he wanted to see.

"Fuck," you heard him mutter, the soft sound of his hand jacking himself off barely reaching your ears--but enough to hear nonetheless. Your brief unease had disappeared--this was a powerful feeling, you realized. The raw desire that you could feel emanating towards you and the thick lust in the air, as you slowly uncovered your slick pussy and backside for his enjoyment, sent a wave of that same twisted pride from last night straight to your head. 

You couldn't relish in that feeling for long, as the moment your underwear hit the floor you heard a rustle followed by a sudden presence behind you, and his hands were on you again, swiftly gripping your hips as his thighs pressed up behind yours. I guess I did a good job, you thought to yourself, before letting out a small sigh when you felt his lips latch onto the skin of your back, planting an open mouth kiss into your shoulder. 

In the same moment that his lips were on you, his hands groped along your hips, to your waist, to your thighs, to your ass, like he had to manhandle each area to show his desire. Inhaling sharply, you were overwhelmed for a second, arms reaching back around you to steady yourself on his hips as you were still somewhat bent over, his muscles flexing under your fingertips. He was touching you all over, pawing and tugging at the flesh vigorously, and all you could do was arch back against him, your neglected pussy whining in need, now pulsating. It took all in you not to topple over onto the short table below you, he had you bent much more forward now with only him to hold onto as he ground up behind you, exploring and attacking your body much like the night before, only much more untamed. You almost abandoned one of your holds on him to reach back around and touch yourself when his dick suddenly slipped between your thighs.

A low growl vibrated from his throat into the skin of your back, his rock hard length gliding too easily across the swollen wet lips between your thighs, the wetness having already begun to drench that small space above where the thighs touched, rubbed along the sides of his cock. You nearly choked as the head pressed firmly into the back end of your clit, and he held you firmly in place before starting to thrust along your slippery folds, the head now gliding against your clit wonderfully, and you couldn't help but cry out at the exhilarating relief of the stimulation. It was too late when you realize just how loud you were being.

A hand practically slapped around your mouth and nose, and your eyes widened, face stinging. "You want the whole castle to hear you, cadet?" He hadn't stopped moving between your thighs, and you whimpered into his hand, shaking your head vigorously.

A chuckle. "I can't hear you," he mocked. "What was that?" You mewled against his fingers--you genuinely couldn't breathe, panic daring to take hold but miraculously staying at bay as he rocked into your clit repeatedly. He ignored you, taking his time, almost as if to see how long you could last. The answer was, unfortunately, not very long at all, as he had taken you by surprise and you groaned obscenely into the barrier over your mouth and nose.

Finally, you were able to gasp for air as the hand slipped down over your lips, taking refuge on your throat lightly and holding your head up. With your ass arched against his cock and neck gripped back into his shoulder, you struggled to get a hold of yourself, panting.

"N-- ah!" you attempted to answer him, but as soon as your lips had opened, his other hand had coiled around your waist and dipped between your legs, now rubbing your clit mercilessly. For a moment, you saw stars.

He tsk'd. "That's not an answer, cadet," he mused, but you could barely hear him, head spinning as you sucked in air and eyes almost rolling back in pleasure as he worked your clit with intense vigor, the other hand squeezing tentatively at your throat. "I know you can do better than that."

"No," you choked out finally, gasping as your face twisted in disbelief. You were bound to cum any moment. However, the cruel bastard behind you must have felt that in your spasming clit, and his circles slowed substantially. "Oh shit- no, please," you whined.

In the coming moments, you could picture his smug face vividly as he rasped into your ear, hot breath tickling you. "Please, what?" That sadistic motherfucker.

"Fuck," he had you right where he wanted you. "Oh god, please- please, Captain." A grunt escaped his lips as he fucked the space between your thighs.

"Again." He ordered. You couldn't take much more of this.

"Captain," you whimpered. "Please don't stop--fuck-" The circles on your clit quickened slightly, encouraging you. "Ah-please, Captain, make me feel good again, I-I need more," you practically panted.

He unleashed his hold on your throat, and you practically fell forward, hands fumbling to the coffee table beneath you as his hold between your thighs kept your legs upright against all odds. 

Without hesitation, his cock plunged into you, burying himself in your drenched pussy. 

"Oh- fuuuck," you couldn't help but moan out, as your captain had you bent over, your arms outstretched on the dismally low table, and his own hand still at your clit as he began pounding into you. You couldn't stand back up if you tried, his thrusts lurching you forward over and over, as the hand once at your throat now clutched your hip and held you steady, the sound of his own hips slapping roughly against your backside and low grunts from him filling the room. Overwhelmed was an understatement, and soon a fucking euphemism when you felt him lean forward in tandem with you, now able to resume brutally rubbing your clit with the angle he could now achieve, his thick cock hammering into your convulsing cunt.

"Shit," you heard him struggle to speak for the first time. "You're fucking tight," he praised, and your eyes fluttered, the sound of your own moans and whimpers coloring his words. Consumed with pleasure, you could barely enunciate, let alone respond, and your head lolled into your shoulder. You were either about to cum or your arms were about to give out from under you, but even that thought didn't last a full millisecond--your mind and body inundated with the stinging pleasure of his fingers in motion and his cock snapping into you as you approached your peak, walls clenching around him spasmodically.

"Don't fucking cum yet," he cautioned into your ear, but you didn't care anymore--you were so close, this was all you had wanted for weeks, and your walls tightened around him again.

Levi must have given up on that sentiment, rapidly approaching his own peak, because his pace on your clit quickened impossibly, and groaned against you. "Shit, okay-" he panted, that hidden weakness you had heard the night before shining through. "Damn it Y/N, cum on my fucking cock." 

You needed no more encouragement, as the most indecent moan tore from your throat, pleasure ricocheting from your cunt out through the rest of your body, as he thrust deeply into you, his length throbbing back against your own pulsating walls as your peak overwhelmed all other sensation. For several moments, that pleasure reverberated through you, and Levi kept it that way, never ceasing his near vicious pace at your clit, his digits so slick that the contact was almost indiscernible by this point. 

"Fuuuck, Levi, ah-" you were left whimpering and weak as your long unsatisfied pussy milked his orgasm out of him as well, leaving him groaning into your back, mouthing indistinguishable expletives against your skin. It wasn't until many more moments after that the pressure on your clit finally eased up and your pleasure finally dissipated and your cunt finally stopped spasming, and you realized his other fingers were still digging into your hip. A wave of exhaustion rained over you. Okay, now your arms were really going to give out.

Levi exhaled deeply against your back, still holding you against him, his soft lips dragging across your skin for several beats before sighing and slipping his softening cock out of you, drawing a considerable exhale from your lips as well. You mustered all the strength left in you to straighten yourself out and up, finally turning to face him. 

Cheeks flushed, brows furrowed, and lids so low they seemed almost closed, you revered his heaving, muscled torso, clearly just as wiped out as you were. You had forgotten that he hadn't slept the night before--impressive then, you thought to yourself. He looked so worn out that you don't want to even think of how disheveled you must have looked--you were the one who received all of the roughness anyway. Still, in your exhausted state, you gazed and him and smiled, a hoarse laugh escaping your throat. Damn, you haven't made this much noise in a while, you realized.

"Hopefully, you got what you wanted," he teased and you chuckled, nodding softly. Pulling his pants back up lazily over himself, he sat back into the couch, returning the soft smirk before leaning back, head lolled over the frame, clearly exhausted. You stood somewhat awkwardly, realizing you were the only one still butt naked, and searched for your clothes, pulling your nightshirt over you and underwear over your legs. Shifting on your feet, clothes in hand, you bit your lip looking at him.

"Captain?" You started, but the realization quickly hit you--he was out. You had never seen him asleep before obviously, and the rumor was that he only ever slept a couple of hours a night anyway, so you were stunned to witness it yourself. Still, who knows how long he had gone without sleep before last night, and after your latest antics and the alcohol, it really shouldn't surprise you that he's passed out. You smiled to yourself--he was pretty cute when he slept. 

You felt a little bad for leaving him on the couch, but it's not like you could carry him to his bed--not that you even knew where it was. Pulling on your pants and tip-toeing over, you planted a brief kiss on his forehead before slinking over to the door, bra and shoes in hand.

It should be late enough at this point that no one would be around, but you still took a deep nervous breath as you went to open the door and leave. As you pulled it open, your eyes widened in horror.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 coming soon! Probably tomorrow or the day after that. Once again, any and all feedback helps! 
> 
> Kinda corny ending, I know, but I like a bit of suspense lol. 
> 
> This is my first time writing any kind of fan work, not to mention writing smut, so please let me know your thoughts! Either way though, thanks for reading! :)


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N has to lie to get herself out of a tricky encounter and later decides to take the rest of her comrades along with her for another forbidden night out off the grounds. 
> 
> Warnings: Alcohol, major dubcon, aggression, some slapping

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" You blinked in terror, having never felt more stupid in your entire life. Eren Yeager, fellow cadet and occasional companion, stood behind the door with an outstretched arm, as if he was about to knock. Of course. While you had no idea why he was there himself, you couldn't help but feel like you should have been more careful. It's not like you could show up at your captain's office, drink his liquor, and get the daylights fucked out of you, all without knowing his schedule and expect to waltz out completely in secret.

"Oh," You shifted on your feet. "Hanji asked me to grab something from the captain's office--I'm helping her work on uh-one of her project things. Why do you ask?" His bright eyes regarded you; the lights were low, so he thankfully couldn't see the deception on your face, but still glanced at you and then into the office inquisitively. You obviously couldn't hide the fact that you were there in your nightshirt, and thinking quickly, you snapped the garments that were still in your fist behind your thigh.

"Huh, gotcha," he responded, "The captain said he wanted to talk to me, unfortunately. I just didn't expect to see you." He shifted forward as if he expected you to move aside, and you nearly jumped.

"Oh he's not here!" You blurted out, mustering everything in you not to come across casually. If he had taken another step he would have been able to see Levi, still on the couch, himself, and you silently thanked God that it was located in the part of his office out of line from the door. Eren's eyes began to rise again to scan the room. Shit, his office was a mess, you remembered, and shot a hand out on his arm.

It worked, and he looked back down at you. "I think he's with Commander Erwin right now actually- yeah I remember now, here, I'll go with you--I'm on my way back to Hanji's anyway," forcing a tight smile and using your hand to guide him away from the door which he allowed, as you stepped out and closed it behind you. Success, you thought and exhaled quietly in relief.

Managing to maintain light conversation as you and Eren walked down the hall towards the other offices, you struggled to ignore the dull pain between your thighs and prayed he couldn't smell the sex sweat and alcohol on you, maintaining a healthy distance from him. You couldn't help but feel a little bad. You and Eren were friends, and he could probably sense your caginess, the last thing you wanted was to unintentionally make him feel like you didn't want to be around him.

Finally, you reached your destination outside Commander Erwin's, where you figured he would simply be turned away once he realized Levi wasn't there, at which point he was no longer your problem.

"Alright, see you later Yeager," as started towards your room until he stopped you.

"Uh, Y/N, can I ask you something?" You gulped and nodded at him. "Why are you barefoot?"

"Oh, uh, it's actually a really funny story- um..." Chewing your lip, exhausted, and out of ideas-- you realized you didn't want to deal with this. "I'll tell you about it later, I'm gonna drop some stuff off at Hanji's and go to bed. Hope everything goes well with the captain!" Wishing him goodnight, you turned on your heel and hurried off. God, you hoped you weren't really as transparent as Levi had scolded you for being earlier.

Dropping your shoes to the floor and practically throwing yourself onto your bed, you gazed at the ceiling, a smile creeping across your lips. _I just fucked my captain_ , you mused. Whether on not you got away with it, you had no way of knowing yet. Eren had no reason not to trust you, and it's not like you had a reputation for this kind of thing, nor any noticeable public association with your captain more than anyone else in the squad, you reassured yourself. Your lie about Hanji would probably come back to haunt you though, but you were too beat to really let it bother you yet. Sleep took you in its grasp, and you drifted off, satisfied.

The next day, your duties were to resume, so you cleaned yourself up and got put together, regrettably having slept through breakfast. Snapping the last part of your harness together, anticipation clawed at your insides from the thought of seeing Levi again at training. Striding down the hall through the castle and out to the grounds, your gaze found him.

God, you loved the sight of his physique. He had always been attractive to you, with his collected stance, occasionally cocky stride, and ever apathetic face that regarded everything as if it was an inconvenience. You couldn't help but recall the thrill of seeing the sharp lines of that face corrupted with lust, cheeks flushed as he unbuckled his belt, hips jutting up slightly with his legs spread. Eager and a little nervous to be in his presence again, you allowed a small grin to cross your lips like a lovesick schoolgirl--you couldn't help it. Picking up your pace, you jogged over to join him and the rest of your peers.

"You're late, L/N," he commented at you the minute you joined the ranks, his hands preoccupied as he shuffled through some papers that you assumed were updates from the corps. You blinked at him--you definitely were not late. Eyes darting around, you caught some curious looks from a couple of the others near you who also witnessed this interaction, well aware of the fact that you were on time as well. 

"Um, sir, I'm sorry but," he looked at you with disinterest as you continued, "I don't think I am?" You knew you were right, just because you happened to be the last one there didn't mean you were late, not to mention how the other cadets weren't even fully at attention yet.

He tsk'd, eyes returning to the papers. "Late _and_ insubordinate. 30 laps, L/N." Your stomach flipped, he couldn't be serious. What the fuck? Why was he doing this to you? Swallowing your bruised ego, you let out a sigh, catching an empathic look from Eren as if to say 'you know how he is," and turned to begin your 30 laps of hell around the grounds.

By the time you had returned, panting and sweat-drenched, you were gulping down water before shooting your captain the most venomous stare. Levi wasn't even looking at you, watching from the point on the grounds where you all usually met each morning out at the rest of the squad sparring as was regularly part of the routine, several meters away. You trudged over to him, still struggling a bit to catch your breath.

In your short walk over, you couldn't help but feel your heart sink a bit, spirits understandably crushed. Just because of the intimacy you shared, it's not like you expected special treatment, but you definitely didn't expect outright punishment, especially when you did nothing to deserve it.

"What the hell, captain," you breathed heavily, more as a way to express your suffering than as a question. "Is this your way of telling me you're a sadist?"

"I can think of a few other ways to do that," Levi stated, eyes still pointed forward, arms crossed as he studied the movements down the field. "You need to work on your stamina."

"Don't worry, I won't pass out after one round," you grinned up at him and caught a hint of a smirk on his lips. Reveling momentarily at your own boldness, it was as if something had begun to overtake you-- like you didn't care nearly as much about keeping up the filter over your thoughts. I mean, this is what he told you himself was the problem, right? That you didn't speak your mind enough? Moving forward to jog over down the field and join the action, you didn't give him a chance to respond.

Training came and went, and you were silently downcast as Levi had essentially ignored you for the rest of it, the feeling only intensifying knowing you were likely not going to see him for the rest of the day as you had other duties to attend to. By the time you strolled into the canteen for dinner, your eyes scanned and searched the room for him, and to your dismay, it looked like you wouldn't see him there either. Get a hold of yourself, you thought. Just because you had a couple of sexual encounters didn't mean you have to see him all the time. Remembering your interaction with him earlier at training, those cursed nerves you so often tried to ignore sparked up in your brain again, and you wondered if he was back to resenting you again now. 

Just when you were really starting to get down on yourself, you glimpsed a head of raven hair enter the canteen, that same arrogant stride bringing it to the table beside yours to join the other superiors. Scolding yourself for the mere sight of him bringing heat to your cheeks, your eyes glued down to the food below you, trying to ignore the juvenile excitement bubbling up at your throat.

"You alright?" you heard Eren from across the table. Blushing up at him, you tried to hide your stupid private glee.

"Yeah, why? Do I look funny?" You blurted out nervously, suddenly hyper-aware of your own appearance. You had a sense Eren knew what was going on, despite your lies to him earlier, but tried to suppress that fear. If he did catch on, you could only hope he kept it to himself, and he only shrugged in response, turning back to his other conversation. 

Stealing glances at your captain throughout dinner, you couldn't help but notice he wasn't paying attention at all, sipping his tea, looking straight ahead, and looking as disinterested as ever. By the time you and the rest of the squad were stood and ready to leave, you felt a hand grip your arm. Mind instantly flashing to Levi, you turned in anticipation, only to be slightly disappointed and brought back to reality.

"Seriously, Y/N, are you okay? You've been acting all jumpy lately," Eren asked with a friendly chuckle. Your eyes darted over to Levi out of habit, only to find those steely eyes looking at you already for the first time all night, and your heart jumped.

"Yeager, seriously, I'm good," you stifled a casual tone, turning your attention back to him. "Why do you keep asking?"

"I dunno, I've just noticed you're a bit more tense than normal...is Captain Levi giving you trouble?" His tone suddenly serious at the mention of the captain. 

"Eren--no, I'm fine, nothing's wrong."His hold on your arm hadn't loosened, and as you went to pull away you noticed he still stared down at you in skepticism, and with a brief moment of deliberation you decided to relent--just a bit. "Honestly, don't tell anyone but...I snuck off grounds the other night." His gaze sharpened.

"Really? What the hell for?" Now with his grip loosened, you began to both walk to the exit with the other cadets, and an urge deep inside yearned to steal one last glance at Levi before you left, which you repressed despite still feeling that domineering watch from behind. "Are you in trouble now or something?"

You sighed and admitted to your transgressions, "I went to a tavern. I just wanted to let loose for once; it was easier than I expected, but I was sloppy and stupid to go alone, so I got caught. So yeah, I've been in some shit recently. That's all." You figured that by admitting at least _something_ , that you'd circumnavigate any further speculation.

"Damn, Y/N," Eren's gleaming eyes widened at you. "I didn't expect that from you, to be honest." You shrugged and went to continue up the castle stairs that would lead you to your quarters before he stopped you again.

"Hey--I hope you don't mind but..." You turned to look at him, his hands clasped together. "Do you think you could help me do the same? I've been kind of a dick to Mikasa lately and...I wanna make it up to her, you know?" You smiled down at him. He was such a sweetheart sometimes, and you couldn't help but respect his dedication to his childhood friends, however naive he could be sometimes, but it's not like you were any better.

"You know what...sure Yeager," you said, and he lit up. "Let me know when, I guess?"

"I was thinking tonight?"

Your smiled faded. "Wait- really?"

"If that's too soon after you getting caught- I totally understand, I just thought the sooner the better, you know? And if you think about it, they probably wouldn't expect it again so soon after you-"

"You know what?" you interjected suddenly, "you got it. Let's all go tonight." An unfamiliar surge of adrenaline rushed through you at your newfound bravery, only further spurred on by his equally as thrilled expression. "Come to my room tonight after midnight. Bring Mikasa, and honestly whoever else wants in, I don't care."

The devilish gaze you two shared at that moment affirmed your plans, and he thanked you before scurrying off to find the other insubordinates ready to escape tonight. Giving you a high five on the way up to the cadet quarters, you shouted up at him, "Dress sexy!" and with that, stalked off to your own room, ready to accept the consequences that may come. 

...

Throwing back yet another shot, your ears were flooded with the overwhelming sound of music, conversation, and life of the tavern you now found yourself at, although now unexpectedly with almost the entire Levi squad. More than willing to let Eren take the credit for the whole excursion, earning him several pats on the back and hollers of approval from your peers for the orchestration of such a night out, you and him stole mischievous glances the entire time and received several drunken 'thank you's from him, and you couldn't help but let go of your worries.

The two erotic nights you had spent with Levi were beginning to fade away, and you allowed it. For all you knew, those interactions were just a couple of flukes, a pair of circumstantial coincidences that brought you together. Now that you had officially fucked, you felt stupid to think he'd continue to give a shit about you--who knows how often of an occurrence this was for him and other women. Burning with slight embarrassment from earlier that day at the now fading memory of him making you run laps for no good reason, you embraced your current disobedience. That asshole didn't care about you, and you knew it, and most of all, you knew it shouldn't matter. You were too young for him anyway--for fuck's sake, you were one of his cadets. You should be exactly where you were right now, raising hell with the rest of your friends--not playing fantasy girlfriend and pining for his attention.

Not even realizing your glass had been refilled, you took another swig, and before you knew it, lips were on yours. In your haze, you honestly couldn't care less at that moment who they belonged to and took them in vigorously, opening your mouth and swirling your tongue with theirs, embracing the intoxicating warmth of the sensation, the touch of the hands now at your sides, and the pressure of a strong chest thrusted onto yours. Trailing your hands up your captor's arms, you finally pulled back to open your eyes, regarding the figure in front of you.

"Jean! You fucking slut," you giggled, throwing your head into his shoulder lazily as he stood between your legs from your seat on the barstool, large and rough hands still holding you upright.

Receiving an equally as drunken laugh from the dirty blonde, he grinned down at you. "You're much cuter after a few drinks, Y/N, what can I say?" he teased.

Throwing a haphazard punch into his arm playfully, you tilted your head back and pulled him in again, not caring who he was at that moment, only searching once again for the brief bliss of his lips. Vaguely hearing a few 'ooo's from the rest of the squad, you accepted all of the vigor he returned as he kissed you back deeply, practically pushing you back up against the bar stand as he took your kiss as an invitation to let his hands roam over your body. You couldn't help it--and God you wished you could--but even in your stupor you recalled the feeling of Levi's hungry lips on yours, his hand between your legs, and you groaned into Jean's unsuspecting mouth, silently and somewhat unintentionally encouraging him. In the fog of your newfound drunken arousal, you barely registered the following events as they unfolded.

With a squawk of pain, Jean was pulled back by the hair to the floor below you with a resounding thud, and a hush fell over your comrades. 

"Out, _now,_ " you heard a familiar voice from your vicinity growl at you and the rest of the gang, and your eyes snapped open. Levi was standing before you, enraged as you had never seen before, except for maybe when he had caught you himself. With your jaw hanging open, you caught his gaze, and couldn't help but tremble slightly at the absolute murder in his eyes. 

Cadets began to scurry towards the door one by one, Eren taking a frantic Mikasa by the hand, Sasha and Connie leaning on each other as they stumbled out as best they could, and as you lept out of your seat to give Jean a hand, a swift kick from your captain landed on him, sending Jean straight back to the ground as he doubled over in pain.

"Levi!" you almost screamed, scrambling to pick your wounded friend off the floor. Shooting you a near homicidal look as you fumbled to assist a now-incapacitated Jean towards the exit, Levi stormed out to presumably reprimand the rest of your friends. As you hoisted the groaning man holding onto you out into the cold night air, you heard the frenzied apologies spouting from Eren's mouth to your captain.

"Seriously--all my idea, please don't-"

"Yeah, Yeager? And I suppose you thought of this all by yourself, huh? You empty-headed fuck," Levi spat, and you seriously thought he was going to swing at him before Mikasa stepped between them. Honestly not even able to keep your focus on the commotion around you, Jean's body weight on your shoulder began to overwhelm you and you stumbled to lean him against the nearest stone wall. A string of expletives and a vague gesture at what sounded like finding yet another place to house the band of tipsy soldiers, you watched as they began to trail down the street after an infuriated Levi. Eren and Connie held up Jean between them as Mikasa and Sasha dawdled behind, ready to help at any moment, and you rushed to join them. 

"L/N!" You heard Levi call from the front of the group, and you groaned in frustration, what did he want with you now? You sauntered over hesitantly before trying to match his quick and hostile stride, impulsively grabbing his arm to both keep up and steady yourself.

"Hm, yes?" To your surprise, he did not brush you off of him as you anticipated but did not relent in his pace.

"Was this you? You brought them here?" He still wasn't looking at you.

"Yeah, maybe, so what?" He stopped suddenly and you almost fell forward, thankful now that you had grabbed onto him, but it was at this point that he shook you off of him. Looking up, you realized you were standing at the same humble inn he had brought you that first night, and he left you with the others to speak with the attendee.

You all trudged up the stairs in pairs, Jean still having to be supported by Eren and Connie the whole way, and despite the obvious trouble you were all in, drunken giggles and playful insults were still being thrown around like it was nothing. Levi had arranged three rooms for the lot of you, the distribution among the group you were still not aware of just yet. As you all rounded the corner of the appropriate floor, he began barking out commands. The boys were to share the room at the far end, the girls to share the room in the middle, and Levi had surprisingly gotten one for himself, presumably not wanting to babysit once again.

Some grumbles were heard as the boys had no desire to share a single bed, Eren in particular as he and Mikasa dramatically reached out to each other as they were both swept into their respective rooms. As you helped Sasha hoist Mikasa forward, you locked eyes with your captain who watched the noisy spectacle unfold, looking as unamused and exasperated as ever, waiting for you all to retreat to your rooms.

"I--get off--I need to see if Eren's alright," Mikasa hiccuped, attempting to reach for the door when her legs gave out underneath her, eliciting a howl of laughter from you and Sasha. After several minutes, you and her had managed to corral her despite her best efforts into bed, her usually powerful swings now significantly dampened under the influence, and she passed out almost immediately. Sasha curled up next to her eagerly, about to drift off herself as she patted the now small sliver of space left for you to join when a sinful thought crossed your mind.

"I'll be right back, I think I dropped something outside," you lied, and before she could protest, you had already closed the door behind you. 

You stood, but mostly swayed, in front of Levi's room, and waited for the sounds from the other rooms to die down a bit before turning the handle of his door, not bothering to knock and inviting yourself inside, closing the door behind you as you leaned back on it in one swift motion. Your captain was sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard with a hand pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation.

"Yeager...and now Jean? You really are a desperate slut," he muttered lowly, and you approached the bed, taking a seat facing him to his side.

"What can I say?" You murmured and placed a daring hand on his thigh. "I'm insatiable," and took the hand at his face by the wrist with one of your own, and used the other to cup his face, quickly pulling him in to plant your lips on his. You knew you were pushing the limit, but it was nothing new at this point. All you wanted at that moment was to once more experience his warm lips, his touch, his filthy words in your ear, his skilled fingers and hard cock...you gave into your desire, swimming in the memory of the nights before. You only had his lips for the briefest of moments before you felt hands at your shoulders.

He practically pushed you to the floor, and you stumbled back, miraculously keeping your upper body upright as you fell onto your ass. 

"Hey...what the fuck was that for?" Levi swung his legs over the bed and towered over you from your position on the ground. You swallowed nervously as he gazed down at you almost...pityingly? You licked your dry lips nervously and realization washed over you when you noticed his hands at his belt, undoing the buckle with precise fingers. 

"Hm, why so surprised, cadet?" With a final tug, he had successfully unfastened his pants, his hardening cock freed and clasped in his fingers, slowly dragging along the length. Regarding him with widening eyes, a wicked smirk crossed his lips and he leaned down to you, his other hand roughly grabbing you by the hair to meet his gaze, eliciting a small yelp.

"Is this not why you came to my room? Why you _keep_ coming back? Like the dirty fucking _slut_ you are?" His words dripped with malice and arousal and your stare fixated hungrily on his dick, now only centimeters from your face. Oh my fucking god, you thought to yourself, and your clit jumped at his vulgarity. He no longer seemed concerned with the moral code he had held himself to that first night, and it was admittedly, very fucking exciting.

Twisting in dulled pain from his vicious hold on your hair, you nodded quickly, not wanting to further provoke him, and he straightened himself out, satisfied with your response. "Good girl," he lauded, and used his hold on you to jerk your face between his hips. "Now suck my cock."

Your pussy literally twitched in arousal, and needing no further encouragement, you situated yourself to sit on your heels, greedily taking the head of his cock between your lips. In your inebriated overexcitement, you decided without thinking that you couldn't wait any longer. You needed him inside you--truly inside you--as soon as possible, and in seconds swallowed his length down as far as it would go. Hissing in unexpected pleasure from above you, you groaned at his impossibly tight grip on your hair strengthened even more and from the head having slammed into the back of your throat, spit spuming out from the sudden intrusion. If there was one upside to your insobriety dampening your senses, it was that you barely registered the assault on your gag reflex. Wrapping your lips around his shaft, you pulled back for only a handful of seconds before thrusting your head forward all the way again, sucking vigorously as you forced him to invade your mouth completely. 

"Oh- fuck," you heard Levi mutter, likely in surprise at your zeal, and you hummed at his words, sending vibrations through his cock as you bobbed the head in the back of your throat, completely unbothered by the absolute mess that was beginning to spill over your lips with sickening squelches. A guttural moan tore from his lips, almost as a wordless indication to slow your relentless pace, but you ignored it, at that moment all only caring about milking his impossibly hard cock with your mouth, your fingers digging into his hips as they couldn't help but sloppily snap forward into your face. 

You knew from the moment you agreed to sneak out the squad tonight that this was the outcome you wanted, despite trying and failing to convince yourself you were over it. Hoping it was only due to your previous streak of celibacy that you were so infatuated with your desire for Levi, you realized when Jean had kissed you that that was not the case. Now, with your lips practically slamming against the soft skin of his lower stomach with every thrust, your own arousal was building rapidly, underwear soaked and clit aching for stimulation. Throat spasming and convulsing at the self-inflicted violence of your motions, you could tell your desire for his pleasure was coming closer to fruition. It appeared that so did he, and he roughly unsheathed himself, pulling out with an obnoxious ' _pop_.'

Gulping down air and wiping your mouth, not realizing how dedicated to your actions you had been, Levi grabbed you by the shoulders, swiveling and propelling you back onto the mattress of the bed where your head bounced softly. The alcohol coursing through your veins only heightened the burning sensation of his fingers trailing up your thighs to your skirt, spreading them and pulling your hips to the edge of the bed with one fluid motion, your ass hanging off the mattress. You gazed down at your clothed cunt centimeters from his throbbing and glistening erection, biting your lip in anticipation and about to reach down and finish the deed yourself before a finger slipped your panties to the side and glided over your slick folds.

"So wet for me, huh?" He leered down at you, fully aware that you were itching for more, moaning out already at the minimal contact. "You're more filthy than I thought, cadet. Sucking my cock like that...you really are insatiable," the crassness of his words stoked the fire between your legs, and when he began tracing feather-light circles on your clit, you almost cried out in pleasure. Knowing better, you slapped your hand over your mouth, biting down on the fingers in unmatched restraint as he increased his pace at your spasming center, hips bucking up into his hand lewdly, desperate for more.

His other hand reached up from underneath and slapped your ass, _hard,_ and you screamed into your arm, hips recoiling up and away from the impact. A look of pure perversion graced his features, and he dealt out another, and then another, and several more scattered smacks and strikes on your backside, sending you into a frenzy of contractions as his other hand never relented on your cunt, building you up only to let you crash back down, careful to slow his tempo whenever he felt you quiver in his hand.

"Ah- oh, shit- you bastard-" you mumbled from between your fingers before he pushed his cock to the hilt inside of you suddenly, and you all but screamed.

"Yeah?" Levi taunted, "Say it again," he dared you, now having pushed himself up over you as he began thrusting relentlessly, your thighs pressed up by your sides. Your mouth hung open, mind beginning to slip into that amazing blankness that you craved so much, clouded with pleasure and lust and Levi and nothing else as his width slammed into you. Barely able to think, much less respond to his taunts, a low whine escaped your lips at the friction of his cock rubbing ruthlessly against your walls, your swollen clit grinding up and down against his lower stomach from the angle he had you at.

"F-fucking- ah-bastard," you managed to squeak out. He only grinned down at you slyly in response, and promptly shoved a thumb into your open mouth. Choking briefly as the digit pressed into the back of your throat, your lips eagerly wrapped around his thumb, tongue swirling around it fellatiously and he groaned, head dropping down into your shoulder. Hearing his breath steadily increase as his thrusts quickened to a feverish pace, you realized he must be approaching his peak, and sucked on his thumb vehemently before releasing it. Turning your mouth to him, you unleashed the most shameless, filthy moan into his ear.

"Jesus fucking Christ, cadet, shit--" he practically snarled into your shoulder, grunting as his strokes became sloppier and wilder, and you were rapidly approaching your own peak before he pulled out suddenly. Whining in protest momentarily, it wasn't long before his intentions became clear as he hoisted himself over you, straddling your chest in seconds, cock now positioned above your face. 

"Dirty fucking brat," he grumbled, stroking himself urgently as you could only gaze up at the swollen, angry flashes of his cock between the rapid motions of his hand. Reaching behind him to grab a wrist trapped under his thigh, he practically threw it between your legs. 

"Touch yourself, slut," he ordered, and you complied merrily, rubbing quick tight circles over your clit as you gawked at the sight of your captain mounted on your chest, hair in his face and cheeks flushed, jerking himself fervidly.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, please," you whined from under him and gasped in disbelief as his free hand collided with your cheek, sending a streak of white-hot pain through you. Seeing stars for a second, you gazed up at him in shock and corrupted carnality at his actions. 

Through labored breaths, he regarded your reaction, never ceasing his pace as he jerked his cock in front of your face. "Beg," was all he uttered, and you lurched right into nymphomania.

"Captain, please!" You threw your head back as your orgasm became unavoidable, clit throbbing in pleasure as your hand practically skidded back and forth over the slippery folds. "Please let me cum, Levi, fuck-" Through hooded lids, you revered his sociopathic like stare, almost daring you to maintain eye contact as the depraved words spilled from your lips. "Please, please cum on my face, captain, I need it-- I need your cum on my face-"

White-hot ropes of cum shot along your exposed neck and chin and your own peak washed over you, as your hips bucked into your hand at the sound of vulgar moans tearing from Levi's throat, mixing with your own cries of pleasure. Watching as his strokes began to slow, a low mumble of curses filled the air as he dismounted you, dropping on his back to lay beside you.

The sound of effortful breathing filled the now silent room, and as you both looked up at the ceiling, chests rising and falling, the realization of just how loud you had both been settled in. Still a bit too drunk to care about the others hearing you just yet, you sighed in satisfaction. Levi was the first to break the peaceful moment, sitting up and tucking himself back into his pants. You watched the flexing of his back for a moment before he stood and walked off, disappearing into the bathroom briefly before returning with a hand towel, which he used to wipe the droplets of cum on his hand before returning to you on the bed.

"Messy little brat," he hummed under his breath, but his tone was more playful than condemnatory, and you allowed him to clean the streaks of fluid from your face and neck, grinning up at him as he finished. Sighing down at you, he studied you for a beat. "Are you...alright, Y/N? Did I hurt you?"

"Uh, yeah," you teased, "but it's okay, I liked it."

Snaking a hand under your head, he pulled you up a bit to meet his lips, planting a small kiss on your forehead. "I don't know what it is about you, cadet. I'm...I'm sorry, I don't know why you bring this side out of me." He mumbled against your skin.

Twisted pride. That's all you felt at his words, yet again. Looking up at him, you shrugged. "Lucky for us, I can't get enough of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: jk I'm writing one more chapter w/ tons of smut just bc this last one was so short >:)
> 
> ...
> 
> Ahhhh and that's the end of my first ever one-shot/smut! Comments help me out a lot and thank you so much to the people leaving kudos and comments, it seriously makes my day and I literally check for them like every 30 minutes lol. 
> 
> I'm thinking about writing more because this one was a bit short, and there are just so many more scenarios I have brewing. I also feel like my writing is getting a bit better with each part, so let me know if I should either continue this or start something new or anything; I'm also open to personal requests or prompts! 
> 
> Thanks again 4 reading <3


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N and Eren deal with the consequences of the night off grounds and Levi takes out some stress on Y/N. Later, Eren admits to knowledge he shouldn't have in his possession.

Over two weeks had gone by since you had snuck out for the second time to get piss drunk and find your way into your captain's arms, however, this time you were not fortunate enough to escape the punishment Levi had assigned your gang of insubordinates. Now scrubbing the stone walls of one of the common areas with a coarse rag, you privately reflected how it could be worse. 

Following that last quickie at the inn, you and Levi had stolen to each other's rooms practically every night you got, on a few occasions at multiple points throughout the day, some encounters sober--some not. He'd often poke fun at your hypersexuality, as you'd find yourself palming him stealthily should you happen to pass each other in an empty hall or staircase, which he'd respond to with an exasperated sigh and light slap on your ass. Hypocrite. One time, after a particularly stressful meeting of his, you'd actually been successful at baiting him, remembering how he had practically thrown you over his shoulder and into the nearest closet space. Biting your lip at the thought, you couldn't wait to be done with your nightly tasks, partly because your hands were starting to feel raw, but mostly because it meant you could slip off to his quarters once again.

That's the way it was; Levi would use you to take out his frustrations on and you would use him to scratch that relentless itch for closeness. It was extremely casual, encounters limited to mostly a series of harsh words exchanged followed by fired up, sometimes angry, sex, some brief washing up and then you'd be on your separate ways again. 

You realized now just how much you were relying on these little escapes, finally recognizing how much of an impact life with the Scouts had actually had on you. You had never considered yourself much of a sex addict, but with him it was different--it was all you could think about sometimes. Figuring it was harmless, aside from your poor overworked clit, you gave into those constant urges for touch and pleasure, and it wasn't as if your captain wasn't enabling the shit out of you anyway. It had admittedly lit a bit of a fire under your ass, your personality peaking through more and more each day as you become less concerned with the perception of others and having to watch your tongue. Levi was an abrasive man to begin with, and the taunts that once quieted you with his spiteful tone alone now often evoked an antagonism in you once reserved for drunken nights only. That was no longer the case, as you'd become more comfortable spitting the same sarcasm right back at him at any time of the day.

Sitting up and tightening the cloth triangle you'd fashioned around your head like a bandana, you noticed a new presence enter the large room. Eren strutted in, giving the back of your head a playful slap to which you returned an impish elbow to his arm as he squatted beside you. 

Your friendship with him had grown stronger following the events of the escape off the grounds, seeing as how you were both punished a bit more severely as the ringleaders of the whole affair, causing you to spend more time than usual together sweeping floors and scrubbing windows. As a result, your already distant acquaintanceship with Mikasa had diminished significantly, with her shooting you cold stares every once in a while, but that was to be expected.

"Done slacking off, Yeager?" you prodded, a bit annoyed, and he mocked your expression with an exaggerated imitation.

"For your information, Y/N," he said, "I was just with the captain."

"Oh?" You said, heart flipping at just the mention of his name but feigning a casual tone as usual. "Why?"

He shrugged. "He wanted to talk about the mission next week, go over details, you know. Nothing major." Images flashed briefly in your mind, your face pressed into his pillow as he held your wrists together behind your back, pounding into you as he littered your backside with smacks and slaps. Oh god, and that one night when he fingered you in the stables--

"Helloooo," Eren waved a hand in front of your face, and you realized you had spaced out for a moment too long. You shooed the hand away; your mind was elsewhere and that need was bubbling up inside you again, and you decided you couldn't wait any longer.

"Since you were off busy sucking the captain's dick for like an hour, you mind finishing off these chores for me? I'm exhausted," You said, standing and stretching out your sore limbs, the irony of your words not lost on you. Shooting you a dirty look, he threw his head back in exasperation but agreed nonetheless, he had been gone for a while, it was only fair.

"I think I liked you more when you didn't talk as much," he grumbled, taking the rag from your hand and you gave him a look of fake sympathy and waved your goodbyes before sauntering off to the office you had become so familiar with. 

You had been more cautious in your visits than the first time you showed up unannounced, but truly not that much. If anything, it was probably only a matter of time before you were actually caught together, and it honestly kind of turned you on. You had barely reached your third knock on the door before it swung open before you.

Hands pulled you inside by the waist, closing the door behind you and pushing you up against it in seconds, lips assaulting yours and hands feeling blindly at your breasts as you whimpered slightly at the sudden contact. A little surprised at his eagerness--not so much the roughness, that was more than anticipated--you wondered who had pissed him off this time. It was when he bit down on your lower lip so hard you cried out into his mouth that you pulled away to look at him. Thin brows knitted and lips already reddened and glistening from the forceful kiss, he seemed more vexed than normal. 

"Tough day?" You inquired, and he only leaned in to continue his rampage on your body, mumbling a terse ' _Shut up_ ' against your lips and searching for your tongue once again. Hand dipping between your legs roughly, he let out a rather dramatic (for him, anyway) exhale of annoyance at the realization you weren't kissing him back just yet, still waiting for an answer.

"That fucking freak gets under my skin," he conceded, referring to his earlier visit with Eren presumably. "How can you stand to be around him?" He continued, murmuring into your neck now as your fingers glided through his hair.

"Who, Yeager? He's harmless," you reassured. Levi had always been tough on Eren, but never out of true malice, at least that's what you assumed, but you remembered how he had come down especially hard on him that night he had caught you all at the tavern. His teeth grazed over your jugular uncomfortably, sucking softly at random intervals, clearly not wanting to discuss the matter further. You weren't sure exactly why, maybe it was a natural product of having been so intimate so frequently with a man you were starting to realize you knew very little about, but you wanted to hear more. You knew he wasn't one to share what was on his mind very much and despite his obvious reluctance, you saw that crack in the proverbial doorway and decided to stick your foot in. 

"What else?" you asked into his temple, allowing yourself to be manipulated with his hands but not returning the favor as you traced absentmindedly along his scalp, practically feeling him roll his eyes without even seeing them. 

"Goddamn MP's at our throats, today's recruitment effort went to shit," he spoke, lips moving against your skin with each word and hands traveling in frustration along your sensitive areas, trying to elicit a reaction from you. "And defiant brats like you who won't fucking cooperate," he huffed, slapping the side of your thigh confrontationally, clearly aggravated with your stalling. 

Satisfied for now with him at least divulging that information, you joined your lips with his, an act he responded to a little too forcefully, teeth momentarily clashing against yours in the frenzy. Never breaking the kiss and keeping a tight hold on your waist, you were peeled off the door, turned, and walked backward into his office, arms blindly feeling behind you as your heavy steps and ragged exhales filled the air. The back of your thighs tensing at the cool wood of his desk, it was seconds before powerful hands hoisted you onto the surface and parted your legs with his warm body, your own hands preoccupied with tugging at his shirt.

"No, yours-" Levi indicated quickly in reference to your clothes, pulling away to strip the fabric over his arms and you followed suit, barely having your pants fully off both feet before forceful fingers slipped down your underwear and into your wet cunt.

"Ah--fuck, Levi-" You gasped at the sudden intrusion, his hardening erection pressing up against your thigh as he almost savagely twisted and pumped his fingers in and out of your entrance as if to gauge its preparedness for him. His hot breath dancing on your shoulder from his position with his head in the crook of your neck, it was clear he wasn't particularly concerned with your pleasure at that moment, as you squirmed away from his touch sending ripples of stinging pain through your sensitive walls. It honestly hurt like a bitch, but it was over before you knew it, digits slipping out with a squelch and slipping your panties to the side, his length finally shoving into where his fingers once were with incredible force.

You were lurched backward from the vigor of his thrust, only held to the edge of the desk where you sat by his grip on your hips, and let out a small cry as he pulled out all the way briefly before slamming back into you, grunting in almost angry exertion. You threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself, and legs around his waist, feeling the sweat already beginning to form on his solid frame as he rammed his hips against yours, cock viciously rubbing against the thin skin inside you. 

"Levi--Jesus Christ..." You panted, and his fingers only dug into the flesh of your hips and ass even more, the friction from his pumps sending your lower half into spasms.

"Too much?" He asked between breaths, but mostly mocked. "Fucking take it," he grunted into your shoulder before biting into it harshly, a yelp escaping your lips as a result. The sound of skin slapping against skin and the soft creak of the desk rocking underneath you reverberated through the room, and you smirked at the idea of whoever might be unfortunate enough to pass by his office undoubtedly being able to hear it too.

Although what transpired between you and the captain was nothing serious, purely carnal, you couldn't help but privately find a sense of gratification that should someone hear the sound of you two fucking like animals, that they'd know someone else had Levi like this, and no one else. Well, you had no way of knowing if he had anyone else, but with the frequency you both had been going at it, it would require a surprising amount of stamina, even for him. You knew it shouldn't matter to you, and you had no right to be even a little possessive over him, but the feeling was already rooted in you by now. You were pulled from your thoughts when a hand reached up your back and pulled your head back by the strands on your scalp, stifling a hiss of pain.

"What, quiet now, cadet?" He spoke into your neck as your head was tilted all the way back into his grasp, twisting your face in slight torment. "You're always such a noisy little brat, don't tell me I broke you," he teased, grinning against the exposed skin, his thrusts as relentless as ever. 

"Don't give up on me now, Y/N," Levi threatened, his rams into your already aching cunt becoming sloppier, signaling he was close. "I know, shit- I know you can fucking take it," the words escaping his lips in short bursts, like he was unraveling.

A swell of indignation bloomed inside of you, and as your body began to hit a wall of pleasure and pain, you suddenly fumed at his taunts. 

"Bastard," you seethed, "fuck me harder." Danger danced in his eyes, even in the low light.

With one swift push, your back hit the desk, and your legs unraveled from his waist as a salacious hand wrapped around your throat, deciding to hold your center of gravity from there of all places. Feeling the air escape your lips and blood rush to your head, a stifled choke came from your throat as he used the hold on you to shift your entire frame down a peg, your ass down hanging off the edge of the desk and allowing him a better angle to continue his near ferocious pace.

The sensation was overwhelming, thrusts daring to split you apart as the sound of snarls and groans flooded your ears before a final push and hand at your clit sent you both over the edge, the added stimulation giving you all the permission necessary to reach your climaxes. Your orgasm rattled through you; it was more severe, more demanding than usual, as if the tax on your body from his aggression paid off from having your own indulgence neglected so much in the process. A bead of sweat dropped from a dark stand of his hair onto your rising chest, and the two of you held the position for a few moments as he regained his composure, hand slowly unwrapping from your neck.

"Christ, Captain," you exhaled, orgasm beginning to fade away as your hands went to wipe at your face. "Remind me to bring Eren around you more often," you jested with a hoarse chuckle.

He rolled his eyes and pulled out of you with a soft squelch, the faint sound of something dripping below you onto the ground reaching your ears and you lowered yourself to the ground tentatively, feeling that same substance trickle down your leg. "That's...that's okay, right?" you asked, hoping he'd catch your drift.

Wiping the sweat from his glistening chest and arms with a loose towel he'd now started to keep in his office, he looked you up and down, regarding your nervous disposition, and then down at the droplets of liquid barely visible against the stone floor. 

"It's a bit late for that question now, cadet," he said simply, eyes glued to the floor, and your heart lurched for a second. "But yeah, it should be fine. Scouts have been fucking like rabbits for years, and we haven't incurred a single pregnancy. Must be the stress levels on the body."

Smiling to yourself at how he spoke of pregnancy as if it was an affliction, which to be fair he wasn't wrong about, you exhaled in relief. Still, you couldn't help but let your mind wander at his words. Scouts, fucking like rabbits, for years. Did that include him? Who else has he been fucking? You chewed at your lip.

"Doing it again, L/N," he commented, running the towel through his raven locks. You had grown to hate how he could tell exactly when your mind was racing.

"So, um," Keep it casual, you thought to yourself. "Who else have you--you know, been with?" He stopped his quick clean up, eyes locking with yours and you gulped. Shit, you knew that was a step too far, it was better to not have asked.

"What, you attached now or something?" He tsk'd and tossed the towel back to its resting spot on the hook near the desk.

"No! I was just curious--"

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with. Besides," he was back in front of you, a hand reaching up to play with a now dampened strand of hair, almost disapprovingly at the mess he had caused, "you keep me pretty fucking worn out."

You sighed and went to gather your discarded clothes, comfortable enough at the moment with his answer. You didn't particularly care about his past experiences, I mean--how else could he have learned to fuck like that? However, the thought that he could be with someone else at the same time as you made your blood boil a bit, but his response indicated that was not the case, and that was all you needed to hear. Wiping the hair that was clinging to your face away and stepping back into your pants, his next question caught you off guard.

"You and Kirstein?" 

Turning back to look at him, you shook your head vigorously. "No, just when he came onto me at the bar." His eyes studied you, not showing any emotion, and you shrugged, resuming your self-dress. Chuckling to yourself, you substantiated your claim. "To be honest, he's a bit like me. He probably only did it because he was drunk--he doesn't even look me in the eye normally."

"So, Yeager then?"

"Nope. Never, we're just friends." Now fully dressed, you grabbed the towel from its resting place and ran it over your own scalp. "Why, Captain? Attached or something?" You asked with a smirk.

He didn't answer immediately, only shooting you a glare that he was already miles beyond you, internally deliberating something you desperately wished he would let you in on. Having gotten the response you guessed he was looking for, he finally did. "You wish, cadet. I just hate the thought of sharing with that little monster." 

With a knowing gaze, you pulled him into a kiss. He shied away briefly, a bit uncomfortable with intimacy lacking a sexual context, but allowed it as you were only saying goodbye. "I hope tomorrow's not as bad, Captain. 'Night," you said, opening the door to leave, your limbs still a bit shaky. He only watched you as you retreated back to your room, exhausted.

...

"Yo, pass me that," Eren exhaled, eyes focused down on the task in front of him, arm outstretched with a beckoning open palm.

"You can't be serious, it's literally right there," you responded. Your hands were full of dishes stacked beyond your head, any slight disturbance and you could count on toppling over. Eren bent over the sink, one hand in soapy water, the other reaching blindly for the dishrag a few inches from his fingers.

"Y/N, I'm _literally_ so serious right now." He said contemptuously.

Finally setting the tower of clay plates down on their desired surface, you took a deep breath and studied the movement, ready to catch any vagabonds. Thankfully, they all stood their ground. Turning back to the man behind you, you couldn't believe his arm was still out, waiting for assistance.

"There," you huffed, stalking over to throw the rag into his open hand. "Fucking brat." The two of you were playfully antagonistic more often than not at this point, the extra duties meaning more time to notice each other's weak spots and the general displeasure with the mind-numbing work meaning shortened tempers. It was never serious though, you had no reason to genuinely be upset with one another. After all, it was a combined effort that got you both here in the first place. 

"Really?" He looked you up and down, raised eyebrows wiggling at you.

"What?"

"Brat? What are you, the captain now?" His words had you stumped for a half-second, and you cursed yourself internally at the slip-up. Pretty embarrassing, catching on to Levi's lingo, but how could you avoid it? You spent at least a bit of every day with him, hearing his usual taunts in your ear, you couldn't help but have them absorb into your subconscious. 

You shrugged, playing it off. "What! You are one. I have shit to do too, you know. Hurry up so we can get out of here." Kitchen work was by far one of your least favorite cleaning activities, second only to stable work.

"He's rubbing off on you, you know," Eren continued, voice a bit quieter now.

Your eyes widened, but you didn't react otherwise, focusing on drying the dishes he handed to you. "What are you talking about?"

"C'mon, Y/N," he huffed, pulling away from the sink to look at you, hand on his hip. "You know what I'm talking about, don't act like you don't."

You turned to him at lightning speed. There was no way. Blinking at him, you did your best to feign ignorance, about to insist when he cut you off to continue.

"Don't worry, I haven't told anyone." He studied your reaction, clearly a bit exasperated that you wouldn't just own up already. 

"I..." You trailed off, incredulous. Sure, that first night where he'd found you at the office you didn't necessarily give a stellar performance, but why would he pretend to go along with it? Maybe the two of you were close enough yet for him to bring it up. Gauging by the stare he was giving you, it was clear that he was waiting for you to cut the shit. God, you hated this, hated that you had to rely on someone else now to keep it under wraps. At least he said he hadn't told anyone. Taking a deep breath, you conceded. "How did you know?"

"I didn't at first," he started to explain, a bit relieved you weren't playing dumb anymore. "I believed you when you made up some shit about Hanji, but then I ran into her a little later." Shit, of course. A loose end you never tied up, one you should have never even made to begin with.

"Even then though, I figured I misunderstood you or something. But then at the inn, I...sorta heard you two," He spoke nervously, even though he really had no reason to be.

You, however, were horrified. Blood rushing to your face in embarrassment, you tried your hardest to not relive the memory of the sound of drool dribbling down your chin as your captain was face fucking you, the sound of your moans and yelps as he pounded into you, you begging Levi to cum on your face...Jesus, how much did he hear?

"Nothing crazy," he seemed to answer your silent questions. "Just enough to know."

"God, Eren, you can't tell anyone, okay?"

"I haven't--"

"No! I'm saying you can't tell anyone--ever," you insisted. "If anyone else finds out we could be in serious trouble; I could be expelled from the survey corps, or something could happen to him and his position--" Your words caught in your throat; why did it feel like you were suddenly on the verge of tears?

"I know, Y/N/. Seriously, I do!" He took you by the shoulders, seemingly anticipating your impending panic and trying to relay as much sincerity as possible. "I mean, it is a pretty significant abuse of power...but it's none of my business...for now, you know?"

You looked up at him with tears threatening to well, but you held them back. "It's not like that, I swear."

He took a deep inhale and looked you in the eyes, not phased by your words. "Just...be careful, okay? I know it' none of my business, but promise me you'll be careful." He faltered. "With him, I mean."

You looked into his bright water-colored eyes. "I will. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the kudos and comments! It means a lot, and I think I'm going to continue this story until it reaches a natural conclusion/until I run out of ideas lol. It's really just smut-oriented so nothing crazy story-wise, u know
> 
> Once again any and all feedback helps and thanks again! <3
> 
> This story is also on wattpad for those who prefer that! https://www.wattpad.com/story/253615259-restraint-levi-ackerman-x-reader-shameless-nsfw


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faced with this new knowledge, Y/N is forced to contemplate future outcomes of her involvement with the captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dubcon yet again, alcohol, aggression, discussion of age gap

To say that Levi was annoyed was an understatement. Glancing at the window from his desk for the fourth time that night, the moon's position no longer visible as the faint glow on the grounds outside signaled it had long passed midnight, it became clear that if you hadn't come by now, you wouldn't be coming at all. Letting out an exhale of exasperation, he stretched his strained neck muscles, regarding the paperwork he'd been busying himself with for the last few hours while awaiting your nightly arrival. Surely, he had thought to himself, the extra duties he'd assigned couldn't be taking this long.

The routine you'd both fallen into had been broken tonight, and while the captain was typically a man of imperturbable and stoic composure, it didn't always mean patience came easily. The needs he'd become accustomed to fulfilling on a daily basis weren't quieted by the fact that it had only been a single day since you'd last seen each other, when he'd been particularly eager to get his hands on you, having been especially aggravated by the world around him. Internally reflecting on the short conversation you'd initiated on sexual history following your last encounter, he wondered if maybe he'd scared you off.

 _She's young_ , he brooded. _You know better_.

Just because you were of age didn't mean he wasn't aware of the often emotionally vulnerable state that came with that period of one's life. He knew that sex is a powerful instrument, at your age especially, often forming unspoken bonds and attachments that otherwise wouldn't exist, despite one's best efforts to suppress them. Attraction was one thing, imagined fantasies and lust towards another person that lives only in one's mind, but sex--good sex, on a regular basis not to mention, was tangible, consuming, and for many young people, easily confused with passion. 

Unfortunately for Levi, he knew from that first night at that inn that this passion was what you really sought, deep down. Why else would things have unfolded between you the way they did? Sex could be found all around you, there were plenty of other equally as horny and frustrated soldiers that wouldn't need much convincing, yet you'd largely kept your distance. 

Before all of this, all he knew of you was that you were dedicated, followed orders, and kept your distance, but never really pushed yourself. He noticed how you shied away from conflict unlike some of your more explosive comrades, a not uncommon disposition among the ranks due to the high stress of the job, often resulting in off-duty brawls and emotional outbursts. You seemed to him to be defined by your inner world, restrained by whatever swam around in your head, and although he knew he might be projecting, he found himself privately relating to that. It's why he was so surprised, and admittedly pretty perturbed, to find you out alone off grounds that one night, intentionally putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of, piss-drunk, and fighting him like a child. 

He had been so furious with you, but didn't really know why, it's not as if you owed him anything more than any other soldier. And then of course, he reflected, when you had kissed him, begged him, squirmed against him-- _confided in him_ , however sparingly, he felt somewhat...sorry for you. Sorry for you in a way he was never allowed to feel towards himself. He saw that you weren't immune to the same shortcomings of your peers, just forbade yourself from indulging in them, and were eventually in desperate need of release. You exposed a sentiment to him that he couldn't help but see part of himself in, affirming his earlier thoughts on you, and then practically begged him to help alleviate that pain, tears in your eyes. What option did he have? He had tried to justify to himself. Levi would never admit it, but part of him knew once he put his hands on you, he really had no intention of it being a one-time affair. 

Following those nights, when it became clear that you wanted to exploit your shared chemistry to the fullest as well, he didn't say no. The internal scream of his better judgement quieted a bit more every time your hands traveled to his belt, and your more than willing disposition revived a repressed, private part of his ego that wanted to be that release for you. He wanted to overwhelm and pillage you, dismantle and invade you, push your limits, rip you away from your inner world, all the while knowing it would eventually risk an intimacy and closeness you wouldn't be prepared for. As a result, he knew the bigger part of that ego was selfish and had to reconcile with it every time he found himself slamming into you, making you look him in the eyes as you spilled the words he wanted to hear, and having you cum and spasm around his cock in the same office that was meant to uphold the authority of his position.

Levi knew this wouldn't end well, and suspected you might know that too. Either you'd begin to expect an emotional vulnerability from him he knew he couldn't provide, or you'd both be found out somehow. The better and wiser part of him hoped you hadn't shown up tonight because you'd found someone else to spend it with, someone closer to your age who could better communicate and require no risk from you-- _even if it meant it could very well be that little monster she's befriended,_ he thought, gritting his teeth. That way, he could toss all of this unnecessary deliberation to the wind, go back to normal, and stop interfering with this girl's life.

He sighed, looking around the empty, dimly lit room, fingers drumming on the desk. Levi could tell himself all he wanted how that first night, he'd only been helping you gain some release, out of some random spur of empathy for the reserved cadet who knew what it was like to restrain themselves all the time. He could tell himself that every other night since then he'd only left you with marks on your skin, spit spuming from your lips, and cum dripping out or off of you for your benefit. That he himself got nothing out of hearing the otherwise composed and reserved girl cry out in pain or pleasure, shamelessly begging to cum on his cock. Yeah, deep down--he knew otherwise.

 _You really are a selfish bastard_ , he thought to himself. He concluded that if he truly cared, he would never set you up for failure like this, but honestly--it didn't bother him as much as he knew it should. That is of course, as long as you could keep giving each other what you wanted for a little while longer--as long as you kept coming back. Yet Levi sat at his desk, late into the night, alone. Irritated. 

"Fuck it." He muttered under his breath, standing up from the desk, fishing a master key from one of the drawers, and stalking out of his office to the cadet wing.

...

Chewing at your lip, the small stone room of your quarters seemed to close in on you as you paced tight circles. You couldn't sleep, figuring getting out some nervous energy would help, but it only seemed to rile you up more. Only a few hours ago, Eren had professed his knowledge of your involvement with Levi, promising he'd keep it to himself. Still though, the burden of his confession weighed on you more than you could have anticipated. _How could I have been so stupid to think no one would have noticed? I've gotten too confident, too cocky,_ you cursed yourself, recalling your earlier conversation with him.

" _How do you know no one else knows?_ " You had demanded in the kitchen. Eren explained how he waited until the other boys that night at the inn had fallen asleep, which hadn't taken long considering the inebriation, and come to the captain's room himself. Apparently, he wanted to apologize in person before having to face the consequences the next morning and almost came in before he heard muffled noises of ' _...well, definitely not sleep_ ,' as he had put it. Following that, after cracking the door to the girls' room and glimpsing a passed out Mikasa and Sasha, he finally put two and two together.

That had quieted your nerves at the time, after all, that would make sense. Had it been Sasha, Jean, or Connie, you could have counted on the information already spreading like wildfire at this point. When the two of you had finished discussing the issue, with you promising once again to not let it get out of hand and him promising his silence, you both finished your chores quietly. It broke your heart as Eren made half-hearted attempts at conversation that you couldn't bear to reciprocate, a new kind of guilt burdening you knowing that this secret would now likely color your friendship with him going forward. 

Sighing, you took a seat on the cot of your room. You'd decided to forgo the trip to your captain's tonight following the kitchen work, you were a bit preoccupied now despite the pattern you'd established with him at this point. Although you wanted to see him more than ever right now, get the stress fucked out of you, and finally go to sleep, the reality of the consequences you'd face should you be caught were starting to hit you. Even though you knew it was late, he'd probably still be up, and no one would see you just like almost every other time, Eren had made an impact on you. Part of your promise to him was to at least minimize the chances of being found out, and you couldn't help but agree, even though you knew you would probably fold and make the trip over there tonight anyway.

Still, though, something was keeping you from walking out the door. You knew you should inform him of what Eren told you as soon as possible, as it was important not just to you but him as well, yet the thought that it could ruin things was depressing as all hell. What if he took that as a sign to stop seeing each other? That wasn't totally unlikely, he didn't seem like the type of man to trust another uninvolved person to keep this under wraps. Especially not Eren. 

Not to mention, what if he blamed you? What if he didn't believe you, or god forbid thought you had told Eren yourself? While you hope you'd both built some reasonable trust within each other by this point to keep a secret, you had to recognize he was a suspicious person. It's not like you could blame him, after all, you were one too. 

You had to keep this from him, you concluded. But Christ were you fucking nervous about it. Reaching under your cot, you found the flask of dark liquid you kept--just for emergencies. It was fucking disgusting, a haphazard mix of random alcohols you'd acquired when the opportunity presented itself, usually from other cadets or the canteens on rare occasions, but now mostly provided by Levi's supply--another habit he enabled. It was a bit desperate looking, but it wasn't like you could go out to town whenever you wanted and buy some yourself. Besides, you were an anxious soul, if it helps--it helps, right? 

Frowning down at the bottle, you started to really detest yourself. Control was slipping from you these past few weeks, the casual drinking, sex, and secret-keeping having infiltrated your everyday life. Of course, it felt extremely pleasurable and exciting, especially considering these were all now provided by Levi, and it allowed you to show more of yourself, it gave you the reprieve from the rigorous trainings, soul-crushing missions, racing thoughts and lonely bed you'd grown accustomed to in your time as a scout--yet you couldn't help but wonder if this was worth the consequences materializing on the horizon. And yet here you were, more than ready to drown it all out.

This couldn't end well for you, you realized. Levi was older, more experienced, and unburdened by the impulsive, fearful, and emotionally immature states you'd find yourself in more often than you wanted to admit. The risk, secrecy, and delicate power imbalance of your entanglement with him served as an irresistible escape from the grief drenched and often comfortless reality you shared as scouts, and you knew that. It gave you something else to worry about, something far more immediately rewarding for the gamble. Eventually, if it hasn't happened already, you'd be attached. Levi could get away with this kind of casual arrangement--you couldn't. You blinked at the bottle.

Tossing it back, you closed your eyes, pinching your nose as it burned its way down your throat. The sooner you could get it down, the sooner it would be over with, and the sooner you'd start to feel lighter. Suppressing a gag, you held that position until it had emptied itself and you unlatched, wiping your mouth in disgust. Now, to wait.

Dropping back into the bed, you scooted yourself lazily out of your pants, deciding to keep just the nightshirt for now, chilly night air raising hairs on your thighs. Getting yourself more comfortable on the single bed, not yet bothering to get under the covers, your mind finally started to calm down just a bit, warmth beginning to swim through your veins. You comforted yourself with the thought that it would take full effect in another half hour or so, you could relax, be carried away by a liquor-induced sleep, and deal with this tomorrow. 

Nonetheless, thoughts of Levi flashed through your mind, and you started to wish you had just sucked it up and gone to see him anyway. It had only been a day since you'd last had sex, but a slight buzzing between your legs indicated your cunt was as frustrated as you were, the tension from the events of this evening needing release. Sighing to yourself, you slipped a hand down to assess the damage. 

It was only minutes before you found a good rhythm, admittedly having to work yourself a bit to wetness at first, but eventually reaching a point where your fingers could glide around easily over the swollen nub. Soft exhales filled the air as you shut your eyes, nipples hardening against your nightshirt as legs spread and your mind clouded with memories of his touch, his words, all of it. 

' _Fucking take it_ ,' he had breathed in your ear the night before. You exhaled, a shiver running through you at the memory, careful to keep quiet, and upped your pace, working towards your peak. Relief was so close, a private, dirty moment of self-indulgence that you were all too familiar with before Levi. You focused on the thought of his gravelly, baritone voice in your ear, the words he used to both taunt and coax your orgasms out of you, excitement building at the memories that filled your mind.

' _Noisy little brat_.'

' _Does that feel good, cadet?_ '

' _Tell me how good it feels._ '

' _So wet for me, huh?_ '

Fuck, you were close. Almost there.

' _Beg._ '

' _Touch yourself, slut._ '

' _Damn it, Y/N, cum on my fucking cock._ ' 

"Cadet." A husky voice tore you out of your thoughts.

You all but screamed. Eyes snapping open and hand retreating at lightning speed, you propped yourself up to find Levi standing halfway through your door, the low light from the hallway behind outlining him from where he stood with one foot in the room. Jaw dropping open, heat rushed to your face, the embarrassment snapping you back to reality as he took another step forward, closing the door behind him. You hadn't even heard him come in--how long had he been standing there?

"Oh my fucking god, Captain," you huffed, dropping back to cover your face with your hands as he approached you. "Do you not know how to knock?"

"Sorry to interrupt," he said simply, taking a seat at the foot of your bed, chuckling to himself. You just laid there, in pieces. It was so late you assumed he would carry on his night without you some other way, yet here he was. He didn't seem particularly disturbed by what he just saw, just amused at your reaction. "It looked like you were enjoying yourself." 

"What? No," you lied. "I was about to go to bed."

"I can see that." Levi took a quick glance around the dark room as you sat up on your elbows again. "I was thinking of waiting to see you finish yourself off, but I'm a bit impatient."

"I don't even know what you're talking about," you muttered, avoiding his gaze. There was no point, you knew he'd seen you clear as day from the position the door faced the bed, but you weren't about to admit to anything. It wasn't the first time Levi had come to your room late at night like this, but only for the handful of times the office wasn't an option for whatever reason, and always explicitly anticipated, unlike now. Christ, this was fucking humiliating.

"Sure you do," he turned to you now, a finger absentmindedly and slowly tracing nonsense into along the exposed leg, sending a shiver through you out in every direction from the point of contact. His next words were low as if to be comforting, but with a whisper of mischief and mockery in his tone that you'd become more than familiar with. "Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Seriously, I don't-"

"Show me."

Your eyes widened for a moment, then fluttered as you stifled an awkward laugh. His hand traveling up the side of your thigh, eyes following the movement as he gave it a light squeeze, his composure confirming that he was serious. 

"Captain, I don't really..."

"I wasn't asking, cadet," a small smirk graced his lips. He started to sit back against the stone wall that bordered the foot of your bed, shifting his legs to rest beside yours as you now faced each other, sharing the narrow space. An indolent hand slid over his bulge, his head tilted to the side with a curious look as he studied you. "Ah, I see. You need some encouragement."

"No! I'm-...it's fine," You blurted out and he raised a brow at you. Why were you so embarrassed now? It's nothing you haven't seen before, not to mention the same could be said for him considering what he just walked in on. Still, though, shame burned in your cheeks at his request despite your knowledge by this point that he liked to watch you, to see your most private areas exposed and your composure squirm as he pushed at your limits.

Taking a deep inhale, you shifted your weight onto a single elbow and spread your legs slowly, nightshirt crinkling up at your thighs. Facing each from opposite sides of the bed, Levi's position sitting up allowed him to lock his eyes on you from above, sending a wave of red-hot abashment through you. An unsteady hand crept down into your underwear and began feeling around the folds, still wet and buzzing from your previous unfinished attempt.

The hand resting on his thigh lifted a finger and pointed it to the side, his gaze never breaking from yours, signaling you to move the fabric. Of course, he wanted the full view. You shivered at the eye contact, the low glow from the moon seeping through your window illuminating his sharp features. 

Nothing new, you reassured yourself. Levi wanted you as much as you wanted him, right? Not to mention, your arrangement with him was one of pure lust and occasional perversion. You served as sexual outlets for each other, and you realized he was actually right just now--there was no shame between the two of you, not in this context anyway. Wasn't that the whole point? Of risking a secret affair like this, casting aside all restraint, reaching across the line of command for some moments of stolen pleasure? The lust-drenched gaze and the growing tent of his pants that you peered up at told you you were spot on. _Fuck it._

Thankfully, liquid courage hit you like a truck, and it wasn't long before you were putting on a fucking show. Rolling your hips up into your hand, soft whines escaping your lips, you know you had certainly secured his attention, despite breaking the eye contact to throw your head back into the pillow. Stealing glances at him, you realized you hadn't even noticed him undo his belt and pants, hard cock freed and wielded with a lazy slender hand. The sight of him like that, watching you watch him...it was a new kind of sensuality altogether. You would never admit it to his face, but you actually enjoyed this quite a bit, and it reminded you of the other times you'd found yourself stripping for him in one way or another.

"I'm close, Captain," you breathed out, and he locked eyes with you again.

"Don't stop," he encouraged, his own movements quickening. "Tell me when."

"No, I'm already--" You couldn't help it, the building pleasure about to finally boil over, thighs tensing as you rubbed furious circles over the sensitive nub.

The impending relief had just begun to root itself in you before it was ripped away, feeling your hand roughly batted away by his, and you cried out at the cruel denial, clit twitching in desperate dissent. It was foolish to think he'd actually let you finish without him anyway.

"Fuck!" You whined, already feeling his hands pulling at your hips, moving you into position as he sat up between your thighs. "I swear, I think you hate me sometimes," you mumbled. You weren't really even joking, to be honest, you thought you'd at least get one climax out in exchange for exposing yourself so entirely.

"Hm," Levi murmured dismissively, the warmth of his frame leaning into you as he pulled you closer, sharp nose and soft lips trailing along your neck and collarbones. "I waited for you earlier, you know."

Of course, you should have realized this was his form of retribution. You went for his shirt as he took his time meandering along your body, but allowed you to impatiently pull the fabric over him. He may have waited for you, but you were going on two ruined orgasms--you wanted more, now--and pulled him back to you, clawing at his exposed back. Lips pressed into your neck as a warm hand up slipped your shirt, grasping at the flesh of your breasts and gently taking a peaked nipple between his fingers, administering a soft brush over the sensitive nub before suddenly pinching it--harder than you would've liked. Your eyes twisted shut and you bit your lip to suppress the yelp of pain, feeling his lips travel up to your jaw where his teeth grazed threateningly over the skin.

You heard a slight sniff, and he pulled away to look you in the face, hovering above you, nipple still held captive between his fingers, like he was drawing out the sting for as long as possible. He raised a brow, looking at your distressed expression. "You've been drinking?" You nodded, gritting your teeth still at the discomfort.

"Good. Get on top." He ordered, and it was moments before he had pulled you to straddle his chest as he took your previous position on the cot, wasting no time in yanking the nightshirt over your head as you situated yourself. Straight to business I guess, you thought to yourself. It was no secret to him that you were much springier and elastic after a few drinks, allowing you to ride him more confidently despite inevitably spending the next day suppressing a waddle. 

Hands resumed their place on your hips and guided you over him, sending a shiver through you as the head of his erection trailed across your folds, searching for your center. You were about to reach a hand down to guide it before he suddenly slammed you down on him, filling you completely with one thrust easily thanks to your near-orgasm wetness, and you almost flung forward, hands slapping against the wall behind the bed to steady yourself. 

"Fuck--" you breathed out at the sudden intrusion, and the room spun for a moment as the warmth coursing through your veins really started to take hold, muscles relaxed yet invigorated. Thank god for alcohol, you thought, starting to roll your hips a bit against his, getting a feel of his presence prodding into your deepest area, stoking the fire once again. A hand from your hip reached around to smack your ass before gripping the flesh roughly, helping to pull you back down onto him with every roll of your hips, and a stifled moan came from your throat.

You looked down at him finally, hands still on the wall for balance, exposed breasts situated right above his face. However, he was paying them no mind for now, looking through hooded lids down at your pussy rocking against him, the deepening and undeepening of the fold where your hip met your thighs as they oscillated, your faint pants of exertion matching the pace of your movements as your cunt squeezed and contracted around his erection, and he nearly had to stifle a groan himself. Once again, you were watching him watch you, and satisfaction swelled in your throat.

"Sit back," he ordered, hands moving down along your thighs, and you looked down on inquisitively. Complying, you slowly removed your hands from the wall, attempting to continue your movements without the stabilization when he spread your thighs wider, holding them open with forceful hands. Almost throwing you off your rhythm and sudden pain stinging your inner thighs at the added tension they were now under, a groan left your throat but he didn't react, watching his length disappear inside of you as you bobbed on top of him.

"Shit-," your captain muttered, hands moving up your thighs suddenly all the way to your neck, reaching around to grab the hair by the nape and bringing you almost tumbling down towards him. The wind fled your lungs as your forehead was now pressed against his, hard pants mixing together as he thrust back up into you, your clit now grinding against his lower stomach from this angle and the pleasure shot through you, sending a cry from your lips. He noticed. "Yeah? Does that feel good, cadet?"

Barely able to keep up the pace at this point, let alone respond just yet, you nodded fervently. The hold on your hair tightened and you hissed into his mouth, hovering above his lips as he held you against him, keeping your face inches from his as he watched you chase your orgasm.

"Look at you, you love this," Levi taunted, gravelly voice reverberating from how close he was to your face. "You like fucking yourself on my cock?" _Oh my god._

"God--yes, fuck," you finally gasped, and he took your lower lip between his teeth, clamping down and grazing the soft flesh before releasing it. The hold on your head finally moved you from the position above him, pulling you down into him instead so that you were no longer leaning down, now pressed squarely into his chest with your face in his neck, and his in yours. Lifting his hips and bending his knees, he started to fuck you from underneath, matching your pace effortlessly as you continued rocking against him, the hood of your clit caught in the close contact and rubbing up against him as well, and that was nearly it for you.

"Shit!" you couldn't help but cry out, a hand shooting back to the wall to keep yourself from being practically lurched into it as he snapped his hips up into you, taking over most of the rhythm. "I'm--I'm gonna cum-"

A disapproving palm collided with your backside at your words, immediately eliciting a small wail from you, realization dawning on you. "God!" you whined in exasperation, you couldn't take much more. "Fuck-- Captain, please, you're gonna make me cum," the words escaping you in short bursts. The concern for silence had left you almost entirely at this point, and you honestly couldn't care less. 

"No-- again."

You could have literally bit him at that moment; he was slamming relentlessly up into you, skin slapping against skin as his impossibly hard cock rubbed unsympathetically against your inner walls, burying himself in you over and over, and you were not even seconds away from your peak. He smacked your ass again. 

"Please, Captain! Fuck--please let me cum, Levi--" Your shaky words almost slurred at the overwhelming conditions and you heard a low groan in your ear, almost there. 

"Yeah? You like taking this fucking cock?" He practically growled in your ear, littering spanks on your ass and thigh. "Say it, cadet," he spat.

"Oh God, it feels so good, Levi-- _you_ make me feel so fucking- ah--good, fuck, Captain--I'm--"

Gasping as you felt your pussy spasm and clamp around him, your orgasm surged through you, pleasure liquefying whatever strength you had left and a completely shameless wanton moan traveling up from the pit of your stomach into both the pillow and his ear.

"God fucking damn it, Y/N," he cursed, the hand at your hair releasing you to place a hold on either side of your hips, and started thrusting at a savage pace to catch up to your peak, effectively fucking you through your climax at the same time. Snapping his hips up one last time deeply inside you, a groan of pleasure and exertion left him, and you felt his thick cock twitch inside you. He held your hips in that position for a few moments, the sound of both your soft pants filling the air, sweaty bodies still pressed against each other.

You were like putty in his hold, melting down into him as the aftershocks of your climax settled down. Holy fuck, you thought to yourself. Still a bit drunk and certainly fucking exhausted, your eyes were about to flutter shut before he finally released his grip and pulled out of you, gently rubbing the flesh of your thigh to prompt you off of him. With the little remaining strength left, you pushed yourself off, rolling over into the small space between him and the wall as he turned and shifted away to accommodate you, standing and pulling his pants back up. He stood for a few moments, taking his time to redo his belt and pull his shirt back on before turning to look at you, still naked on your side with your eyes closed, breathing softly. 

_It was pretty late for this_ , he thought to himself, remembering stupidly how not everyone else can stay up effortlessly all night, unlike how he often did. Not to mention you had been drinking. 

_Just leave already_. Levi searched for movement in you, for any indication you were still awake. 

He sighed to himself, reaching over to gently lift the blanket over you at the very least, a dull pang of guilt in his core as he regarded the sleeping girl before him, lips parted and hair a mess. Slipping out of your room, he finally left to return to his quarters. _Selfish bastard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surpriiiiise shawty, Levi POV is here
> 
> Got a random surge of inspo, so more coming soon! 
> 
> I cannot believe this has almost 3k reads now... :,,)


	6. Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader and Captain Levi get into a bit of a confrontation as the upcoming mission approaches.

Five more days. Five more days until the next mission would embark and your extra duties would be finished, free of this ridiculous demand on your time. Shoveling horse shit with a grimace, you cursed your existence with every swing, the three hours of sleep and dull residual hangover only fueling your suffering. You'd been grumbling at everyone all day, keeping your paper-thin patience at a healthy distance from your comrades for both of your sakes. Levi's visit the night before had somewhat alleviated your anxiety, which you were at least appreciative of, but at this moment you hated him with every inch of your body. You didn't expect special treatment for fucking him, but this was just overkill. 

"Five more days," you muttered, finally clearing one stable of filth and moving to the next one, taking a moment to look up at the moon as it shone down on you and Eren. Dropping a massive burlap sack of horse feed onto the dusty ground with a huff, he shook out his strained arms. 

"Yeah, I know," he spoke, exhaustion clearly setting in for him as well. "You done ignoring me now, or what?"

"Oh--I didn't mean to," You realized how you'd spent the last couple hours of extra work with him in near silence, not to mention avoiding him and everyone else all day. "I'm just tired, sorry. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

He looked you up and down almost disapprovingly, and appeared as if he wanted to ask something, but didn't. You shrugged, too fatigued to guess what was going through his mind and taking your shovel by the shaft to trudge over to the next stall. So fatigued even, that you thought you'd likely spend tonight alone.

"So, did you...tell the captain that I know, or anything?" He asked abruptly, and you raised a brow at him. 

"No, I wouldn't do that. Why?"

"I don't fucking know, Y/N. Sorry, I just..." He suddenly looked exasperated, like you weren't helping him say what he wanted to. "You just seem a bit all over the place."

You blinked at him. "And?"

"I'm just saying, if you need like...an excuse, or something, to get out of whatever going on with you two, you can use me. You can tell him that I know so you can't continue. I don't mind, really, it's no trouble-"

"Why the hell would I do that?" You snapped. Eren didn't know anything about you and Levi other than that you had slept together, and really only once for all he knew. Sleep deprived, head aching, overworked and exhausted, you really didn't understand what made him think he had the right to assume anything about the situation. You only realized how cruel you sounded when he frowned slightly, a little taken aback, but being polite was at the lowest of your priorities right now. "For the last time, everything's fine, stop thinking about it."

He stared at you, hands on his hips. "Fine, have it your way. If you get caught--no, _when_ you get caught, don't say I didn't warn you." 

"Whatever, Yeager." You dropped the shovel, having had enough. He wasn't wrong, the fear of being found out was on your mind more than you could admit, but the thought of giving up one of the few escapes afforded to you in this line of work was something you couldn't believe he was suggesting. He didn't understand--he couldn't. He had his friends, an unwavering sense of self, a resolve that kept him going every day, and powers that rendered him indispensable. Eren knew exactly what he wanted from life and had the drive to accomplish it, how _could_ he understand?

"I'm done with this. Report me if you want, but I can't stand in any more horse shit tonight."

Before you could give him a chance to respond, you stalked off back to the main building. The small glimmer of guilt for leaving your friend, if you could even call him that now, to finish the work alone was squashed by the immediate relief you felt for washing your hands of the situation, hopefully once and for all. Your friendship with him was a nice reprieve, but it was starting to seem more trouble than it was worth. 

After all, you had Levi, right? You didn't need another distraction, you told yourself, you could handle this on your own. It wasn't like you were attached or anything, you were smarter than that.

As long as you could keep yourself from needing Levi, or anybody, you'd be fine. Everything would be fine. 

...

"So, it looks like once he's mastered the tier formations, which is only a matter of days at this point, we'll be good to go." Hanji stood proudly across the small table, candlelight flickering in her goggle lenses.

Commander Erwin and Captain Levi sat in consideration before her, the larger man leaning on clasped hands in deliberation. With the mission less than a week away, all the risk and reward involved seem to hang on Eren's progress.

"We'll need a demonstration before we embark, but I have confidence that you'll get him to where he needs to be," the commander finally spoke. "We'll need as many feet on the ground as we can to protect him--Levi squad will take priority, of course."

His words were firmly spoken, but his glance towards the captain seemed to ask for confirmation, to which the raven-haired man returned an indifferent nod, sipping his tea. It wouldn't be the first time his soldiers were tasked with protecting the little monster, and it honestly bored him at this point. The success rate was high by now, and the upcoming mission was straightforward enough. Venture beyond the walls, construct an outpost with Eren's hardening abilities, deposit supplies, return to safety. Simple. Promising. 

Hanji grinned in satisfaction. "So that's it then! He's got a handle on pillars, flooring, rooting, and tomorrow I'll--"

A knock on the door cut her off, three heads turning to the source of the disturbance this late. 

_Interesting_. _Even at this hour_. Levi thought, sitting motionless and feeling puzzled eyes from the other superiors on him. "Come in."

The three of them watched as you waltzed unknowingly into a private meeting, muddy boots in hand and shirt untucked. "Hey, I figured you'd still be up--"

You froze in place with wide eyes. Levi could barely contain his amusement.

"Oh--" He watched as what he knew for certain to be a million and one thoughts zip through your mind as realization and embarrassment rendered you immobile. Thankfully, the daze was quickly snapped out of, and you shifted into a salute at lightning speed, boots dangling awkwardly behind your back. "I'm so sorry, Commander, I didn't realize, I'll come back later--"

"No worries, it happens, we're almost done here anyway," Hanji interjected, clearly a bit confused as well, but eager to move past the tension. She looked to Levi, waiting for him to address the cadet now practically vibrating with anxiety, as after all, it was his office she'd shown up at. 

"Anything to report?" Levi sipped at his beverage, watching you suppress what was likely a tsunami of panic. He was well aware of the circumstances, you had been a bit too casual with your entrance, raising some eyebrows from the two superiors that could easily put an end to your whole affair should suspicions arise. Still though, the part of his ego that loved to watch you squirm ignited at the sight of you, fizzling out the better part of him that knew he should probably be just as concerned. 

"Um," your eyes darted around nervously, "Just wanted to inform you that the extra duties--the uh, stable work for tonight is finished. That's all. Thank you." you went to bow out of the room before he shot out a hand, stalling the exit.

"Stay, cadet. We'll look over your duties for tomorrow once I'm done here."

You nodded, gulping as the attention of the others in the room returned to the captain, seemingly satisfied with the explanation, and resumed some light conversation about the mission. Exhaling with relief, you cursed yourself, thinking of Eren's words from before. _When_ you get caught, he had said. You hated to think he was right, imagining how many more unnatural encounters like this you could risk before arousing unwanted speculation. 

Once they'd officially concluded the meeting, you saluted as the Commander and Hanji exited, who returned curt nods of acknowledgment, leaving you alone in the office with Levi. His stare burned holes in you from his seat on the couch, expression as unreadable as ever. Was he upset with you? It's not like you could have known, you thought, biting the inside of your lip.

"I'll admit, I wasn't expecting you. I thought I'd worn you out enough last night," he mused, leaning forward to set his teacup on the table. You blinked, unsure if this was a condemnation or not before he rested a hand on his thigh, slightly cocking his head at you. "Come here."

Slight relief set in at knowing he wasn't disappointed, and you took weary steps in his direction, avoiding his eyes. Eren's words rang through your head, reminding you that at the end of the day, the burden of this whole involvement was on you. Levi's unconcerned attitude affirmed it, as if he knew he was above any repercussions. You'd be the one to pay for this. 

Reaching his personal space, you shuddered as a hand grazed over your outer thigh, pulling your frame closer between his spread legs where he was sat below you. You peered down, watching his sharp nose brush against the loose fabric of your untucked shirt and poke at your stomach, the other hand snaking up to hook two fingers under your belt, tugging gently at the resistance. 

"It's late..." 

"And yet, here you are," Levi murmured, nudging the shirt up and away, busying himself and tracing nonsense along your midsection. "And I know what you want..." 

Your eyes fluttered at the heat of his lips now pressed into the flesh of your stomach, sending a spark of desire out in all directions from the point of contact. That wonderful warmth quickly turned into a knot of apprehension when you realized how affectionate the action was, not inherently sexual, but tender. The feeling that it invoked in you emerged and echoed out from deep inside a well-suppressed cavern of longing you never let yourself explore, and as the older man's lower lip dragged along the soft skin, planting kisses as his hands squeezed at your thighs, you felt the control you promised yourself slip away even more.

_Everything will be fine. As long as you don't need him. It'll be fine._

He looked back up at you with a knowing, mischievous glint, watching you watch him, and at that moment you thought how truly handsome he was. Your captain was always attractive to you, sure, but this was different. His steely, cryptic eyes peeking out under strands of pitch-black hair, his sharp features cut from glass--your breath caught in your throat. He was so beautiful. _I'm so fucked._

"Eren knows," the words left your lips before you could stop them. Levi froze, the glimmer leaving his eyes. 

"What?"

"He just told me--well not _just_ told me, it was last night or the night before? I'm not sure, it doesn't matter, but apparently, he heard us once and figured it out, he must have seen I wasn't in my room--" Word vomit spilled from you like a madwoman, the need to justify your impulsive admission overwhelming any attempt at a calm approach. "He hasn't told anyone yet, well not _yet_ , I mean he says he won't tell anyone, I made him promise. I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner, I just didn't know what to do--"

"Shut up, cadet," Levi cut you off, unlatching his hold on you to lean back in his seat, eyes shut and fingers pinching the skin between his brows in what you hoped was at most annoyance. Your heart dropped to your stomach, this was it. You'd done it, you'd fucked it all up. You watched him take a deep breath.

"And you kept this from me, because?" He asked through gritted teeth, the muscle of his jaw tensing in the low light.

To you, it seemed as if the bigger question was why you didn't continue keeping it from him. "I...I don't know. I was scared it would ruin things."

"Well, you were right about that," he scoffed, standing up suddenly and causing you to stagger backward. 

"Wait--please, he said he'd keep quiet--"

"What do you think this is?" He spat at you, and you shrunk inwards, not expecting this kind of reaction. It's not like you thought he'd be happy about it, but you didn't think he'd be this disturbed. "You think your recklessness doesn't come with a price?"

"Wait, _my_ recklessness?" Contempt suddenly surged through you, "this is just as much your fault as mine, Levi."

"Oh, so we're getting personal now, L/N?" A raised brow and look of genuine condescension from him made your blood boil under the surface. "You address me as Captain, cadet. "

Rolling your eyes, you were well aware of that. Before even attempting to get a word out, strong fingers had your chin in their trap, forcing your eyes to meet his furrowed stare. Searching his ghost grey eyes for a trace of empathy, of understanding--anything, you sighed in defeat when there was nothing to be found. Only disappointment resided in that man. It was foolish of you to think you knew him.

"Fine, _Captain_ ," You gritted out, wrenching yourself from his grasp and turning to leave. "I will atone for _my_ recklessness." 

"Oh no, you've already made your decision." Those same hands shot out to your wrists, which batted back at him reflexively. Levi only leered at the action, fully aware your strength was no match for his, hoisting your chest against his. "You're here now...might be your last chance, cadet."

In that half-second, your mind raced with the truth of those words, that you might as well get one last good night from this. But in the next, his apparent willingness to discard you as soon as it was over, all because of Eren's knowledge, a resentment you didn't know you held towards him was ignited. This only proved it, he didn't care about being caught, you'd be cast out by now if that was the case. And yet, here he was, moments after chastising you, compelling you to stay for the night again. So...what then? Was he looking for an excuse to get rid of you...but only after one last fuck? A piece of your heart you didn't know was reserved for him shattered.

"I--" Your eyes darted around that smug expression. Nothing. No sympathy. "I won't give you the satisfaction."

Levi watched as the aggravated cadet stormed from his office, barefoot.

...

You tried not to stagger back on two feet, holding your ground as the wind blasted against your frame even from the distance you were standing at. Eren's titan materialized from the ions of emptiness around him, flesh and muscle twisting and assembling into place as the monstrous form took the place of the boy standing in the open field beyond you.

"Here we go!" Hanji's screams of enthusiasm only vaguely reached your ears over the reverberating roar that came from Eren's massive throat. As the gust of wind settled, you and your comrades stood behind your captains in awe. Even though you had all seen him transform more than a few times, it was still a striking thing to witness.

"And you're sure he's almost ready?" You heard Levi question from a few feet beyond you, arms crossed and standing at Hanji's side.

The frenzied woman ignored him and took off in Eren's direction, consumed with enthusiasm and signaling it was time for the rest of you to get to work helping the final round of tests. Grabbing gear and various wooden carts of supplies, the squad set off behind her. Slinging what was easily hundreds of yards of rope over your shoulder, you began to follow suit, passing your captain on the way.

"L/N." A stern voice stopped you in your tracks. Grimacing as you knew you hadn't spoken to the man attached to it in days, you swallowed your pride and turned to face him. Arms still crossed and dark hair a bit unkempt from the wind blast, you glimpsed at his appearance for only a moment before standing at attention.

"Sir." What did he want? His stare bore into you as the last few stragglers had taken off into the field as well, leaving you alone in his presence.

"The mission tomorrow."

"Yes?"

"We'll need you here at HQ. Glasses needs people sorting supplies and providing medic assistance when we return." Your jaw dropped.

"What? Captain, with all due respect--"

"You're dismissed, cadet." Levi interrupted, turning to leave. _That short bastard_. What was the point of this? Holding you back, keeping you from being a part of the closest thing to excitement that you'd been training for, as punishment for what? Telling him about Eren, not fucking him, and not speaking for the last few days? This was all of his doing, this is was _he_ wanted-- _he_ was the one who said things were ruined, and now he wanted to keep you from the only viable distraction.

"Levi--" He froze at your use of the word, jaw tensing. "I'm sorry, but this makes no sense. I'm more than qualified, and there are several other cadets I can think of that would be better suited for HQ work tomorrow. We both know I'm skilled enough to help protect Eren. Sir." 

Whatever response he had planned was cut off by the sound of crystals forming in the distance, like glass panes shattering and crunching into each other as you both turned to witness an icy-blue formation rise from Eren's huge fingertips in the solid ground. The speed at which he was assembling the test outpost from thin air confirmed your thoughts for you. The mission would as dangerous as it always was, but everything was under control, Eren was advanced enough to see it through, and casualties should be at a minimum in comparison. 

"So desperate to die, Y/N?" Your captain asked, not facing you as he too studied Eren in action. "Be my guest."

The faint sound of grass crunching told you he had left, and you smiled to yourself, clutching the rope in your hands and taking off in your squad's direction. It wasn't much of a fight, but this little victory strengthened your resolve. First time in days since you'd even acknowledged each other's existence, and you had won. Tomorrow you'd fight harder than ever, you thought. You'd show him you were more than some needy cadet, that you could fight for yourself and your peers, that you were fine without him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some school work so it took foreverrrr to write this, and I know it's nothing special but I thought I'd try developing somewhat of a plot lol. Not smut this time but stay tuned!
> 
> The comments and kudos I've gotten have made me soooo happy, I'm so grateful you guys like the fic so far <3 I read all the comments and you guys are fucking hilarious and so nice it's insane
> 
> once again any and all feedback helps and I'll be writing more soon eee


	7. Part Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader gets a rude awakening on the mission.

Strapping in his chest harness as he had done hundreds of times, agile fingers working quickly along his body, Levi could have gotten ready in his sleep at this point. Everything was in place, ready to go. It was still dark out, the mission set to embark before sunrise, so he had decided to skip trying to force himself to rest altogether. What was the point?

Levi knew the chances of you being injured or worse on the expedition were slim, yet he still tried to get you to stay back. Maybe to keep you safer, maybe just to see if you would still follow orders, maybe to get a reaction out of you again. He wasn't sure. What he did know, was that his short break from reality in the time he spent with you needed to end. No matter how much he enjoyed losing himself every time you'd meet. He couldn't afford to lose any more discipline.

 _Get a grip already_ , he thought to himself. Weakness wasn't an option, he'd lived through too much strife to let down his walls now. 

And yet, with each passing day the two of you didn't speak, he reflected on how he could have handled the situation better. How he shouldn't have tried to turn the blame on you, it wasn't like him to begin with, normally much more composed. _But that's the issue, isn't it?_ He would think, his control had been slipping away more and more since that very first night with you, when he'd taken that leap of faith and crossed the line. You had a way of getting him to indulge, do things he would never allow himself to do, and the longer you spent apart, the more it scared the shit out of him to reflect on it. Levi had concluded that the flickers of weakness, and even fear, that you'd seen in him needed to be obliterated as soon as possible.

Like most men his age, unfortunately, that fear was crushed down and compressed into anger. For someone who'd spent nearly his whole life running from emotion, keeping it inside and away from prying eyes, protecting himself from further suffering, rage was often the only outlet. Even that was heavily suppressed, shining through only on the battlefield or towards unsuspecting brats. And it worked for the longest time; being considered a bit socially abrasive was a small price to pay for self-preservation. Then you had to come along and hold up a mirror to him.

He hated how things had played out, hated how he encouraged your bad habits for his own gain, hated how his mood would quietly plummet whenever you'd tiptoe out of his office. He hated himself for chasing that brief moment where your eyes would meet while he was inside of you, when a glimmer of tenderness poked through the pure lust and thrill of your secret affair. 

Maybe Levi hated you too. For affecting his control, for enabling him to stray from his path, your whimpers and spasms of pleasure validating his desires. Maybe he hated you for now so easily giving in to your vices and abandoning your restraint only for some temporary relief, much unlike how you were before you'd come into each other's arms--it only reminded him of how close he could come himself to the same state if he didn't keep it together. Yet he never stopped you.

And now, you were simply just another member of the ranks, back to where you started, back before that night when something snapped and you'd decided to leave the grounds unauthorized. Alone and drunk, like an idiot. It still made his blood boil.

No--ultimately, Levi didn't hate you, he had concluded. Nonetheless, however, that's how his brain normally worked, he couldn't help it. It was much more manageable to sort people into categories of tolerable and absolutely-in-fucking-tolerable when relationships came under pressure, and this should be no different. You'd fooled around for a while in secret, and now that secret was compromised, so you'd quit while you were ahead and go your separate ways. He was simply done with you, and you should be done with him, and things could go back to normal.

 _Liar_. He exhaled in frustration, mentally kicking himself for even still thinking about it. 

No, he had something more to prove to himself, something beyond you.

He checked his gear for the third time before grabbing his cloak, setting off down the stairs and out into the cool morning air. 

...

Wind rushing in your ears as you were propelled through the air was all you could hear, planting your feet on a nearby tree branch to get a better view. Scouts whizzed through the air like flies swarming above and around Eren's titan, his massive hands rooted under a bed of grasses as that same ice-blue crystal cracked to life and shot out from underneath, pillars rising from nothingness just as you had witnessed the day before.

You were almost done with the whole affair, the entire mission estimated to take less than a full day, the trip to and from the target location strategically oriented to avoid run-ins on your way back as nighttime was nearing. A green plume of smoke streaked through the air with a fizz, signaling success and to standby. Dropping to the soft grass below, you approached your squad who'd followed suit. 

"Danm, done before sunset," Connie remarked, tossing a field ration from his pocket over to Sasha. "Looks like we live another day, folks."

"It's not over yet," Mikasa's feet hit the ground next to you as she spoke softly, ODM gear whirring in your ear. "We still have to get back."

"Can't wait, guess who talked to Hanji about maybe celebrating tonight?" Connie shot Sasha a grin. 

"Oh God, I'd kill for a break. And a beer. Or three or four, you know." Jean added in, nudging your shoulder as if to imply you were on the same page.

"Eh, I don't think I should." You grimaced. You were by no means lacking the desire to partake, but knew you should be opposed to the idea, privately anticipating how it would probably only fuel your desire for the man you were supposed to be forgetting about. 

Jean raised his eyebrows at you. "Oh c'mon, you know you want to. Mikasa? What about you?" He turned to gauge her receptiveness to tonight's upcoming antics but she had already taken off in Eren's direction, the steam billowing from his nape indicating he'd unlatched. 

Locking eyes with Connie and then Sasha, you all suppressed a chuckle. Jean's hopeless pursuit of Mikasa was as pitiful as ever, but then again, maybe you had no room to judge. You too were more a victim of yearning for the unrealistic than you'd hope. That brief stifled laugh didn't last long, as a whizzing sound from several meters beyond a nearby line of trees reached your ears.

Black smoke shot up in the distance, and you all grabbed your blades instinctively. How is the first signal for an abnormal so close already? The sound of an approaching horse confirmed the urgency, a new yet familiar voice reaching your ears. 

"Are you all blind? Dispatch _now_ ," Captain Levi ordered from his mount and you all scrambled back to your horses. 

You all took off immediately, following his lead and hurdling towards a massive looking titan that emerged from the tree line. It was an abnormal, alright; its head knocked down and up against the ground as it propelled itself forward on all fours rather clumsily. Its nape was wide open and close to the ground, suggesting it would be an easy kill, but its thrashing movements kept a wide radius of destruction around it. Shit, you'd have to get above it for sure.

"Where the hell is Mikasa?" You yelled out to your squad members. Sure, the lot of you could get the job done yourself probably, but her presence would greatly diminish the risk. Realizing she wasn't anywhere near and the titan was rapidly approaching, you all took off into the air, avoiding the large arms that flailed in your direction. 

"L/N, fall back!" Your captain's voice reached your ears despite the wind in your ear, and you twisted in confusion.

What? No, you were already in the air, already weaving through movements and the closest to the nape so far than anyone else, why was he ordering this? He would never have asked anyone else in the squad to fall back, clearly singling you out, you thought to yourself. 

A massive finger whizzed by your head, narrowly missing you while you were distracted by thought. Shit, get it together, don't think about him, you scolded yourself. He's clearly trying to get under your skin, just...proceed as planned. There's really no falling back now. 

Your feet were inches from connecting with the monster's head, planning to propel yourself off of it and down to the nape when the questions hit you. Why is he trying to throw you off or get under your skin? Does he want you to fail? Does he want you to fail in the same way he wanted you to stay back for the mission yesterday? To punish you? For what, exactly?

"Y/N!" Sasha's scream snapped you out of it, your eyes jumping to her horrified face before a flesh-colored flash moved between you, coming in your direction. An enormous hand was nearing to grab you midair, catching you offguard as you were consumed by your own thoughts and about to take you--and likely crush you--any second now.

The angry hiss of metal cords was the last thing you heard before you got the wind knocked out of you, a body crashing into yours as you were pulled away from the titan and out of reach in the last half second. You slammed into the ground, rolling in the grass dangerously close to your blades that were still out, accidentally slicing the back your forearm.

Heaving into the dirt, throat and spine stunned from the brutal fall, you vaguely heard the slashing of blades from afar and a tremendous thud into the ground. At least someone else must have gone for the kill and been successful, you thought, briefly relieved that the threat was neutralized. Unbeknownst to you at that very moment, a different threat was furiously approaching on two feet. 

"I told you to fucking fall back, Y/N," Pure wrath colored your captain's words and you suddenly felt hands at your jacket collar, easily pulling your limp body up to its feet.

"Shit--" You breathlessly scrambled in his hold. "Captain--I'm sorry, I don't know--" Hold on, no, your brain scolded you in that half-second where you met his storming eyes. Don't apologize, you weren't stupid-- _he_ did this. _On fucking purpose._

"Levi, what the fuck?! I had that! You distracted me, I almost died!" Two thin brows furrowed at your words in contempt and Levi unleashed his hold, sending you buckling back down on your ass. Before he could answer your boldness, the sound of several boots hitting the ground advanced from behind.

"Y/N! Are you alright? You almost had that, what happened?" Sasha crouched to pull you into a hug and you shot a glare at your fuming captain, her words unknowingly confirming what you'd just accused him of.

As your other comrades rounded Levi's unwavering build to come nearer as well, Connie's hand patted your captain's back in blissful ignorance of his fury. "Nice save, Cap. Honestly, I thought she was done for."

"You're off the squad." Levi's cold words broke the commotion, heads turning to meet his burning stare on you. You blinked at him in the few seconds of silence that followed.

"Wait, who? Me?" Connie's question was cut off by your own.

"What? Captain--" You started to plead.

"I'll get Hanji to discuss it more with you tomorrow." His words were suddenly unimpassioned, the repressed rage from just before totally disappeared but his eye contact with you unbroken. "You'll be assigned a new squad shortly. Until then, I pray you learn some respect for your commanding officers." He glanced around at your stunned comrades briefly, who were clearly all too startled to speak. 

"For now, proceed as planned. All of you, retrieve Eren, gather gear, and get the fuck back to HQ. Dismissed."

A round of shaky ' _yes, sir_ 's were heard in unison from all around where you sat, speechless. You caught a few sympathetic glances, and after promising Sasha you'd later explain what you very well knew you couldn't explain, you finally got back to your feet, watching your friends take off towards the new outpost. Fighting back tears and unwanted dark thoughts, you jogged back to your horse, ready to throw yourself into the work and push off what all this meant for you until later.

Once reaching the grounds again, you were more than dejected. Practically throwing your horse's lead back onto the hook, you approached your squad--well, former squad--with newfound disregard for yourself as they flooded the canteen eagerly, already searching for drinks. 

Plopping down onto a bench, lively chatter began to spark up and you grimaced. A couple of drinks would be fine, right? You lied to yourself. 

...

Shit. You were _belligerently_ drunk. Daring, flirty, sexed-up and buzzed was nowhere to be found, your surroundings swimming in your eyes as if welled with tears, but of course, there were none to be found. You were just so fucked out of your mind that your retinas lagged about ten beats behind the world around you, your universe draped in warm fuzz. It was a miracle you hadn't emptied your stomach yet, reveling at your increasingly building tolerance.

Jean wasn't doing too hot either, his own staggers down the stone hall doing a less than efficient job at holding you up as you locked arms, supporting each other much like the blind leading the blind. It was late into the night, yet the cadet wing rang with echoing hoots and hollers, littered with drunken late-teens and twenty-somethings more than willing to take advantage of the day off that awaited you all in the morning. Vaguely feeling a pair of warm lips and a scruffy chin at your ear, what sounded like a ' _my room?_ ' registered in your brain in choppy fragments.

Huh? Oh, yeah, you giggled to yourself. He means sex.

You don't know how you ended up in his hold, the events of the last few hours melting together as drink after drink was tossed back, inhibitions dialed back into the negative. You knew you subconsciously intended to push your own limits tonight, but you didn't realize you were pretty much going for the kill, dimly recalling how you'd shrugged off a concerned Eren after the fourth or fifth shot. What was his deal anyway? It's not like you two were friends anymore, you remembered thinking. That's when a more than happy to accommodate Jean had appeared in the next moment with two brimming glasses and an equally tipsy grin.

Looking back up at him, you mused to yourself how he definitely was not unattractive, in that snarky, pretty-boy way, and seemingly just as slutty as you often found yourself after a few. Maybe it would be good to go back with him, be with someone your own age, and have a clumsy, racy night with no strings attached. No lying to your peers, no secret stolen moments after dark, no consequences on the horizon should you be seen brushing shoulders. He was opposite to Levi in almost every way, you realized, not to mention taller.

Broad hands were at your waist, warm palms stabilizing you against the stone wall of the hallway as Jean's lips connected with yours, the tang of alcohol on his tongue as it sloppily began exploring your mouth.

 _Levi_.

The memory of his skilled fingers and sharp nose pressed into you bubbled up in your mind unwillingly, and you picture that it was his strong thigh between your legs instead of the man in front of you. You knew you shouldn't, but your thoughts floated to his tongue in your mouth, his hand at your throat holding your head in place as he bit and sucked at your lower lip...

Without a second thought, you reached down to take one of Jean's large hands from your waist, dragging it up to your neck where he cupped the side of it, sweetly tracing his thumb along the tendons. No, not like that, you thought rather impatiently, haphazardly trying to add pressure with your own hand over his, but he wasn't getting the signal. Fluttering your eyes open, you caught a glimpse of his shut eyes and furrowed brow from centimeters away, jaw working away at the kiss you had slowly stopped returning. It was an unfortunately sobering sight.

"Oh, hah--sorry," you mumbled, gently pushing him back, a barely visible string of spit between your mouths as you parted. Yuck.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his lids so heavy with inebriation you couldn't read his expression.

"Alright, everyone!" A newer, higher-pitched voice rang down the hall before you could answer, and you both turned to find Hanji with outstretched arms and waving a cowbell in the air, turning the heads of all the other stumbling cadets. Where the hell did she get that? You chuckled to yourself as she waited for the noise to die down.

"Party's over! Hate to be a buzzkill but the sun will be rising in a couple of hours, and we've definitely gotten some complaints. Find a room or share one!" She concluded, taking a few steps down the hall to usher everyone alone, stumbling briefly having had knocked back a few drinks herself. Once she passed you, her head snapped to you and Jean, his arms still keeping you steady against the wall, and her eyes widened.

" _You two?_ " She announced a little louder than you would have preferred as she gave him a playful smack to the back of the head. 

"What would poor Mikasa think, Jeannie?" she teased, well aware of the running gossip of the squad by now, and his cheeks reddened. It was then that the irony of the situation hit you, finding yourselves in each other's arms while both separately frustrated over different Ackermans.

His eyes widened, turning back to gauge your reaction and you shrugged. It's not like it bothered you, obviously having no reservations towards him whatsoever. After all, you were quite literally pretending he was another man just now.

"Ah--I'm drunk, please don't say anything to her," he slurred out in Hange's direction, and she locked questioning eyes with you in shared acknowledgment that Mikasa definitely wouldn't give a single shit either way.

"Oh don't you worry son," her palm slapping on his shoulder. "Everyone's drunk tonight, it doesn't count. Even our local senior citizen has been getting in on the fun," she reassured, nodding her head over to where she first made her appearance, and your heart skipped a beat.

Following her nod, you spied your captain spitting insults at a group of male cadets down the hall, attempting to herd them to their respective rooms. His white button-up and dark hair looking slightly more disheveled than usual, his languid steps indicated a degree of insobriety you weren't quite used to seeing--in public at least. Against all earlier reservations, in that second your heart leaped from seeing him again, wasted brain still associating the sight of him with excitement and arousal, especially as you could see the slight flush of his face from this distance.

Arms crossed and coolly administering a light kick at the back of an unsuspecting male cadet's knee, you watched him send the last few stragglers to bed and turn to continue down the hall. Towards where you were.

"Shit, I gotta go," you mumbled, slipping out from under Jean's arms at lightning speed and holding the wall for support as you tried to slip away unnoticed. While your animalistic instincts cried out for you to approach your captain, the sliver of sense you had left told you there was no way in hell were you about to face him in this state.

"Hey! Wait-" Your comrade and former make-out partner reached out indiscriminately to you in confusion, accidentally relying on too much momentum and sending you both tumbling down, his body weight practically crushing you against the unforgiving ground. A gasp was heard from Hanji as your chin collided alarmingly hard on the stone floor, clipping the side of your tongue between your teeth.

"Ah-fuck! Jean!" You gritted out, hand shooting up to your mouth, tasting blood as you laid trapped and wriggling on your stomach, his whole frame still slumped down on you as he groaned in pain.

"Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark," Hanji commented, squatting at your side.

"Idiots." A familiar voice spoke and you finally felt the weight yanked off of you, peeking over your shoulder to see Levi hoist the full-grown man by his shirt, dropping him carelessly on the floor next to you with a crash. Another groan from Jean and you felt a boot prod into your waist, turning you on your side to see the man you were desperately trying to avoid towering above. Shit.

"Get up, cadet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was nearing 7k words so I decided to break it into two chapters instead, so I'm going to try and double update tonight seeing as the next one's already almost done :) Worst case, I'll post it tomorrow morning. Either way, this next one had me looking into an invisible camera every five minutes because I couldn't believe what I was writing so uuhhhhh if you're also a masochistic & degenerate motherfucker stay tuned.
> 
> Sorry for the long breaks between updates and thank you so much for the kudos and comments, I can't believe how many reads this little story has gotten <3333


	8. Part Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions come to a head as the reader begins to see exactly what her captain is capable of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE! For the love of God, if you're not into blood, any kind of violence/degrading language (in both a sexual and non-sexual context), toxicity, angst, or have been stomaching the dubious consent but not really here for it, you can just skip this one.
> 
> I really wanted to write more about Levi's callous/sadistic side that comes with his frustration so that's what a lot of this is. Seriously, If that's not your thing, again, just skip this one. It's kind of a doozy.

"Get up, cadet."

You blinked up at him, not yet fully aware that your shirt had now bunched up your waist in the commotion as you held your pulsating chin gingerly, and tried to get your bearings. Unbeknownst to you due to his ice-cold demeanor, his patience was razor-thin. The longer you took to respond, much less start to get up, the closer he inched to rage.

When you dropped your spinning head back to look at the ground, a significantly less gentle kick landed on your ribs, sending a groan and a few droplets of blood from your injured tongue past your lips.

"Get. Up. I know you can hear me." Despite the violence of his actions, his tone was as composed as ever, bordering on the nonchalant as you heaved over your elbows in muted pain.

"Easy shorty, I'll get her back to her room. You can handle him," Hanji cut in, a bit more serious now, still squatted at your side, waving him away and surveying the red dribble on the floor.

"Kirstein's clearly looking for a woman's touch tonight, glasses. Besides, I'm already making progress with this one."

You barely had time to catch your breath before it was cut off, the neckline of your shirt roughly pulled against your throat as you were lifted by its collar, hands frantically going to stabilize yourself on the ground.

"Fuck-" you finally managed to choke out, knees scraping against the floor as he pulled you forward a few inches. Despite being battered around and now dragged much like a ragdoll, the pangs of pain thankfully felt like more like stinging nuisances, alcohol still swimming in your veins.

"Levi, at least let her get to her feet, no?" Her tone was suddenly concerned, perhaps more at your captain's apparent malice than for you.

You looked up at the two of them locking eyes, his apathetic glare seemingly wordlessly communicating something unbeknownst to you. She let out a sigh, turning to you as if to assess the damage, then back to help Jean up on his feet. Your stomach twisted; you had Levi's full attention now.

"Ten seconds, cadet, or you're getting dragged." Mustering all your strength, your hand slapped to the wall at your side and used the leverage to get to your knees, then finally to your feet, leaning against the cool stone for dear life.

As soon as both boots touched the ground, Levi had your arm clutched fiercely, stalking down the now mostly empty hall towards the women's wing. You flashed back to that first night when he'd caught you out at the bar, and thought how similar of a situation this was. Although now, of course, you weren't being dragged out so much by the captain who you respected as you were by the older man who probably rued the day he ever gave your pleas any leverage.

"Let go, I can walk."

"Bullshit," he mumbled, unrelenting in his hold as he continued to practically haul you like cargo. "You're dead weight."

"Maybe because you're treating me like it, asshole," you insisted stupidly, concentrating on not tripping over your own two feet. "Seriously, can you fuck off? I don't care, I don't want to be around you right now."

Levi stopped to swivel around and face you, giving you a brief reprieve to stand up as straight as you could muster. "You think I want to be around _you_ right now, cadet?"

"Clearly you do! Why n-not let Hanji or someone else--"

"I know how to handle you." He cut you off matter-of-factly, and you laughed in his face.

"Oh, so what, you're gonna drag me away and fuck me again? Is that what you mean by ' _handle_ ', Captain?"

" _I wouldn't give you the satisfaction_ , cadet," He snapped, throwing your own words from several nights before back in your face. Giving you a quick look up and down, he sneered at your disposition. "A drunk, a slut, _and_ a fucking idiot."

You gaped at him and his insults, frustration and nervousness quickly boiling into rage as you tried to stammer a response, but instead, something snapped.

You wrenched your arm away from him and stumbled back a few steps, and the moment he turned to find where you'd gone, your open hand collided with his cheek, _hard_. The smacking sound reverberated through the now silent and unpopulated corridor, echoing for a moment as he turned his head back in surprise, gawking at you for only a split second before his eyes narrowed again.

"That's it," he gritted and slung you with incredible speed over his shoulder roughly, once again reminding you of his impressive strength for his stature. Yet, the dogs had been let loose in your mind and you all but screamed, swinging and swatting at his back while your legs kicked fruitlessly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You demanded, voice raised and strained. "You sadistic prick, you get to fucking kick me? Like a dog, Levi? Kick me off the squad--insult me? And, what, I don't get to fight back?!" Your thigh was now pressed into his neck, desperately trying to get him to relent. Fury like you had never known it seeped out of every pore, unmatched indignance fueled by pent-up emotions and enough alcohol to break all inhibitions.

He was fully ignoring you now, his hold tightening and restraining your legs to prevent further thrashing, but unable to do anything about your fists at his back or your mouth.

"Hey! If anyone's awake right now," you hollered, now set on getting the attention of anyone in the rooms you were passing, despite the fact they'd probably all be passed out cold. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore, you were way beyond your limit. "I want you all to know Captain-Levi-Fucking-Ackerman likes to fucking hit women!"

"You are out of your fucking mind, Y/N," he condemned, now struggling a bit to keep you contained as you wrenched and writhed away like your life depended on it.

"Oh yeah! How could I forget," you continued, keeping your volume as high as you could get it, "Captain Levi also likes to _fuck_ his cad--"

You were immediately dropped to the ground as he straddled your legs in seconds, his hand clamped over your mouth. His control was slipping, he could feel it, his forearm trembling with restrained rage as his gaze darkened on the writhing woman below him, bleary-eyed and panting through bloodstained lips. He couldn't believe your frenzy, livid that you allowed yourself to become _this_ wasted, yet some part of him knew he had probably pushed you too far in the first place.

"You really are the stupidest bitch in the corps," He spat, unable to blame himself at that moment just yet with your ridiculous and undying attempts at screaming against his hand, and he pushed down harder. "Do you _want_ to be thrown off grounds? Knock yourself out, but don't bring me down with you because you _can't keep your fucking legs closed_."

You could have killed him at that moment, his venomous words ringing in your ear and as the hand cupping your mouth pressed down even further, fingers crushing past your lips with excessive force. Taking the opportunity, you bit them as hard as you could, giving you just enough recoil to exploit as you jerked your face and upper body away, swinging your leg around force him off his balance. Having gained only a second of the upper hand, you now straddled him, his gritted teeth barred in frustration, canines exposed.

"You say that like you don't crawl between them every night," you spit, furious that he would be so insulting as you attempted to hold his wrists back. It was no use--it never had been, he was much closer to sobriety than you were. Lurching forward and propelling you backward as he regained dominance, he was holding you down by the throat.

"You heartless fucking hypocrite-- I fucking hate you, Levi," you croaked out, still resisting with every ounce of strength left.

"Yeah?" He took your wrists in his other hand with a growl and pinned them above your head, shooting daggers at you with his eyes. "I fucking hate you too."

For some reason, you half expected him not to say it back. Tears threatened to sting at your eyes but you held them back, opting instead to spit directly up into his face, red droplets splattering against the smooth, pale skin. With a snarl, he backed off and unleashed you to get to his feet in seconds, wiping his face and dragging you back to your feet to continue down the hall. You were outside the room before you knew it, head spinning a bit from the brawl, and swiftly yanked into it. Dropping you roughly like a burlap sack on the floor by the bed, you let out a yelp as the wind was nearly knocked out of you.

"Get out," you ordered once the room stopped spinning, your hands stabilizing you as you went to sit up on your knees. "I'm back in my room now, so get the fuck out."

A leathery ' _thwap_ ' sound answered your demand and you turned up to look at him where he stood, pulling his belt from his hips. You raised a brow as he took it between his hands.

"Kinky." You mocked as your captain squatted beside you now. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"You're drunk, and a danger to yourself and others. Not to mention to a superior, cadet." He spoke, much more composed than when you were at each other's throats but dripping with malice. Once his frame was inches from you, close enough to smell the slight sweat from the conflict and reaching his arms around your back to take your wrists, it clicked in your mind.

"You are not fucking serious," you thrashed against him, arms shooting out of his grasp before he took them again, much more forcefully. When you stilled, his stormy eyes bore into yours, completely serious.

"I'm more than happy to take you downstairs and put you behind bars if that's what you prefer." His hands worked behind your back as he spoke, wrapping the belt around your wrists to the bedpost of your cot and effectively securing you, your hands behind your back as you sat on your feet. Once he was satisfied with the hold, he pulled back, sitting on his own heels as he crouched before you.

"You're insane," you panted, struggling against the restraint to test its strength. "This is so unnecessary."

"Perhaps." 

You tensed when you felt a finger just above your knee, following his eyes down to it as he gently traced absentmindedly.

"You hate me?" His tone was low and cool, but by no means kind or tender. You glanced up at his face to find his eyes already meeting yours.

"What do you care?" You fumed, refusing to look away first and remembering his words from before. "I'm a drunk, idiot slut, right?"

"Do you?"

"Fuck you."

A swat landed on your cheek, sending your head to the side and your vision to white for a half-second. You strained against the belt at your wrists reflexively, of course, to find there was nothing to do. You were right, the calmness of his words in no way reflected his interior hostility.

"That's not an answer." You couldn't believe how emotionless he sounded.

"Looks like you're not getting one then," you chuckled hoarsely, still against all odds not submitting to his demands. Why should you? He _used_ you, insulted you, and worse, and likely blamed you for it too. That small, depraved, animalistic part of you that had relished in his degradation-- _that had literally cum around his cock for it many times_ \--could not be allowed to come out now.

His fingers at your jaw snapped you out of your thoughts, painfully digging into the same flesh that had cracked into the ground earlier that night, and turned your chin to face him. Of course, he could always tell when you were thinking.

"Last chance."

"Yes." You gritted out, finally and hopefully putting the topic to rest.

"Why?"

"For fuck's sake, Levi--"

" _Why?_ " His fingers dug in a little bit more.

"Because you fucking hurt me, asshole!" You fumed, honesty suddenly rearing its head. "Because you see me as a fucking hole, because you let me think everything would be okay, because you think you're so much better than me and everyone else, because suddenly you don't want me anymore and I still want you--" Two hot and unintentional tears streamed down your cheeks at the admission, more from exertion than anything else, and you quickly blinked them away. "Because clearly, you hate me too."

Levi stared at you. "Is that what you think?"

You nodded, suppressing any more angry tears. A hand suddenly at your thigh practically burned through the fabric of your pants.

"You're right." His icy words rang in your ears, shooting daggers into your confession and your heart. No hidden weakness to be found. The hand at your jaw released you finally, letting it fall open.

"What..." you gaped at him and his blank expression, save for maybe a slight twitch of his jaw muscle. "What the fuck happened to you, Levi? Like in your life, to make you this way?"

He considered you for a second, those same steely eyes and apathetic glint reminding you of his eternal indifference. The gears in his mind whirred privately, as yours often did.

"You and I aren't so different, cadet. Maybe you should ask yourself that."

Even though you had been thoroughly emotionally beaten down by this point, chest tight with anguish, and mentally exhausted from the strife he was putting you through, a small laugh actually managed to escape your lips. You met his eyes. "You and I are nothing alike, Captain."

"Yeah?" His speed was truly unmatched and nimble fingers ran up your thighs, sending ice through your veins and going straight for the waistline of your pants.

"You don't do what needs to be done?" He freed the button with one hand and the zipper with the other. "And block out all the rest?" Fingers at your belt loops tugged them forcibly.

"You don't," the seat of your pants pulled painfully over your ass, "chase your desires," the legs bunched down to your knees, "in secret?" His forehead nudged against yours. "Only in secret?"

Gaping at him as he crouched now, chest inches from yours and hands fisting the fabric of your pants at your knees, exposing you in more ways than one as he confronted you with yourself. You shivered at his breath tickling your bloodstained lips.

"You have serious fucking issues," you exhaled, still denying him a relevant response though your heart rate leaped at his intensity.

Cool, thin fingers walked up your thigh once more, and brusquely cupped your sex over your underwear. Heat rushed to your face as you felt him unavoidably discover what you now couldn't hide, the wetness pooling between your thighs through the fabric, onto the pads of his digits. Wrists still tied behind your back, all you could do was shudder at the small smirk you could have sworn graced his lips, as he ever so gently pressed against your swollen clit.

"Oh, Y/N," Levi's lips brushed over yours as he spoke almost pityingly, words dripping with perverse vindication as your body filled in the blanks your mouth refused to admit. "It looks like I could say the same about you."

Your open mouth was invaded, his lips pulling at the flesh of your own and grazing over your sore and still injured tongue which you flinched at reflexively. Noticing this, he coaxed your tongue from your mouth with his own, slowly extracting it until it rested between his lips. For a second, he seemed to caress it in his hold, gently and tenderly coddling it as you kissed. As soon as you began to feel that flutter of affection though, his teeth took it between their hold with more force than you would have liked.

" _Ahg_ -" You groaned a muted and animal-like noise of pain into his mouth, careful not to pull away instinctively, your wounded organ pulsating between his teeth. Despite this plea for heed, he did not release, a surge of panic running through you as you began to feel him slowly bite down.

Ghost limbs went to push his shoulders away when you remembered they were restrained behind you, unable to stop him from administering the absolutely stinging pain at your tongue. As the small lesion on the side from where you'd clipped it earlier began splitting back open, the fingers at your clit began to move. _Holy fuck._

Now pressing your head and body against the same bedpost you were tied to, Levi overwhelmed you, sucking and biting down with slowly increasing force at the flesh, his fingers rubbed circles of equally slowly increasing friction at your soaked clit. It was a mixture of unbearable and delectable, pleasurable and humiliating as you couldn't help but rock back into his hand, trading pain for satisfaction. A shameful moan came from your throat as he worked sparks of pleasure through your center, all the while pushing your injury past the brink, tangy warm liquid beginning to pool in your mouths.

Just when you felt you couldn't take it anymore, tears burning at your lashes at the confused signals your brain was receiving from your body, he tilted your head back with his own and unclamped his teeth. Relief was fleeting as the blood instantly poured to the back of your throat, choking you briefly, and the fingers indulging you pulled away. Your eyes widened as his frame pulled away completely to stand, looking down at you as you squirmed with your pants down, sitting on your knees with your arms behind you, head tilted back as you struggled to keep the viscous liquid from spilling past your lips.

"So pretty, even now," Levi breathed. His sudden praise both enchanted and confused, having expected more insults or degradation. Your eyes faltered for a moment to spy the tented outline in his pants before returning to the sight of his cocked head. "Maybe I should leave you like this tonight."

Your eyes widened at his words, he wouldn't dare. Smirking slightly at your reaction, he reached a hand over to your mouth, taking the lower lip between his fingers slowly and watching the crimson fluid dribble out like wine. His hips were positioned squarely in front of your face now, legs straddling your strained knees.

 _Fuck it_. You let your head fall, small streams flowing down your chin and his fingers, freeing your throat.

"Levi..." Your wet, pulsating tongue slurred out the name, pleading eyes scanned his porcelain features in the low light. Pleading for direction, touch, relief, anything to alleviate the tension that came with this completely new territory. Even if it really meaning leaving you here on the spot, as long as it eased the suspense he built with his unreadable face seemingly transfixed on your mouth. 

"Say what you want, cadet," his free hand went to palm the bulge between his legs, stroking the outline with a lazy palm. 

"I..." you gazed hungrily at the trapped length. The object of your desire, the forbidden artifact of your pleasure, the swollen organ that brought you so much grief yet so much satisfaction. The boundaries of sense had been more than pushed tonight, and the words spilled shamelessly, "Please...fuck my mouth."

Pride flashed in his grey pupils, and the freehand worked quickly, unbuttoning and pulling the cloth over himself, hot member unleashed and tapping your nose lightly. You took the head between your slick lips, letting it glide along your inflamed, angry tongue. An appreciative soft groan came from his throat, eyes still glued to yours. Although still a bit bleary-eyed, you did not relent, using the sleek and slippery coating of your bloodied mouth to take him in by a few more inches, feeling your clit twitch in need as he breached your wet, warm mouth.

Levi's slender hands quickly wrapped in your hair, holding it upright as the mixture of spit and blood married in your mouth along his cock, effortlessly gliding to the back of your throat with every thrust. The ridges of the head skimmed your injured tongue and sent stings of pain through your mouth, but the very action was perverted enough to maintain the thrill that got you here in the first place. The spittle unavoidably began to dribble down your lips, strings of darkly colored drool splattering on your exposed thighs, sending cold shocks up to your center. You whined in need along his length; despite the egoism his soft moans of pleasure instilled, you still needed stimulation--desperately.

"That pretty little mouth," he hummed from above you, leaning into himself as he twitched between your lips. Trailing off, he didn't finish whatever he hoped to as you groaned around his cock, sending vibrations and tainted slobber spuming past your lips. You were absolutely swimming in the newfound appreciation, the compliments going straight to your head at alarming speed considering how long they had been withheld and how depraved the act you were engaged in was. That depravity only heightened when you felt a new presence between your thighs.

The toe of Captain Levi's boot wedged under you and further separated your legs, immediately slithering along your bare, slick folds, him having pulled your panties to the side earlier. 

"You wanna cum, baby?"

You could have died on the spot, and gaped up at him despite the occupancy in your mouth, and he took the opportunity to slide in even further, cock barreling uncomfortably down your open throat. Choking on the intrusion, you couldn't help but hear his words echo in your mind. ' _Baby._ ' It was almost comically inappropriate, the soft and borderline loving word praising you as blood leaked from your wrecked tongue and exposed cunt pulsated against his leathery boot.

Still, you groaned and nodded as his rock-hard cock bobbed in the back of your throat, chasing its own pleasure as the shoe underneath tilted up against you, the anterior crushing against your clit. _God, forgive me_.

You rocked your hips against the boot shamelessly, grinding your needy clit against the smooth surface as your lips wrapped around him with more vigor than before. Giving him the show of a lifetime as you mewled along his width, you ignored the burning pain at your tongue and throat, only chasing your own orgasm in the heat of the moment. 

With the alcohol coursing through your veins paired with the strings of praises from Levi, a climax that had no fighting chance of resisting was soon coaxed out of you, and it wasn't long before that wretched wave of self-indulgence vibrated out from between your thighs. Moans of defeated pleasure and self-hatred sang out from a throat already deeply invaded by the impressively bloated erection of your captain, jutting his hips quickly and selfishly into your thrumming face. The slickness, tightness, and deepness of your ruined mouth was too much to resist, and he quickly found himself shooting ropes down your borderline-assaulted throat. 

You swallowed thoughtlessly, barely even registering the tartness on your tongue as darkness crept into the corners of your eyes. Panting a bit as it pulled out, exhaustion swept over you, claiming you in its hold as the now shiny boot removed itself from your thighs, the desperate and demeaning nature of your orgasm still relaxing your strained limbs and mind nonetheless. Suddenly, darkness was all around you, and your eyes closed shut.

...

Levi stood on unsteady legs, soft breaths filling the air. You had slumped over before him with arms still held captive behind your back, keeping you from crashing into the floor. 

_Not only selfish, but sick_. His thoughts battered him relentlessly as the room around him came into better focus, clarity shining through the moments following orgasm.

 _Shit_.

He grabbed a nearby cloth to wipe at his glistening member, normally being able to stomach the mess but now utterly unable to look past the clearly dark red coat of spit that glazed his dick before tucking it back into his pants. Squatting before you, he turned your limp head in his hands to see if you had really passed out or not. When it was clear that you were unresponsive, eye-opening guilt washed over him as he had never known it before.

Levi wasted no time, pulling the restraints off with nimble fingers, wiping your mouth and stripping your blood speckled clothes from your limbs before finding a nightshirt in record speed. Practically yanking it over you, strong arms lifted you bridal style from the floor and set you on the bed, watching as your head bobbed lifelessly in his hold.

He didn't have time to consider the way tonight unfolded just yet--he couldn't, the effects of his own alcoholic intake beginning to peter off and threaten a level of self-reflection he was nowhere near being able to stomach just yet. Once you were sufficiently put in bed, he strode through the door back out into the hallway, hoping to avoid any run-ins.

 _Selfish. Sick._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was petrified to post this on Wattpad as well, I know it's not nearly as bad as a lot of the stuff swimming around out there but the thought that I could potentially be posting something this graphic to a bunch of tweens made my stomach turn. Hopefully, that's not the case.
> 
> Anyway, if you liked the chapter lmk! If not, lmk too (and why plsss)! It's all good, just glad to see people forming opinions on what I put out either way.  
> Thanks again, ily


	9. Part Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now coming to terms with the nature of her captain, the reader finds comfort in new places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, in case it wasn't clear already, this fic takes place in the canon universe pre-time skip, but every character including the reader is aged up to be a young adult/18+. Sorry for not making that clear before, I thought it would be obvious but just realized otherwise.

You sucked on the piece of ice, rolling it around your mouth, the coolness soothing and numbing your inflamed tongue. Having arrived a little early, you could spy the nearly empty training grounds outside from the window where you sat outside Hanji's office. No one was really out and about today, all likely lounging around and nursing hangovers. Not you though, as you were duly reminded after a late breakfast of your meeting with your section leader to discuss "finding a better fit for you."

Yeah, that's one way to put it.

You thought back to this morning when you'd woken up to a vicious sore throat and swollen tongue, tangy dried blood coating your mouth. It was pure hell, limbs aching from the blows you'd both thrown and received and a headache overwhelming most all other senses. You had tried and failed to piece together the events of the night before, grimacing as a gnawing feeling in your gut bloomed into full-blown horror when your memory finally returned. 

It took over an hour before you finally rolled out of bed, guzzled down some water, and threw your coat over your nightshirt to trudge over to the medic's. Normally, you'd stick out like a sore thumb with your exposed legs, but today there were plenty of other dazed-looking scouts waiting in their nightwear for some kind of magic hangover cure. It wasn't long before you were sent off with a bandage and some herbal mouthwash, deciding to keep your other ailments to yourself for now.

You tried your best to look as presentable as possible despite the occasional waves of nausea and killer pounding in your head, taking care to thoroughly wash yourself, smooth your hair, and dawn a tighter fitting uniform than normal, the fabric hugging your skin and providing some much-needed pressure against your sore limbs. Hopefully, it would make you seem less slovenly despite the bandage on your chin. Looking put together was essential to looking as reliable as possible, you decided. That, and being 15 minutes early, apparently.

As you sat, clicking the ice against your teeth absentmindedly, you tried your best not to cringe at the outburst that followed your mission to practically drink yourself to death last night. Screaming in the hall, thrashing against your captain like a lunatic. Privately, you were a bit proud of yourself for putting up that much of a challenge. Sure, he wasn't in full fighting form, but the fact that you managed to get humanity's strongest soldier pinned under you for even a moment gave you some satisfaction.

That satisfaction was fleeting, however, inevitably also remembering how he'd eventually broken you down just minutes later using only his words. And his belt. And his boot. You shuddered at the thought; it was mortifying in retrospect. The event itself was one thing, but maybe how you'd enjoyed it so much was what really disturbed you, how his words went from hateful and furious to praising and borderline adoring once you were back to swapping pleasure, and how it worked so well on you. Worst of all it seemed, the moment that stuck out the most out of everything was how he'd called you baby for the first time.

You shivered even thinking about it; it should have felt misplaced, because it definitely was. It should have only reminded you of how normally affectionless your involvement with him was, but it only stroked that repressed, stupid, needy part of your brain that longed for him in a way that was beyond just sexual. It was as if with every insult or action he threw your way that should get you to hate him only gave you fleeting rage, not the long-lasting resentment you knew you should feel. On some level, maybe you felt like you deserved it.

After all, you were becoming less and less of the person you were once comfortable being. Shying away from conflict, holding your tongue, never hesitating to follow orders, could you say any of that about yourself now? Maybe it was your straying from that lifestyle that put you in this position in the first place, in which case no insult from Levi could really rattle you in a way that felt totally unmerited. So then when the brief moments of tenderness, affection, or praise would come as well, it was absolutely intoxicating. Almost serving as a reward for the strife that preceded it.

 _You're not a dog. Don't rely on fucking rewards_ , the braver part of you reminded. _He fucked your bloody mouth and had you bleating for release on his boot. That is not tenderness._

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Hanji's merry voice rang through the hall, pulling you from your thoughts as she burst from beyond the arches that led to it. You swallowed the now tiny piece of ice and shot to your feet, assuming a salute as was customary. Your heartbeat quickened when you realized she had arrived not just alone, but with Commander Erwin following right behind. You weren't expecting him to be here, surely he'd have more important things to attend to even on the day off.

You swallowed your nerves and followed his broad, noble shoulders into her workspace, reveling at his gentle yet domineering movements alone commanding respect. Once they were both settled and gave you the at-ease, you sat across them at the table much like a child at a principal's office. But now, this was your future you were dealing with, your reputation among your superiors, and your destiny with whatever new squad you'd receive, the one you knew you'd probably die alongside one day. All major things you'd now have to consider, now that Levi kicked you from the squad. It all hadn't really set in yet.

"Ooh, that looks real rough," Hanji commented, regarding the bandage at your bruised chin. She opened her mouth suddenly, pointing at it. "Let me see how it's doing."

You obliged her and stuck out your angry-looking tongue, swallowing embarrassment as they both looked at it, Commander Erwin clearly a bit more perplexed than Hanji who had witnessed the fall herself last night. Of course, she hadn't seen what had come after that, but the explanation still held up.

"I have a few ointments--well moreso personal concoctions of mine--if you'd like me to look through them--"

The clearing of Commander Erwin's throat halted her spiraling comments, reminding you of the more pressing matters at hand. You glanced over to his strong blue-eyed gaze briefly, faltering at its intensity. For the first time, you started to feel a bit ashamed of yourself for what happened on the mission. Maybe he had that effect on people.

"Well, it looks like it's time to begin. We're here to ensure you find a squad more suited for you and have taken a look over your files," a short stack of papers was hauled onto the table as she continued, "and it seems you have a more than decent track record. I see 21 kills and 48 assists-"

"22."

Inquisitive eyes of your superiors shot up at you from the papers and you floundered. God, shut the fuck up, you mentally kicked yourself.

"Oh, um--22 kills," you clarified. "Not that important, please continue," you mumbled under your breath at the end.

"I see," your commander's rich voice sounded clearly in your direction, a somewhat fascinated look on his face. "We'll remedy your file as soon as possible."

"Even more so then!" Hanji jumped back in. "My point is, you're talented enough to be on Levi squad so I hope you don't take all this personally. The captain isn't exactly easy to get along with; it's hardly the first time this has happened."

You nodded and listened as she went on discussing different options, all the while losing morale and avoiding your commander's eyes as you felt them on you nearly the entire time. Why was he here again? Was this standard procedure? Shortly, it was concluded that over the course of the next few days, you'd train alongside three other squads of similar status and test out your compatibility, one of which included Hanji's squad itself. It was a generous offer to say the least, but you could thank your abilities on the field for it. Once you accepted the terms and thanked them for their consideration, you all stood to leave Hanji in her office.

"Cadet L/N," Commander Erwin called out to you once you'd begun to walk down the hall and you stopped in your tracks.

"Sir," you went to salute at attention before he gave you a wave of dismissal.

"I've heard good things, but getting a chance to look at your file itself was eye-opening. I hope you didn't mind me joining today."

"Of course not. And thank you, sir." Heard good things? How so, and from whom?

"Keep up the good work. I'm sure you'll find a squad that suits you; if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." And with a gentle smile, he left you as you stammered a 'thanks' once more.

You were a bit stunned, to say the least. Grateful nonetheless for his kind words and proud of yourself for keeping it together during the meeting, careful not to trip over your own words too much considering your tongue, you began your trek back to your room.

Walking down the hall of offices, your pace slowed significantly as you neared the one at the end of the hall, the one you'd found yourself outside of late at night many times. You weren't sure why you slowed down, maybe out of some subconscious reflex to tiptoe whenever in its vicinity, maybe to get a better look at the sturdy wooden door in the daylight for once. Your heart was racing, you couldn't help it.

For a second, the thought of just walking in crossed your mind. No knocking, no bullshit, just going and giving Levi a piece of your mind. You'd tell him exactly how you felt, for him throwing you off your game, for expelling you from the squad, for kicking you when you were down, for calling you names, _for taking advantage_. Your fists clenched.

No. He hated you now, remember? He said it himself. It would only bring him satisfaction to hear how that it hurt you. The indignation you were supposed to have felt the moment your eyes peeled open this morning was starting to rear its head now. _Fuck_ him.

You stormed back towards your quarters practically vibrating with newfound frustration, mind racing through wicked possibilities of other ways you could externalize the bitterness you felt now. Is this why people punch walls? Thick ropes of exasperation coiled inside you, and it almost felt like you were about to break apart at the seams. Everything was fucked, the closest thing you had to affection was wasted on your captain, friendships of any sort that took so long to inch towards with your squad members would soon evaporate once you'd be placed with a new team, not to mention your once squeaky-clean reputation a bit muddled from sneaking out that second time and now being demoted. And all for what?

The aggravation bubbled over into steamy discontent and then inevitably to helpless sorrow, and you fought back tears, now rounding the corner towards your room. You were way too emotionally exhausted, not to mention hungover, to deal with this right now. Approaching down the hall, you spied someone standing outside your door, and paused. Familiar bright eyes turned to face you.

"Hey," Eren stood almost sheepishly as you neared, taking a step away from the door. "I was about to see if you were in your room."

"Oh, okay," you replied, trying to sound as stable as possible despite the hailstorm of your life crashing down all around you. "Yeah, I was just at a meeting." What did he want?

"Okay, well I just wanted to see if you were alright," he rubbed the back of his neck as if waiting for a response, while you were only waiting for him to continue, and a beat of silence passed. "I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but I heard about you, uh, leaving the squad, so I wanted to check in, I guess."

That's right, he didn't witness the way you were quite cruelly ousted from the team in front of everyone else. Regarding him, you reflected briefly on yet another ruined friendship of yours, someone who only wanted to look out for you, yet was pushed away. You mentally sighed to yourself, he was too good-natured, too true to himself and his beliefs to deserve your dismissiveness just because he told you what you didn't want to hear. If anything, it seems he had been right.

"I'm alright, thank you Eren," you lied.

"What happened to your chin?"

"I drank way too much last night, fell and almost bit my tongue off," you tried to sound lighthearted. "But other than that, yeah, totally fine."

"Are you sure?"

You considered him for a moment, took a deep inhale, and shook your head no, the tears from earlier threatening to fall again. Even though they didn't, the look on your face must have told him enough. 

It was only a few exchanges more before you brought him inside to talk, an apology from you mixed in there along the way. You grimaced to yourself as you both sat on your unmade bed, and watched his eyes trail over to a few dry black splotches on the stone floor by the bedpost--

"I'm sorry, again," you shot a hand out to his arm, pulling his attention back to you, not about to explain what you had yet to clean up. "I...should have listened to you before, if I'm being honest."

"It's fine, I think I understand. Why did he kick you off?" He asked, a bit more comfortable in your presence now. "Did it have anything to do with...you know?"

"No. Well, I don't know, it's a long story," you admitted.

"I'm a good listener," he offered with a gentle smile and you paused for a second to look into his eyes.

Sighing and running through possible outcomes in your mind, you decided it was finally time to stop keeping it all inside. What did you have to lose now anyway? At first, you held his gaze from the very beginning, but as you went on to relive the whole story, it faltered, fixated on the floor. You spared him some of the grittier details, but even so, the extent that you were involved with your captain seemed more extreme to you both once it was said aloud. When you finally finished, you were staring at the clasped hands in his lap.

"I had no idea it went that far," was all he said after a few moments, and you finally brought yourself to look into his eyes, for the first time unreadable.

"It's all my fault," you continued. "I feel so stupid for thinking I'd have control over how it would turn out, for thinking that maybe that he thought I was...special? It feels so ridiculous to say now--"

"You are," Eren cut in reassuringly. You gave him a weak smile.

"People like _you_ are special, Eren." You reminded your headstrong friend. "People like you are so driven, so dedicated. I'm just strong enough to outrun death for now, and I'm..." You stopped to find the right word.

"I'm just lonely." The admission felt so vulnerable but so freeing, and that release only intensified when you met his understanding eyes. "But it got me where I am now and somehow, I still feel that way. Maybe even lonelier." 

It hurt to admit but you couldn't doubt yourself now, not when the only person who'd ever seemed to care or ask about your wellbeing was giving you another chance. The hand that rested on the bed felt warm fingertips brush over it, and relief washed over you as Eren rested his large palm over your cold hand. Maybe he understood, maybe he didn't, but all that mattered at that moment was that he heard you. That he _wanted_ to hear you, even after everything.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, close enough now as if to go in for a hug but didn't, keeping a sincere hand on yours.

"No, I'm-" you stopped yourself. At that moment, it felt like you had needlessly apologized enough for a lifetime. "Thank you. For listening to me."

"I think I understand," he admitted. "The loneliness, I mean." This was a bit of a surprise to you, to be honest. When you looked up from your hands, his eyes were already on you.

It unfolded almost in slow motion, the hand at yours softly trailing up and over, the rustling of Eren's shirt as he leaned in, his lashes fluttering slightly as his eyes closed. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized what was happening. The moment his soft lips grazed yours, you bowed your head down and away, shutting your eyes. The sound of both of your exhales filled the air, highlighted by the seconds of silence that passed as he stilled with his forehead touching yours--he probably feared he had made a mistake.

"Y/N..." Eren breathed and your heart flipped. This is the time when you'd apologize profusely, but no--you were done with that.

Letting out a soft sigh, you leaned into him this time, but pulled your face away and into his shoulder as you brought your bodies closer together. He complied, soft hands pulling you by the waist but you stopped one in its tracks, heart racing. 

It was a confusing moment for you both, a silent but breathy one as your touches felt unfamiliar yet feather-soft. In the next few seconds, you were guiding your friend's hand away from your waist, and as his fingertips brushed over the buttons of your waistband, an unspoken understanding bridged the gap. Even though you faced away from each other, it was as if you were looking into his eyes again, reading his sincere expression, and you let go of his hand.

Erotic wasn't the right way to describe it; it was everything but crude or lust-ridden. The sound of hesitant breaths slowly turned to soft sighs as Eren held you close with the other hand down your pants, affectionate caresses administered with more heedfulness and consideration than you'd gotten used to. You kept your eyes shut the entire time, allowing yourself the clarity and peace you had been lacking for weeks, immersed in the warmth and tenderness of the man who now enveloped you. The tension that had rooted itself on your back for weeks finally broke, and you allowed yourself to be swept away by a much more tenderhearted touch, your head still buried in his shoulder.

Nothing else, not the events of the day or the night before, not the complicated feelings you still had to sort through, not even the man responsible for your distress crossed your mind as you focused on Eren's touch and his heartbeat against your chest.

The knot at the base of your stomach tightened and untightening, your thighs tensing and releasing as you let the sensation take you. Finally, a sharp sigh left your throat and the hand between your thighs stalled but lingered, sensing your release. The impulsive, heated moment finally ended, and you let your head rest on his shoulder as he pulled you in once more, now wrapping both arms around you.

For the first time in a while, you finally felt like maybe affection wasn't beyond reach.

...

A week and one day. That's how long it had been since Levi had crossed paths with you that night after the mission. In fact, he hadn't even so much as seen you from afar. He wondered if it was purposeful.

Firm steps propelled Levi down the hall towards the canteen, later than usual as the sun was setting from beyond the arched windows. As he neared, that same pestering thought flashed in his mind, a small part of him wondering in earnest if he'd finally see you again. With haste, that thought was mentally pummeled to dust as soon as it appeared. Any reminder of your existence was still too painful for now.

Even so, he couldn't avoid it. Every time the thought was successfully banished, it was only a matter of time before it was time for a meal, or training would conclude, or any kind of public gathering happened around the corner, and it would once again make its debut. Maybe he'd get a glimpse of your hair in the crowd, maybe a flash of you entering a room, any indication you weren't just a dream. 

Guilt was no stranger to your captain, and what had transpired with you was no different to him. If it could not be resolved, it was quickly compressed and locked away. At first, he privately wished t for you to come to him should you want a resolution, after all, he'd done his fair share of charging into your life by this point. Concluding this last time that he'd certainly gone too far, uneasiness slowly building with each day you had seemingly disappeared.

Levi's eyes flickered around the canteen as he leaned at the doorway, taking that brief moment to himself to indulge in the nagging thoughts. Of course, you were still nowhere to be found. It was borderline infuriating.

 _Did she actually go so far as to change her schedule around?_ He allowed himself to wonder. _Does she hate me that much?_ Suddenly, a much worse, much more unsettling thought sprung to life when he realized Eren wasn't anywhere to be found either. Now that he thought about it, almost every time he'd surveyed a crowd where you could be expected, Eren was absent as well.

Feeling the muscle of his jaw tense, he pulled himself away from the large wooden doorframe, continuing down the hall once more. _This is ridiculous._ As if his legs had a mind of their own, he was back to stalking down the hall, having had enough of the uncertainty. The main hall was empty, the common area sparsely populated but still no sight of either of you, he was almost to the cadet wing before he stopped himself.

 _What the hell are you doing?_ He grimaced to himself. With a frustrated exhale, he turned himself around, promising he'd check but one more area before finally giving up on this humiliating pursuit for answers.

Climbing the winding stairs of an isolated stone tower, he was almost at the top before glancing out an arched window, gazing out into the now starry night. He peeked down to the terrace-like roof underneath from that soldiers would sometimes retreat to for some fresh air or alone time, often to gaze at the moon, something he himself had done at one time. As soon as he looked, the answer he'd been searching for revealed itself and his eyes narrowed on his target.

There you were, sat perilously close to the edge, outlined in the moonlight but facing away from it as another figure's arm draped around your shoulder. You weren't alone either, a few other unrecognizable cadets gathered and conversing. Blood coursed through his veins, a confounding mix of relief and spite bubbling over as he drank in the sight of you, barely distinguishable in the light, but still certainly you. And you looked...almost content.

 _Is that the new squad?_ He pulled himself away from the opening, breathing deeply. _Control yourself._

But it was too late, he'd already unleashed the numerous possibilities in his mind and looked out once more, itching to uncover the identity of whoever was touching you so casually. Practically squinting, he recoiled when the figure looked up, allowing him a full view of their features. 

Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Eren arc lol
> 
> also if anyone's watched Sharp Objects on HBO, it's one of my favorite shows and there's this one scene where the mc swoops away from a kiss and puts the guy's hand down her pants before it cuts to the next scene and IDK it just stuck with me so that's what I was kind of inspired by for the Eren action. hopefully, it translated lol
> 
> Once again, thank you to everyone who's left kudos/comments/recommended the story to others!


	10. Part Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren admits something to Y/N, and she later finds herself back in the company of her superiors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter, nsfw ahead

Warmth radiated around you, setting your skin ablaze with every movement and electrifying each nerve ending blissfully as you melted into your cot. Was this your cot? No--you didn't have time to fully process what was happening, but that you were in a bed, a conventional one, and you felt _incredible_. The warmth traveled down your sides now, fingertips digging into your skin almost desperately, nails clawing at the flesh. It burned deliciously and the man above used that hold to drive your legs apart with his own, almost forcing himself between them as he crawled over you, hot breath flaming down your neck.

Suddenly, you were on your stomach, moments passing from one to the next in a blur and without clear trajectory nor intention on your part but carrying you through them effortlessly. You felt thighs straddle your own and tensed at the sensation of fingertips dipping between your legs from behind, digging into the soft flesh as they traveled up to hover teasingly over your exposed center. Mewling into the pillow, you squirmed, trapped with your face down and ass high and exposed as he grazed your pulsating clit from above, thumbing absentmindedly at your entrance.

" _I knew you'd come back,_ " a coarse voice cut through the haze.

Attempting to prop yourself up, turn around, and get a look at the source, you floundered, completely immobile. Why can't I use my hands? Flexing what you knew should be your forearms, the feeling of tight leather straps around your wrists and digging into your lower back answered your question.

Burying your head into the cushion in defeat, a robust slap landed on your backside as he grabbed it, sending a muffled groan from your lips. Strands of hair from your head were pulled back viciously, and you gasped for air with your chin high. Your now open and exposed mouth was invaded mere heartbeats later, fingers reaching around your head to dive in and prod at the tender tissue, yanking a cheek back painfully in the process. " _You want me to fuck you?_ "

" _Ah--_ " Spit unwillingly dribbled past your lips as the fingers hooked your open mouth. " _Yes_ ," you managed to slur out.

Once more, time slipped from your grasp, and you were no longer on a bed but on the floor. Reeling from the instantaneous change, a hard boot prodded at your thighs harshly, demanding your attention. Looking up from where you sat on your knees, he was above you, his visage dark and stormy with only low-lidded eyes shining through. With the sound of fingers working at his belt, you stared at the impossibly hard length unleashed before your eyes.

" _Prove it, cadet._ "

Your eyes shot open.

Sitting up and getting a grip on your surroundings, you panted at the sudden awakening. The otherwise dark room bathed in moonlight from the window, and you slumped back in relief on an elbow, prodding into a presence behind you. Eren murmured in his sleep, his back forced now a bit uncomfortably against the stone wall that lined your cot.

Guilt threatened to flood you but it was hastily brushed off--it's not like it was intentional. But still, you've been avoiding him for almost two weeks now, why was he suddenly barging into your dreams again? The first few nights following your decision to cut off all interaction with him completely, he was no stranger when you'd close your eyes, but you were determined to change that.

Since then, you had been working hard on erasing him from your life and mind, keeping an unprecedented distance at all times. It was perhaps a bit extreme, but the more time that passed, the more humiliating it became to think that whenever you would see him again, the last interaction would have been that bloody drunken night. No, you couldn't bear that. So you spent time with Eren whenever possible, training overtime, and getting to know your new team, even specifically deciding against joining Hanji Squad as they often collaborated with your former captain on missions.

Right, you were still doing everything you could, and it was working. Mostly. _Set-backs happen,_ you tried to reassure yourself. If anything, this could be an indication that it's working--just subconscious echoes of a past mistake. A hoarse mumble and hand feeling blindly at your back redirected your attention.

"Hm," Eren hummed at you drowsily, eyes still closed. "Come back."

Glancing over his soft, sleepy features you smiled to yourself, tucking back into him as you laid much like sardines in the narrow space. Content in the warmth of his bare chest against your back, you breathed in his scent and felt him do the same, his nose nuzzled into your hair--it was almost sickeningly sweet. It would have been enough to drag you back to sleep, but you were still buzzing a bit from the intrusive dream.

You'd been sleeping next to each other for some time now, making do with the small space and laying on your sides. You weren't complaining, the warmth and skin-to-skin contact more than satisfied your long-ignored hunger for actual intimacy, not just pleasure. To be fair though, the pleasure aspect was always pretty tame, limited to a hands-only basis. Whether or not it was intentional, you followed Eren's lead nonetheless, generally understanding of his unspoken desire to take things slowly. After all, the last time you rushed into fucking, it flipped your life upside down. However, there was still a bothersome thought swelling in the depths of your mind-- _why doesn't he try to actually fuck me?_

"You're shivering," he whispered hoarsely, voice a bit raspy and arms looped around you. You nuzzled a bit into the smooth bicep under your neck, looking down at his forearm and fingers limply dangling off the edge of the cot.

"Bad dream," you whispered back, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his and almost melting when he squeezed them.

This was the reason you were here and not in that cold office right now, you reminded yourself. The warmth, the affection, the protection you felt--it was wonderful, almost too much to bear. Almost undeserved.

"What was it?"

You paused, unsure how to respond. The silence seemed to answer his question nonetheless, and he exhaled into your hair. You tensed in apprehension, not eager to have this conversation.

"You don't like the new squad?"

"What?" You questioned, not expecting that but admittedly relieved his mind hadn't jumped straight to the captain. "Oh...yeah. No, I like them. I guess I just miss our old one." You weren't _technically_ lying, you did miss the group's unique brand of shenanigans and mischief and the people you'd slowly become friends with--and starting over was no simple task. Yet guilt still stirred uncomfortably in you as you evaded the truth.

"I miss looking at you." His words brought a small smile to your lips.

"You look at me every day, Eren," you chuckled.

"I know," he murmured, "I mean before, in trainings, on the field, doing dishes, whenever you weren't looking."

A flutter of warmth ran through you at the sentiment, and you squeezed his hand back. It was all becoming so unfair to you now, accepting the fondness you had denied for weeks by your captain without so much as a complaint from you. Even so, the affection was still foreign at first, but maybe you were coming around to feeling deserving in some way.

Your mind buzzed as you listened to Eren's steadily slowing breathing as he nestled behind you, drifting back to sleep as you picked apart your own thoughts. It was bizarre to reflect on the person you were when you were sleeping with your captain, how eagerly you took his hand and followed him down a turbulent path of pain and pleasure, despite all the consequences that you both knew would come.

It was so exciting, practically addicting at times, but you had to remind yourself of the sick feeling that followed the whole affair that one night in your room. It was never what you thought it was, it was never that secret mutual admiration you'd privately hoped for that brought you together, it wasn't even a burning, irresistible attraction to each other. This you could know because he practically said it himself; he told you that you were right to think he didn't give a shit about you. You were lonely, and he needed an outlet. You were just available.

You sighed and tried to scrub the painful reflection away from the front of your mind again--you had moved on now. It was good to take action that day you left Hanji's office, it was good that you had put your foot down and decided to leave it in the past from that moment on, to not even give him the satisfaction of knowing how you felt. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Yet a small part of you couldn't help but hope he was wallowing in regret and guilt, hope he felt the frustration of not knowing where you were or what you've been doing, and that he was burning with desire to find you again somehow. The better part of you knew he didn't feel that way at all. That he'd probably just forgotten about you and found the next available woman to take your place, ironically just as you had. Your stomach turned and you tensed against the man you should be thinking about.

"You should sleep," Eren mumbled into your frame, his free arm draped lazily around your waist.

"I'm too awake now," you admitted, shifting against him as you tried to dispel the uncomfortable tension in your lower stomach. It _was_ a bad dream, you should have no desire to relive any intimate moments with your captain, especially not now that your legs were tangled with someone else. Yet, you couldn't help the physical response thrumming between your thighs, pestering for attention. Not to mention, you just spent the last few minutes feeling sorry for yourself--some relief would be good.

"Shh," he comforted, running the hand around your waist along your arm up to your hair, stroking at the scalp tenderly. _Wrong way_ , you thought and shifted slightly back against him again. You felt his strong thigh stiffen against from where it was pressed up behind yours as you situated your ass softly into his crotch, careful not to move too aggressively.

"I mean...I don't know if I can sleep yet--"

"Oh?" He cut in, and slowly you felt his lips travel down, seeking the back of your neck. "I think I can help with that," he whispered mischievously, noticeably a bit more awake and pulling you even closer. The hold around you tightened and you felt that same tense thigh from behind nudge between your knees, propping them open slightly. It was only moments before his hand traveled down to the waistband of your underwear, smooth fingertips swimming under to glide over your wet slit, not hesitating.

Eren's touch was always considerate and feather-light at first, taking the time to trace along each ridge and dampen the pads of his fingers before finally landing over your eager clit. It was a bit surprising even to you how drenched you were, was it from the dream? You wondered nervously before immediately clearing your mind of it--there was no way you were about to let thoughts of _him_ intrude this moment as well.

Firm and precise circles worked into the swelling nub of nerves, triggering sparks of building pleasure and you pressed back reflexively into his frame. You were letting out soft sighs, squirming slightly in his hold and unavoidably grinding back against him. The crotch that was once easy to fit yourself against seemed to strain against your ass, a hint of a growing erection starting to ask for attention. He was definitely getting turned on too, you thought as his circles into you became firmer, sending a wave of much-needed friction through and evoking a soft groan from you.

Hot breath sent shivers down your neck as he mouthed your name into the skin, gently thrusting his lap back into you this time. That time, you definitely felt it, his hard length strained against his sleep shorts and your backside. "Y/N," Eren spoke again, seeking your attention.

"Yeah?" You breathed, struggling a bit to keep your composure. He was completely flush with you, soft skin and the thin fabric of your undergarments mixing and colliding with every roll of your hips together as his fingers circled more urgently into your weak spot.

"Ah--fuck," the hand at your clit pulled away and out of your underwear suddenly and you whined softly in protest, his hips pulling away briefly too. The soft snap of a waistband reached your ears before his now freed length prodded your ass again, and his hand was immediately back between your thighs.

You took the opportunity before he could even ask, reaching back around to gently grasp the warm head, grazing your fingers over the balmy, sensitive apex of nerve endings. A muffled grunt vibrated from him as his lips returned to the back of your neck, back to rubbing your clit encouragingly and slipping down to occasionally tease your entrance.

"You're so fucking wet," he groaned hotly, and that same wretched guilt halted you before you had to stop yourself, _again_. The dream was long gone now, you told yourself in that split second, the evidence of your arousal was exclusively from Eren, why would you even think different? Thankfully he continued and stopped your distraction in its tracks. "I can't wait to finally fuck you," he whispered seductively.

"Why don't you?" You whispered back, having fully taken his dick in your hand now, thumb brushing over the sensitive spot as you stroked him more firmly into your backside.

Without warning, you felt your entrance swell with new long-awaited friction against your walls, two of Eren's fingers slipping into you easily. Your legs spread on their own as you gasped at the sensation, and the thigh propping you open from behind took the opportunity to invade the space, pressing up into you now as well. "Maybe I like making you cum like this," he teased, his lips dragging along your shoulder now.

It was practically a game you'd play now, nodding at the idea of fucking but inevitably falling short, only really using the spoken urges to coax orgasms out of each other. But this was different for some reason; it's not as if you were lacking in pleasure, but it had been too long since you had been properly fucked, missing more each day the feeling of being truly filled. It was almost as if the dream, unwanted as it was, reminded you of the real thing, and you whimpered as his fingers slipped out of you and back to your clit.

"Eren," you expertly ran your closed hand up and down the head and shaft, luring a moan out of him and you felt his fingers at your clit falter. "I want you."

"Ah-" He panted briefly as you jerked him, the fingers working pleasure into you stilling momentarily and you took the cue to focus on stroking his swollen length, trying to excite him enough to maybe elicit the reaction you wanted. "Are you serious?" He whispered quickly, and your heart leaped.

You used the last bit of strength in your already strained forearm to guide his length down the curve of your ass and against your slit from behind, the head of his dick now prodding between your thighs. Both shivering simultaneously at the brand new contact, his girth sliding along the length of your slit as you lifted a leg to grant him more access to explore. His tip ghosted your clothed entrance and your breath caught in your throat, mentally begging him to just rip your panties off already.

In that exact moment, against all better judgment, the most shameful thought crossed your mind and you felt your clit pulse against your will, visualizing it. Your mind raced and wondered freely what if--at that second, Levi had finally given up on enduring the silence, sat up from his desk and stalked over to the cadet wing, charged into your room in the middle of the night demanding answers, only to find a full view of you arched and writhing on Eren's dick, caught in the act entirely. Maybe he'd rip you both from the bed, maybe he'd unleash some of that same suppressed fury once more, bend you over and just fuck you himself, make you plead for it by name, not stop until you were shaking and begging him to fill you with his cum--your eyes immediately clenched shut at the guilty thought.

Cursing yourself silently for even picturing it, as involuntary as it was, you desperately tried to dispel the overwhelming surge of excitement the thought sent straight to your cunt. What the hell was wrong with you? The head of Eren's dick ghosted the wet fabric over your clit and you were snapped back to reality, absolutely swimming with disappointment and frustration, flinching at the contact. 

Eren must have noticed and pulled back a bit, and you stilled. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's fine-"

"We don't have to. I'm not too sure either, to be honest." His words faltered a bit and were betrayed by a noticeable twitch of his dick.

"Wait," you shifted up a bit, a new idea popping into your mind; you were going to make this right. "Lie back, Eren."

He watched, engrossed as you slipped out of the cot and allowed him to scoot to the center, cock out and on his back while to went to straddle his knees, sitting up on your heels. His dreamy gaze followed as you pulled the nightshirt over your head, leaving you bare save for your underwear, the air chilling your already alert nipples. Running your hands up his thighs now, his breath hitched when you wasted no time and arched forward to lick a fat, wet stripe along the underside of his cock to the head, feeling it strain against your tongue.

"Holy shit," he muttered with widened eyes, sending a wave of pride through you. This too was uncharted territory, not having given oral to each other yet for some still unknown reason, and if you had to be the one to make the move, then so be it. You kissed under the tip, wetting your lips and letting them glide as you mouthed the head. It was a somewhat simple and animalistic way of approaching your dilemma, deciding to blow him almost as retribution for your impure thoughts. No--not retribution, you thought, it was a reminder. This is the man you were with, this is who you want and who wants you, and you were more than happy about it. In fact, you were going to prove it.

It twitched unexpectedly in your mouth and you hummed around it, looking up at his brows knitting and supple chest tensing--he seemed a bit more overwhelmed than you would have expected. Your gaze traveled to his limp hands at his sides and you unlatched, pulling away only momentarily to guide one of his hands to your head.

"You like that?" You whispered, turning on your seduction up as much as possible and only wanting to focus on giving him pleasure right now. He nodded with a strained expression as your wet lips dragged back over the glistening head teasingly, and let his fingers sink into your hair in anticipation. 

"Yes," he breathed and your tongue dropped to swirl around that same apex of nerves right under the head, the most sensitive spot. It practically spasmed on your tongue and the tension in his voice was apparent. "Oh shit--listen, I haven't..."

You looked up at him as he faltered, and then it all hit you at once.

"Wait, really?"

He looked down at you and nodded somewhat nervously, locking eyes. So that's why things never went further, you thought and tried your best to not consider all the implications of his confession, as surprising as it was. You supposed it did make sense, after all, it was a miracle you got this close to him with Mikasa around, having the extra duties to thank for all that alone time with him. 

The vulnerability of the moment was palpable as you considered each other. At the end of the day, you concluded, it changed nothing. He was still the same person, and at that moment you still wanted to give him pleasure. If anything, this revelation would empower you to accomplish that even more. With newfound motivation, you smirked up at him and let your tongue stick out to run along the underside as you took the whole head in your mouth.

"Oh- fuck," he groaned as you broke the tension and took him as far as he could go in one thrust, wet lips sliding down the shaft as your tongue never left that spot under the head. As you went down, your hands still gripped his thighs and your ass arched into the air as you let him bob in the back of your throat, putting all the skills you'd gathered over the past few weeks to good fucking use.

The hand at your hair gripped at stands of hair haphazardly, as if wanting to take a fist of it but resisting. Pulling back along the shaft, you glanced up at him for only a second before taking him deep again, finally picking up the pace. It was moments before you had found a good rhythm, pushing past the irritating alarms setting off in the back of your throat. You wanted to make him cum more than anything, after all--it was working, Eren and his pleasure was the only thing in your mind now, nothing about that other man.

"It's--you're so good," he praised, voice strained as he throbbed in your mouth, watching it slide in and out of your lips. You smirked internally; he had no idea. You dug your thumbs into his inner thighs as you sucked more intently, moving closer to the tip as you bobbed tight rings over the ridge and swirled your tongue over the weak spot. 

You pulled away with a pop to let him see the spit stringing from your lips and took his length in your hand to jack it and keep him close to the edge. He looked so vulnerable, so enraptured, and seeing him practically twitching from your actions suddenly a completely new brand of intensity flooded your brain, your eyes trained on him like a hawk. "You wanna cum in my throat, baby?"

His eyes widened and you jerked him harder, sending his head falling back into the pillow and groaning out an affirmative, his thighs tense and abdomen flexed as he tried not to buck up into your hand. "Yes, please--"

It stopped you in your tracks. His bright eyes bore down at you with parted lips as your hand stopped jerking him entirely, holding his erection firmly as it throbbed impatiently in your hand. Your eyes flashed with an unknown emotion, a completely foreign but exciting desire bubbling up and the words left your lips before you even thought them. "Say it again."

His soft breaths and buzzing member in your hand told you he was close, and his lips hung open in confused arousal but complied nonetheless, entirely flustered. "Please."

You brushed your thumb over the nerve endings of the head and raised a brow. With breathless frustration and new desperation, he pleaded again. "Oh fuck, please--please..."

Arousal flooded you at his words--where was this coming from? The question flashed in your mind but dissipated immediately, the new feeling taking over entirely as your next words spilled from your lips without a second thought. "Please what?" 

"Please--fuck, Y/N, please let me cum in your mouth."

He watched your eyes darken as you took him in your mouth again, that little display of dominance catching you both off guard but turning him on like crazy as you used his vulnerability to hint at underlying and unspoken desires. You took him deeper than before, lips pressed against the skin of his lower abdomen and sucking intensely as the head hit the back of your throat continuously. It was a completely new feeling, surprising even you. 

"Oh shit--okay," Eren panted, member spasming uncontrollably in your mouth. "I'm gonna cum."

Your eyes flickered over to him and his reddened cheeks to find his eyes shut and brows knitted, and with several more intense bobs of your head, you finally felt him paint your throat. You were so focused, so lasered in with the unearthed feelings you couldn't quite name yet that you did not relent even as he came, drawing it out as much as possible until he finally stopped twitching in your mouth. You flashed him a small smile as you pulled away with a closed mouth full of cum and soundlessly sought a small trash bin to discreetly spit.

Eren watched you climb contently back into bed as if nothing had happened, nuzzling forward into his chest this time. The glimpse you caught of his sated yet still a bit flustered expression suggested he was looking for something to say, but simply pressed his lips to your forehead instead, snaking his arms around you once again as you drifted back to sleep together.

Whatever that feeling was, the one that brought out a spark of authority from you, wherever it came from, it didn't matter just yet to you as you felt it finally die down inside. Whatever it was, it worked--and it felt good. As you let sleep take you, you privately hoped it wasn't a one-off.

\---

The canteen was nearly empty, fading buzzes of conversation filing out of the doors by the time you had slipped in undetected for breakfast. Other meal times were easier on you, stretching out a bit longer so you'd find at least some company no matter when you went, but breakfast was short and sweet, making it a bit of a pain to work around. Pocketing an apple and chunk of bread for later, as was all you could do now that you'd committed to avoiding any possibility of encountering your former captain, you were almost out the door before you heard your name called.

Swiveling around, you saluted as section leader Hanji approached with a bob in her step, waving a quick dismissal at your stance. "Glad I caught you in time! I could have sworn I didn't see you all breakfast." 

"Oh yeah, I came a little later today," you replied, considering her words. "Do you need me for anything?"

"Definitely," her eyes hid behind her shiny lenses as you tried to read her expression. "I don't want to give anything away...or make any promises," she nudged your elbow with her own, "but come to my office after dinner. There might be some exciting opportunities for you on the horizon."

You raised a brow and tried to match her excited tone despite your confusion. "Really? What do you mean?"

"Oh! I've said too much already," she simpered much like a doting aunt and you couldn't help but smile as she hustled away to the door, reminding you of the time once more. Being on Hanji's good side was an undeniable plus in your situation, and you left to training with a smile on your face. 

The day came and went as you resisted the urge to let your mind swim with possibilities of what she could have meant. It was was hard to describe, but since that night with Eren earlier in the week, there was definitely a slight shift in you. Keyword being slight, but still, you found it easier to keep tabs on yourself, keep your anxieties from overwhelming you internally despite however composed you appeared on the outside. You wondered if perhaps the inside was starting to match the outside. Just slightly.

By the time you found yourself knocking on her door, you did a double-take of yourself as you waited, hearing some muffled conversation from inside. You slipped a hand up to your chest, resting it over your heart curiously. It was beating evenly, not racing at all. Is this what it felt like to be secure? Dropping your hand and smiling a bit internally, you allowed yourself to take pride in the modest progress, giving yourself a small figurative trophy. Maybe you'd even actually go to breakfast tomorrow.

Hanji opened the door and invited you in soon after, and as your eyes adjusted to the lower light of the considerably large, somewhat cluttered study, you felt the stupid trophy shatter at your feet. Commander Erwin and Captain Levi, both stood near a broad desk, turned away from what seemed like a tense discussion towards where you stood, their eyes flickering over you. You swallowed and shifted into a salute, immediately stripping any emotion from your face as you greeted them. The blond looked as upright and honorable as always, a hint of victory on his features as the darker-haired man appeared held here completely against his will, brows still furrowed and jaw clenched as if just pulled away from a losing argument. You met his steel-trap gaze for just a moment, unable to stop the instinct to see the face you hadn't in weeks--he looked tired. And pissed off. What were you walking into?

"At ease," your commander's rich voice was the first to speak, and you kept your eyes on his gentle features despite still feeling a different pair on you. "I assume Hanji's given you the gist of things. Please, sit."

You looked at her in confusion but followed their lead and approached the seating area of four armchairs around a stone fireplace. Hesitantly rounding over to it and stealing a glance at Levi begrudgingly taking a seat diagonal of you, you noticed his silently fuming expression. As you took the one next to Hanji, you desperately wished for her to face you and catch your silent plea for information. Unfortunately, she paid you no mind, reaching over to a brass tray full of darkly colored bottles from the table at her side, pouring herself a glass. Okay, this was getting a little too casual now for your liking now, even if it was just Hanji.

"My apologies, Commander," you finally spoke, shifting in the plush chair and keeping your eyes trained only on Erwin. "But I'm not sure what's going on; Hanji didn't really have time to give me details-"

"I just wanted to see the look on your face when we all told you," she grinned, in near humorous contrast to the commander's stoic gaze and the captain's lethal negative energy filling the room. "You're back on Levi squad! Isn't that great?"

Your brain lagged at her words, confused as all hell before Commander Erwin spoke again. "It looks like you've got some people in your court, Y/N. I assume you made a good enough impression on your former comrades, as they've made several suggestions about re-welcoming you." 

You blinked at him. Really? You found it hard to believe a few pesters from your old friends would be enough to get Levi himself to make that decision, and the clear reluctance on his face confirmed it. 

"Well, it was really one _especially_ adamant suggestion in particular," Erwin continued, noticing your skepticism. "It's good of you to make a friend of--"

" _Boyfriend_ ," Hanji corrected with a mischievous glance at you, of course, up to date with the gossip.

"--of Eren," he resumed. "He fought hard for you, even going over our captain here's head and coming to me directly. His resolve is an asset at worst." You could spy a grimace from the darker-haired man from the corner of your eye, his dead eyes boring holes in Hanji.

"It's a cancer at best," Levi muttered finally, earning him a sharp look from Erwin.

"Levi." Erwin spoke firmly, an unspoken warning and Levi stilled, tense. Part of you was dying to know what they had been talking about earlier.

You surveyed them all briefly, unconvinced and extremely uncomfortable with whatever tone was established before you even set foot in the room. Not to mention, why hadn't Eren told you about this? Sure, maybe he wanted you both to be on the same squad again, and in some ways, it had definitely been enough time for you to have gotten over your captain, but could he not have at least asked you if that's what you even wanted? His self-confidence astounded you sometimes.

You swallowed your pride and finally acknowledged the brooding man. "I'm sorry, but, I have to ask, is the Captain...okay with this?"

For the first time since you entered, his eyes shot to yours and you suppressed the hitch in your throat, blinking and looking away. In that half-second, you had seen his low-lidded, displeased gaze, his indifferently crossed arms, his parted legs as he leaned slightly back in his seat... No, enough. Don't even think about it.

"Those are my orders, yes," Erwin dead-panned, and you subtly raised an eyebrow. "Eren asked _me_ to reconsider you, and I have no reason to believe you cannot thrive if given another opportunity. In the worst case, I'm sure you both can sort things out."

You were stunned, why in the world has he been so...nice to you? Maybe your skills were impressive enough, but you mostly understood it was probably because it was 'adamantly' requested by humanity's best hope at the moment, Erwin's prized chess piece himself. 

Also, why had no one stopped to consider if you even were _willing_ to rejoin? You guessed that as your superiors, to them a promotion is a promotion at the end of the day, and who wouldn't want a second chance? Not to mention that they were unaware of the real underlying reasons for your removal. Besides, you were feeling a lot more self-assured. It could be nice to be around Eren more, and you did miss your friends...

"Thank you, Commander," you spoke carefully, thinking of ways to skate around outright rejecting the hand Erwin's extended to you. "I really appreciate it--seriously, but I'm honestly unsure. I don't want to step on any toes-" 

He was staring straight at you. You could feel it.

"-would it be totally inappropriate for me to ask for some time to consider it?"

"Of course not," Erwin spoke, warm as always. 

A few more minutes passed of light reassurances and a brief explanation of a transition timeline should you decide to accept the promotion was given, with you keeping your eyes almost painfully locked on Erwin the whole time. To him, you must have seemed completely engrossed by his words, in reality only trying to avoid the swirl of butterflies--not the good kind--in your stomach when you looked at Levi. In fact, you didn't even acknowledge him when the four of you finally stood to conclude the quaint meeting. Walking over to the door, you noticed your former captain linger in Hanji's office rather than follow you and Erwin out, which you sighed in relief at. 

"My apologies if this was all a surprise to you, cadet L/N. I had intended for Hanji to gauge your receptiveness beforehand," your commander spoke as the door shut behind you, leaving the two of you alone as you walked down the moonlight-lit hallway of superior's offices. "I also assumed Eren would have said something." 

"I did too," you kept your tone lighthearted. "But it's no issue. I can't say enough how much I appreciate your efforts and for offering me another chance," you glanced over at his tall frame, "but honestly, I just don't think Captain Levi would even let me blink without permission if I came back. Or he would just find the next excuse to throw me back out again."

"He's a difficult man for certain, I know this more than most. Consequently, I also know that his demeanor is not indicative of his inner world." He slowed to a stop beside you as the two of you now stood between offices in the hallway. "Y/N, you have nothing to worry about. You're an asset to the squad and to Eren, and I'm sure whatever differences you and the captain have can be worked out in time."

Oh. So that's definitely why you were wanted back. You couldn't help but feel just a bit dejected--what, were you supposed to be like Eren's cheerleader?

You thanked him, wished each other goodnight, and watched him walk back to his office, in the opposite direction. Huh, so he only walked this way to speak with you. 

Your eyes on Commander Erwin's back were distracted by the opening of Hanji's door, and as soon as you peered a presence exiting you swiveled back around to resume your trek down the hall, and back to your room. There was _no way_ you were about to be alone in the hallway with him too now after that tense meeting. You quite literally held your breath as you walked to the end of the hall, unfortunately, where both the stairs and the captain's office were located. 

The soft sound of a door closing far behind you, on the opposite end of the hallway signaled Commander Erwin had officially entered his own office, and it was seconds before you felt the fabric of your shirt roughly fisted. Your back hit the cool stone wall.

"What the fuck kind of game are you playing?" Levi demanded, his forearm pressed into your sternum as he held you by the collar of your shirt, his knee digging into your thigh as he immobilized you. 

"Excuse me?" You huffed, trying to hide how flustered the sudden action had you. It was almost weird now, looking into his stormy eyes so close after so long, but you kept it together. You simply refused to let yourself show any emotion to him.

"You disappear, get your little fuck-buddy to go over my head to Erwin, then act like you don't even want back on?" His fist of your shirt tightened with each word and you tried not to notice his marble-like skin in the moonlight. His breath smelled sweet, like tea leaves. "For what, to torment me?"

"I did no such thing," you replied, keeping your tone even, something he must have picked up on now as you spied a brow of his perk up slightly. Levi hadn't seen this version of you in a while, the collected, cool-toned, reserved side. "And I'm not acting."

His eyes darted over your features, searching for any cracks in the mask. There were none. 

"I'd like to go back to my room now." You said simply and he raised his brows in amusement.

"Tough shit," he responded, finally unpeeling you from the wall and taking you by the wrist to his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maaaannnn, am I excited to write the next chapter. I almost waited to double update so they could be read together but I had already taken so long for this one :( sorry to those leaving sweet comments/msgs about updating!
> 
> this also took forever to write cause I'm not a huge Eren girl but I like writing smut and I thought the Eren/Reader could show some important character development. sorry to any of you who maybe expected dom Eren right out the gate hehe
> 
> ill update again sometime this weekend!


	11. Part Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The captain and the reader finally hint at some private feelings, and the reader makes a self-indulgent choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up (idk what/how much to say because I don't want to spoil the whole chapter lol but), somewhat toxic levi, positively toxic Y/N, forceful alcohol and aggression, some hurt/comfort, lots of feelings lol

You sucked in air as you were pulled firmly forward, ahead of him into his office, a bit winded from having held your breath and being sized up against the wall. Levi closed the door behind you with his foot and you wrenched your wrist from his hold, turning to face him.

"What do you want?" You kept your voice unyielding and rigid.

"Cut it out," he grumbled, pulling his uniform jacket off and stalking past you to the cabinet you had become all too familiar with in the past.

"What?"

"That tone, you're acting like you used to," Levi spoke bitterly, popping the cork of an amber bottle.

You stared at his back, the chest harness straining against his shirt, the undercut peaking out from strands of raven hair--it was still a bit weird to be alone with him again. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Like you were before," Glaring as he returned to face you, you took a reflexive step back. "Like you're holding back, like you're not a real person," his words actually stung for a moment, but you kept your lips pressed together. He jutted the bottle out into your chest, your hands reflexively catching it. "Drink."

You considered your options, refusing to break eye contact first. "Is this some sort of order, Captain?"

"It wasn't a request." He said matter-of-factly, eyes as uncompromising as yours, and you suppressed a frown.

"As far as I'm concerned," you took the heavy glass in one hand, "I don't take orders from anyone but my squad leader."

"I am your squad leader."

"Not yet. I still have time to decide."

"Why did you disappear?" His words caught you off guard and you cocked your head at him.

"I was done with you," you said simply, and saw a flash of something unknown in his unrelenting stare. Fear? No, anger. Shit, he was good at masking his emotions, but so were you. "And you were done with me, remember?"

"You're ridiculous," he sneered. "No one pulls a stunt like that because they're just fucking ' _done_.'"

"Language, Captain," you repressed a laugh but couldn't help but feel a bit victorious. So far, you were handling this perfectly, too well even, giving him none of the answers he searched for while getting under his skin--it's what he deserved. Keeping your distance must have been effective, he must have actually felt the rejection, you realized. Now you were the one wielding emotional power. It was honestly thrilling, no matter how much you knew you shouldn't spend one more second here.

You chuckled at his burning eyes, raising the bottle to your lips and taking a healthy swig. If Levi wanted to waste his booze, then so be it, he wouldn't be getting anything else from you for it. You ignored the burn with all your willpower; he didn't need to know it had been weeks since you'd last even looked at alcohol. "So many questions, Levi. You were so quiet in the meeting, what, too scared to ask me then?"

He didn't answer but you saw a flicker of indignance at your use of his name, scanning your features in disdain at your dismissive attitude. You shrugged and took another healthy sip as if it were your last, feeling it slosh down into your stomach. For some reason, you flashed back to the first time you'd visited his office, when he called you a coward. You wondered if he'd say the same now. 

"If that's all, I'd like to return to my room now."

"No," he spoke militarily and you rolled your eyes. "Sit down, cadet."

"Hm," you mocked, leaning in as you spoke and feeling your breath tickle his nose. "It's late, Captain. I don't want to keep Eren waiting."

You saw something snap as he twisted his face from yours, wrenching you by the wrist to the seating area, liquid sloshing up from the bottle over your fingers from the sudden movement. Excitement bubbled up in you unwillingly, not clear yet from what exactly. All you knew was that this was an unexpected and thrilling challenge you were now winning. Levi must have caught wind of your smugness and set you down on the modest couch with aggravation, his hand gripping the back frame and looming over you. 

"How long were you fucking him?" He questioned, losing his cool a bit. "Keeping up that act, like you wanted to know if _I_ was fucking anyone else, all those hours of extra duties with him, how long?"

You blinked up at him, not expecting this and deciding whether or not to lie. "What do you care?" 

Levi surprised you again, wrapping a strong hand over the one holding the bottle and bringing it to your lips, tilting it back. You squirmed with wide eyes, bringing up the other hand as if it push it away but it was no use, his strength unmatched as you caught the fiery liquid in your mouth, swallowing in short spurts and unable to mask the burn. Gasping for air as he finally relented, you wiped your mouth angrily, scowling at his equally furious expression.

"What the _fuck_?" You fumed, jerking his hold from your hand.

"Tell me," his eyes were burning coals on you. You resisted the urge to spit in his face and pressed your lips in a line.

When you saw the flash of his hand reaching for the bottle again, you flinched away, trapped but unwilling to endure that again. For the first time, you were a bit intimidated. "I didn't, alright? Christ, we never did anything. I was only with you, you fucking psycho."

"Language, cadet," he quipped. "You expect me to believe that?"

"I'm surprised you care enough to ask. Didn't you already make up your mind about me? That all I do is spread my legs, right?" _Shit, don't engage_ , you reminded yourself, suddenly aware of the slight warmth in your veins. The bottle was about a third empty, and you made a mental note not to let it go any further.

"That's not true," he seemed so exhausted yet so vehement at that moment, but you could have laughed out loud at his words.

"Then why say it?" Now you were feeling his frustration. " _In vino veritas_ , right?"

"I'm not surprised you believe that too. With your habits and all." 

It was suddenly very difficult to keep calm. "Thanks for reminding me, Captain. All I do is spread my legs _and_ drink. A very convenient combination for your dick, that's why you're trying to get me drunk, isn't it?"

"No," he said simply and you waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Then what the hell do you want?"

"I told you," he was as exasperated as you were, "I want you to cut the shit. Tell me what you're really thinking." You caught yourself as you started to respond. He was looking for answers, and you were unwilling to give him any. 

"I don't owe you whatever you think I do. We can leave it all in the past, I'm happy now, alright?"

"You haven't been happy for a second of your life, cadet." His words were biting, and for a second you found yourself at a loss. 

"You..." You searched his serious face for rifts. "You don't know that."

"I do," his eyes were burning. "Because we're the same." Your mind raced back to that drunken night when he'd hoisted you to your room and insisted the same, and you had buckled. But this time was different, you wouldn't let him get to you, even if he wasn't wrong in some ways.

"Sounds like a guilty conscience to me." For a second, you saw anger flash in his eyes, his thin brows tensing, but it quickly disappeared. "We're nothing alike."

You almost swung at him when you saw the hand reach for the bottle again, but instead of forcing it to your lips, Levi went to take a deep drink instead, adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. Unlatching and looking down at you, he had an infuriatingly curious glint in his eye, like your words had no effect on him. 

"Why did you go off-grounds that night?" 

_Because I was tired of feeling lonely_. You pressed your lips together, again, not expecting this. What was he getting at? "Because I wanted to."

"Hm," he played with the bottle between his fingers. "You want a lot of things, don't you? I don't see you chasing every passing thought. You've always followed orders, kept out of trouble. There was a reason."

Well, he got you there. "And what reason is that?"

"Like you don't know," he broke your eye contact with another swig from the bottle. Loneliness, unhappiness, yearning, all things he was confronting you with that you had no expectation of discussing tonight, and the slight buzz you'd caught wasn't helping. It was getting harder not to humor him, as if he was purposefully letting the veil between you slip just a little for you to peer in.

To your surprise, once getting his fill he extended the bottle to you gently rather than forcibly, offering it. You considered him for a few moments before cautiously taking it. Better with you than with him. A few more seconds of silence passed before a realization struck you, and you couldn't help but ask, breaking your code of indifference for just a moment. "How did you...find me? That night, how did you know?"

"You're not as sneaky as you probably think, cadet," there was a glimmer of humor in his voice despite his exterior. "I have a clear view of the stables from my window."

"And you didn't...stop me? Could you even tell it was me?"

"I couldn't at first, and I don't like to concern myself with whatever bullshit you cadets get into," he was being honest, that much you could tell. "But I thought it might be you, it looked like you. I wasn't sure, because I knew you would never do something like that, but then...' he trailed off for a second.

"...But then I thought, if it was you, wherever you were going, alone like that--if you got in trouble--," it was clearly difficult for him to articulate, "you wouldn't know what you were getting into. So I followed, and when I saw your horse outside the tavern...and then you, completely out of your mind. There was no way you could defend yourself." 

"So, what then? You were in a chivalrous mood one night?"

"I felt responsible, somehow," he admitted and you raised a brow at him. "Like I could see myself in your shoes, lonely, frustrated, in need of release. I couldn't let you risk so much for some man off the street to take advantage of that."

In another world, this could have sounded sweet, caring even, but you had more history now than that first night. If anything, knowing how callous he had been with you, it sounded controlling, imposing, dismissive of your free will. It made your blood boil just a bit, knowing after all that how little you could trust that there was even a spark of meaning in his words, and couldn't help but chuckle hoarsely despite his earnest expression.

"I appreciate the concern, Captain. But that wasn't your decision to make. Who knows, maybe we could have avoided this whole affair if you had just let me do what I want, like everyone else."

"I tried to," he countered, leaning in a bit more and you pressed back into the couch. "I know I shouldn't have, but I tried to let you do _whatever_ you wanted. With me." He petered off at the end but you understood him nonetheless, he had never denied you when you went to him for anything, even if it was just sex and booze. "Was it not enough?" 

Internally, you were fighting hard to find the right words. It was hard to know if you could trust him, let alone accept his divulgence, but at the very least aware he was sharing parts of himself once it was clear you were refusing to. Still, the moments of silence that passed only reminded you of where you were, in his office, sharing liquor and insights with a man you'd sworn to keep out of sight for as long as possible. You were suddenly painfully aware of his hand still wrapped around the back frame of the couch, his knees digging into yours from where you sat as he interrogated from above. 

It was being an issue, and fast. His closeness, his feelings shining through, the warmth in your veins, it was all leading to an ending you couldn't afford. You needed to snap out of it. It didn't matter what he said, or if he was being sincere, it was late and you had somewhere else to be. You had _someone_ else to be with tonight.

"Why am I here, Captain?" You tried to turn it back on him. "I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, and I'm not going to fuck you. So what do _you_ really want?"

Levi considered your words for a moment.

"I want," his voice strained, frustration apparent, "I want you to tell me what to do."

Your mind lagged. "What?"

"How do I fix it?" His eyes were no longer on you, his figure tense as he loomed over you.

"Captain--"

"You wanted passion, right? Connection, vulnerability?" The words spilled from his mouth. "Is that what you get from him?" You were at a loss at the sudden change in tone, feeling the wall you were putting up crack and sway.

"I'm...not--"

"You were right. I have enough guilt for several lifetimes over, Y/N," you tried to ignore the flutter in your chest when he said your name. "My conscience eludes me at best. It's my burden to carry, and I couldn't keep myself from involving you. I tried to fix it by forcing you away, but it didn't work, and now..."

"Levi," you allowed a glimmer of softness in your voice, unsure how to handle his delicate, directionless words. "There is nothing to fix, but I know what you mean. I feel guilty too."

A defeated chuckle left his lips and you stilled. "Don't do that," he breathed.

"Do what?"

"Make me think you understand. Make me fall for you again." Your heart lurched to your throat and his eyes met yours.

" _What_?"

"There is nothing for you to feel guilty over," he continued, skimming past what he just said. Your chest was beating fast, mind, heart, and being screaming at each other to make sense of your situation, not helped whatsoever by the increasing fuzz of your impending intoxication. _He couldn't possibly have meant that, right?_

"I do though," you swallowed, shrinking a bit as your mind raced. "Feel guilty, I mean."

"Why?" His steel eyes were back on you.

 _For thinking about you while my boyfriend's hands are down my pants--_ you blinked the thought away. "I don't know," you somewhat admitted. "You made me feel like...like Iruined everything. Like I was a fuck-up."

"I know. I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry." You flashed back once more to the first night in his office, when he had apologized over and over, breathless between kisses. You stared at his lips helplessly, letting your guard down just a bit. He was so close now.

"Does he make you feel like that?" His voice was barely above a whisper and guilt-tinged, the softness swimming in the air around you as the world narrowed to this small space between the two of you, a bubble of tension about to burst.

You shook your head no.

"Does he fuck you like I do?"

 _Oh, no--you weren't going there._ "Levi--"

"Does he make your legs shake when you cum?" His voice was so low, so daring, and your body ignited at his words, using every ounce of willpower not to let it show on your face, looking up to meet his eyes. His hand squeezed the frame of the couch, his forearms flexing; you could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Does he make you moan like I do? Say his name?" He pressed with more confidence and you shifted back into the couch uncomfortably, your eyes begging him to stop.

"Answer me," his breath was mixing with yours, so close. "Does he satisfy you?"

Overwhelmed was an understatement, and you felt the last bit of restraint slip away. You couldn't help but feel a shiver of humiliation as he watched you shake your head no once more.

Your lips were burning with shameful need, hyperaware of how close they were to his as you began to accept how evil you truly could be, half-ready to let him fuck you into the couch until the sun rose should he take you now. His sharp features softened, and to your surprise, he let go of the frame, pulling away from the couch and flooding the space between you with empty air.

"You're free to leave, cadet." 

You tried not to gawk at him. Slowly and silently, you set the bottle down, defeated and dirty. Even though nothing had actually happened between you, he had done it, coaxed your shameful feelings from you, he had won. 

As you went to stand before him now, the room spun for a moment, the alcohol setting in. He must have noticed, going to hold your elbows while you regain your balance, and you searched his eyes. He looked so tired. You might as well ask now.

"Did you mean it?" You didn't have to tell him what you were referencing. 

A beat. "Yes."

You scoured him for insincerity. There was none.

You took him by the sides of his shirt, and in seconds his lips met yours just as desperately. Nothing mattered as you melted together, both opening your mouths to crash into each other breathlessly, hands moving without tact and roaming, pulling closer and closer. You couldn't help but groan softly against him as his tongue flicked under your teeth, slithering past your lips boldly as his fingers dug into your hips like it was the last time.

Your lips still connected and burning together, he nudged you back a step and you blindly accepted it. Letting him guide you back to the couch, he kept your hips flush with his as he invaded your parting legs, his strong chest pressed almost painfully against your breasts. You felt your nipples harden and your cunt jolt as he pressed his crotch into yours--it felt too good, too intoxicating and electrifying, you were turned on past the point of return. Just as you were praying to whatever god you hoped there was for forgiveness, he pulled away from your mouth, inhaling through his teeth.

You froze, legs practically wrapped around his midsection with your arms looped around him and noses touching. "Levi..."

"He's waiting for you," he whispered with dark eyes, squeezing the flesh of your hips.

"I don't care," you whispered back sinfully, completely tunnel-visioned on Levi, his wet lips and dark hair in his eyes before his face dove into your neck, drawing a soft gasp from you.

" _Leave him_ ," he murmured against the flesh, peppering it with open-mouthed kisses, his voice like gravel so close to your ear.

"Shit-" you barely got out, writhing against him as he left you no time to think, bucking and rubbing his hips up into your clothed heat and holding you squarely between the cushion and his growing bulge. "Please, don't mention him--"

"Who?" He breathed directly in your ear now with a wicked tone, sending a shiver down your spine, his hands traveling to your belt. "Your _boyfriend_?"

Levi's fingers worked quickly at your pants, picking apart the buttons as he continued sucking hot kisses into your neck. You were like putty in his hold, your heartbeat fully in your cunt when you felt him yank your pants down over your ass to your knees. Wasting no time, his lips left yours and you sucked in air, watching him swoop down to pull them off with your boots.

"Please don't," you tried again, barely able to handle your own immorality as it was without mentions of Eren. Levi had other plans though, and was back between your legs, cupping your sex as his lips sought your neck again. 

"Don't what?" his confidence was building with every passing second as you unraveled at his touch and words, his fingers pawing at your entrance through your dampened panties, palm crushing up against your buzzing clit. "So wet at the thought, huh?" he was in your ear again, voice rough and low. "Does it turn you on?"

"No--ah-," you tried to lie when his thumb slipped under the fabric and found your clit, not even moving yet but pressing firmly into the throbbing bundle of nerves.

"It does, doesn't it?" he taunted, and all you could do was listen and hold on to him as he pressed more firmly, working the sensitive nub into your pelvic bone. "Say it."

Your eyes went wide, and as he began moving the finger over your clit, sending a strangled moan past your lips, you realized it was too late. It was already happening, you were already damned no matter what beyond this point. Whatever you had with Eren was forever demolished, and you were practically dripping on Levi's fingers for it. Fuck it.

"Yes," you breathed shamelessly and heard a satisfied groan from Levi's throat, one hand still playing with your cunt as the free one reached for yours, slipping your hand over his bulge. He wanted you to say it, to show him you were fully aware of what this meant, and that you were doing it anyway. Because of him, _for_ him.

"Again." Just as you were going for his belt, you felt two immoral fingers slip past your entrance, curling against the soft walls.

"Damn it-," you couldn't help but choke out, it was more than you could bear but exactly what the worst part of you wanted, for him to make you take pleasure in your wrongdoings. "Yes, Levi, it does, so much, please--"

His lips cut you off with a fervent kiss, fingers reaching an ambitious pace on your clit as you struggled to breathe through your nose, feeling blindly at the outline of his straining crotch. You were squirming against him, drowning in unconscionable pleasure but desperate for more, cupping his clothed manhood hungrily.

"What would he think?" he enticed throatily as he pulled away for air, his lips dancing against yours as he spoke and sending a shiver through you at his scandalous words. It was less clear now, whether they were for his or your pleasure, or both. " _If I sent you back dripping with my cum?_ " 

"Holy shit," your head was practically spinning, desperate for his lips again but hanging on to every word as he let them spill, completely uninhibited. Your next words came out in short bursts, his low-lidded eyes studying your undoing while he rubbed your cunt expertly. "You can't--say that-"

"Who's gonna stop me?" His lids were heavy with lust, lips parted and breathing the words out so seductively, it was irresistible. "You love this, cadet. Say it."

"I love it," you groaned, somehow still fighting with the last sliver of your conscience left, anything to have his lips burn with yours once more. As you nudged forward, searching for them, his attention was elsewhere, lowering and planting a kiss on your collarbones.

"Tell me you'll leave him," he mumbled into you, ignoring your squirming and pulling further and further away from you, down your chest. You let your head fall back into the cushion, buzzing with the twisted mess of arousal and shame you felt, the guilt he knew he was imparting on you now, to carry with him. Still, you couldn't say it, not yet.

"Levi-"

"I won't stop until you do." You felt hands on your thighs, his voice more distant.

"What--oh _fuck_ -"

Levi took both open thighs in his hands, planting his hot mouth on your pussy, sucking your swollen clit between his lips. It took everything in you not to cry out, his tongue flickering over the trapped nub between his lips, groaning vibrations through it. It felt _unbelievable_ , his hands pushing the back of your thighs up to your chest, stretching you open as he buried himself between your legs.

It was only a matter of seconds before another moan left your throat, your hips writhing into his face as he gave you unmatched pleasure, sucking harshly then slowly, electrifying your nerve endings. Your hands shot to his dark hair, fingers brushing along the undercut. You couldn't believe how close you were already.

"Levi," you breathed out, it was all you could do at the sight of him like that, strong arms flexing and holding your thighs to your chest, a head of inky black hair between them.

You let the pleasure consume you, feeling a salacious hand travel from your thigh to your slit, splitting open the folds with two fingers. With heightened access now, he flicked his tongue over your entrance teasingly, running along the length back to your clit with a groan. Taking it between his teeth now, you mewled a little in shock but he was gentle, bringing his lips around it again and slipping a finger into your core once more.

"Ah-," the finger was joined by another, curling up into your spot once more, kneading your soft inner walls with the pads, his tongue and lips on your clit--it was too much--you were so close--

"Oh shit, oh god-" you signaled to him and he groaned against you again, sending pulses through your trembling pussy, thrusting his fingers in and out now. Pleasure peaked soon after, the tightly coiled rope in your abdomen unraveling and carrying you past the brink, your thighs tremoring as sparks of pleasure shot up through them.

Maybe five seconds, maybe four, that was all the time you got of pure bliss before the sting of overstimulation dawned on you, your captain's pace on your clit unrelenting. He was still pumping his fingers in and out of your pulsating hole, working and curling his fingers and you twisted your face towards the cushion.

"Fuck!" you whined, trying to squirm your hips away from his face, but it was no use. Levi was stronger, and he expected this. He was still waiting, after all, to hear you say it.

"Please, Levi," your pleas were cut off by the hand holding your hips down reaching away briefly to slap the side of your ass, both reminding you of his promise and adding to the stinging mixture of pleasure and torture on your cunt. You couldn't last much longer.

"Damn it-- _fine_ , you win," you tested but he didn't stop, if anything his thin fingers only curled up more, pressing _directly_ into the now sore soft spot in you. It was overwhelming, and the words left you in short spurts, "Fuck, I'll leave him--tonight, I promise-- _please-_ "

Slowly, the fingers stopped thrusting, uncurling with his lips as he unlatched, taking his time. The biting pain slowly faded, along with the buzzing renewal of arousal your body couldn't help, and he looked up at you finally, heavy-lidded steel eyes peeking through strands of dark hair. His lips and chin were glistening--you couldn't look at it.

With a heaving chest, you waited for the sparks to die down before his hips were suddenly between your legs again, pulling you into a kiss. Tasting yourself on his lips, you shuddered, reaching a hand down to his belt. You were overstimulated and buzzing yes, but the thrill lingered, your pussy begging to be filled properly, fucked like the corrupt woman you were. Before you could even slip a finger into the pant loop, he pulled away from the kiss, his forehead on yours.

"Tomorrow morning, you'll be joining our training for the testing period." His tone was even and collected, nothing like the man who was just whispering carnal, depraved words in your ear. "If it goes well, you're back on the squad. Try not to cause any trouble."

You blinked up at him, trying not to let your stupor show on your face. He wants to talk about that _now_? "What?"

He pulled away properly now, sitting upon his knees and reaching for your discarded pants from the floor. "It's late cadet, and I believe you have a commitment to attend to."

"You can't be serious," you sat up too now, tucking your knees under you as you faced him. He only chuckled lowly to himself, handing you your clothes. 

"I don't share, Y/N," his words dripped with smugness, and it clicked in your mind. _That calculating motherfucker_. Technically, he got nothing from this, this was all you. All your fault. Your burden now.

You studied his smooth skin, his sharp features for any cracks in his demeanor for a few seconds, finding none. With newfound nervousness, your eyes darted away, taking the pants and quickly pulling them back on, then your boots, then clicking together the straps. Levi watched you, his erection still apparent but ignored from where he sat, somewhat amused at your flustered actions.

When you were finally at the door, a hand took you by the forearm, pulling you into a kiss once more. Grimacing internally at the taste of yourself still on his lips, a reminder of your transgressions, you let him pull you in for it anyway. It was the most tender he'd ever been with you, after all.

With a final knowing gaze, you slipped from his office, hearing the heavy wooden door close behind you. The hallway was dark and vacant, only a hint of moonlight coming through the stone-arched windows. It was a stark, cold difference from the heated, candlelit atmosphere of his office, and now your runway of shame back to your room.

Heart heavy and mind thankfully still lagging a bit, the guilt not fully overwhelming you yet, you took quiet steps through the castle to your wing. Still a little drunk, cunt buzzing, and feeling positively evil, you found yourself outside Eren's room, listening for any signs of movement. He was asleep, probably. With a tremoring arm, you raised your hand to knock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I feel bad posting this for some reason. Gentle reminder I'm really just writing this for fun and just as a way to externalize my own shit, not so much to write some grand, flowery, or remotely justified love story I guess. That being said, how are we feeling?


End file.
